65 thoughts on “Jennifer-glam live webcams for YOU!”
Yeah, we walk away from men with kids, because we are either child free intentionally for reasons that are none of your business, or have already grown children with no interest in our wants and needs taking a back seat to a kids needs.
Tell her, and be prepared for her to walk away from you for being a lying jackwaggon
She sounds like my ex. You and your daughter are a package deal, she can’t pick and choose which aspects of you she keeps and which she rejects. I don’t advise tolerating this, it will leave you feeling crappy and ultimately damage your relationship with your daughter. Prioritise her.
You’re definitely right. I was flabbergasted. In the heat of the moment I told him to shove his ring up his ass, then said oh wait nvm you’ll need to sell that to get money back for our children for Christmas. I honestly dont know how to feel right now. I’m being distant and have a lot of thinking to do.
This comment. I married at 19 to some one way way WAY WAAYYY older than me (met at 16 – Reddit will crucify me on the details so I dare not share) and by 26 I knew that it was wrong and not in my best interests to stay. Every person changes, we don't know their life and what is the reality each day they come home to each other. As adults they may not say more than a passing hello or what's for dinner on the best of days, happiness changes throughout life. I wish them both the best but asking for space is the least you can do for each other to find out where to go from here it doesn't mean either person is ” dancing in another bed” just that things have run their course
You don’t “get” someone to like you. There’s not a method to “making” someone like you.
You just need to live your life fully and develop a healthy sense of autonomy. Do things that bring you joy or challenge your intellect. The healthiest relationships begin when we are just enjoying our lives, and you meet someone who’s interests, life values and / or life path overlap with yours.
Going into further debt for a wedding, which is one day, is beyond stupid. She has champagne taste on a beer budget. You're already $200k combined in debt. Not sure how high student debt affects your ability to qualify for a loan.
You need to sit her down and tell her that you want the two of you (remind her that it's your wedding too) to have a beautiful wedding, but you're not going into debt for it. Her debt will affect you as well after you get married.
Ok and you’re not even official so stop wasting your time and move on. You found someone unhinged, things happen, doesn’t mean sit there and entertain the bs.
That sounds like some fluff from one of those relationship self help books. No one is the “prize” in a relationship. We're all settling to some degree because no one is perfect.
Ok I just have 1 question why not 2 sandwiches since it is a bday after all? J/k this all sounds really bad that you both haven’t done what was needed to de escalate this misunderstanding rather than letting it explode!
Maybe marriage counselling for your mutual lack of communication and resolving of disputes. I can definitely see both points of view and I’m going to assume it was a timing issue here Ie OP wanted the sandwich before sex rather than after.
Also asking for a sandwich as your bday meal??? Really hard to tell if you were joking.
That's going to take a huge toll on you and, eventually, you'll likely lose who you are. Then that's just beyond over.
You do deserve respect and your emotions and feelings do matter. They are valid. He's really not caring or hearing you when you express yourself, and just coming up with ways to diminish what you've said. Then he goes into being a supportive boyfriend who “doesn't want you to speak ill of yourself” when he was the one who brought it up to begin with. It's messed up. It also sounds condescending.
He's not creating a safe space for you to express yourself freely. I think we all should have that safe space with our partners without fearing a blow to our self-confidence, and instead made to feel selfish or wrong.
Some guys just don’t finish as easily as others, and this can change as you get older. Don’t put the blame on yourself but equally don’t put the blame on him. The orgasm isn’t everything.
Some guys just don’t finish as easily as others, and this can change as you get older. Don’t put the blame on yourself but equally don’t put the blame on him. The orgasm isn’t everything.
Some guys just don’t finish as easily as others, and this can change as you get older. Don’t put the blame on yourself but equally don’t put the blame on him. The orgasm isn’t everything.
i completely agree with you. It’s a humbling thing to realize you’re the one perpetuating the traume, and I think that shame is what I’m having a rough time swallowing. Thank you
Damn you gonna shift the blame to the OP ? That’s fucked lol But say if it WAS all his fault he’s tried communicating with her about it. If she doesn’t let him know what she needs then she’s wrecking their sex life single handedly
Red flag alert!!! This would be a minor issue, HOWEVER, the part that put the nail in the coffin was when he said “he can't control himself”.
Get out now.. men CAN control themselves. He is using it as an excuse to be a creep. And this is just the beginning. It's a super toxic mindset.. next thing you know, he'll be taking advantage of you in an inebriated state and claiming that “he's a man, so it's his instinct/right/or however he wants to paint it…
No, it's not about attraction. Why don't you believe her when she says her sex drive has changed or that she feels unwell? Is she taking birth control? That can great affect sex drive. It can also cause other symptoms causing someone to feel unwell. She could also be having another medical issue going on.
While I recognize what he’s saying plenty of people my age are single parents or have their own animals so there’s really no reason why I also couldn’t make it work.
In my state you can’t foster or adopt if you live in an apartment. Other states allow you to buy mine doesn’t and you cant foster across state lines
Soooo you digged into something that shouldn't have affected your now exclusive relationship and made yourself upset. Idk what advice you want from us here, seems like you were looking for a fight
You FORCED your partner into doing something. You started your post with that. You need to mature. Poor guy. My only advice, couples talk and agree to do things. If he never agreed there was a reason. And now you know the reason. You're young as well, specially him. Consider maturing before getting married otherwise it won't last long. You seem to have communication issues as well. So yeah, suck up not being called cute things for a while. Your wish to meet your future I laws opened up some trauma.
I know someone who was in a similar situation. Her would-be mother-in-law was heartbroken and upset, but also completely understanding of why it had to end when she found out what happened.
Right? How weird. He wants it to be upsetting because it reads like that is the part he finds funny. He is a bully and the family “laughs” because I bet he acts like a real moron if someone tries to draw boundaries on his behavior. He likes upsetting people! He wants attention! It's so cringe and they all should stop letting this happen its weird like a family with no backbone. So annoying.
Thank you for all the answers. I planned to go to a therapy anyway 🙂 I reflected a bit and realized, that a big part of what makes me upset is that I feel some “bad blood” between me and my ex-gf and unresolved conflicts (also some negative feelings that arose after the breakup). I just let it go for now, there is no need to solve all of it now.
A bottle of cologne, some golf clubs, clothes. These are presents. a threesome is not a present. telling someone that they are going to be spending their night having a kind of sex that they might or might not wish to be having – In your case, you're clearly have cold feet – is definitely not a gift and it's not a gift from a loving partner. I think I would just ask her what is wrong with her that she thinks this is a good idea. I would certainly consider leaving.
A bottle of cologne, some golf clubs, clothes. These are presents. a threesome is not a present. telling someone that they are going to be spending their night having a kind of sex that they might or might not wish to be having – In your case, you're clearly have cold feet – is definitely not a gift and it's not a gift from a loving partner. I think I would just ask her what is wrong with her that she thinks this is a good idea. I would certainly consider leaving.
when you asked him, I bet he didnt bat an eyelash.
In all seriousness, just this one thing is not an issue but it is enough of one to keep an eye out for more. Trust is slippery sometimes and he just slide back a bit in your eyes
it seems doubly weird throwing my parents into the mix, especially since she’s already pissed them off (rightly so) a couple of times lately. Oh, and she’s only given me 5 days’ notice
Definitely say no. Your GFs brother and his friends are most likely strangers to your parents?
It is so learned behavior. It runs along the hypochrondriacal line. “If I don't feel good, I'll get sympathy instead of anger and this disagreement will be done”. It's the same as when there's a disagreement and the (usually) women immediately dissolves into tears in front of her guy, instead of continuing & resolving the disagreement. Often makes the guy uncomfortable and shifts his gears in another direction.
More communication. Seems like maybe you two don't talk to each other about how you feel. Have you talked to him about how you feel when he doesn't call on the days he doesn't? Not that he doesn't call you but how you feel when he doesn't. Many relationships break up because they can't communicate.
“…towering over him (my dad is 6' 7”) while saying things like “since you're such a smart pr*ck why don't you explain how we all came from nothingness”.”
Another sweet story to tell at Sunday School for all the other's living their Christ-like existance. Amen!
You are headed into a bad marriage if you continue on and get married. He has shown that he won’t do much to help you around home, nor properly bathe himself, generally that gets much worse during marriage. He may be a swell man personality wise, but his behavior seems to be building up relationship damaging resentment within you, not a way to move forward with your life.
My 13 year old daughter hates crowds and loud noises. I just found that out this past Nov. We were out at a busy restaurant for my husband’s birthday. It was packed and the sounds of everyone was just echoing off the walls. I looked over at her because she hadn’t been talking since we sat down and I asked her if everything was alright. Her eyes were welling up and she started crying. She said it was too loud and she wanted to go home. We had just put in our drink orders. I asked her if she brought her ear buds and she did and I said to try listening to her music. That helped her a lot to be able to muffle the loud noise of the room and having her listen to music that she’s familiar with.
Ah man, this gave me flashbacks to when I was younger, like pre-teen/early teens. The husband of a family friend had just cheated on her. I was appalled and asked my mum what he did, if it was kissing or whatever.
My mum was like “come on, don’t be silly. They’re adults, what do you think they did? They had sex.” I count that as one of the moment that shattered my innocence and made me lose a lot of respect for these adults I was supposedly expected to look up to cause they were grown.
Thanks for your response, it helps to know I'm not the only one who is feeling/would feel upset over this. I don't know what to do, really- I've told him how I felt, exactly like this, and he said it was unfair. I don't know how to go from here.
He's currently just playing video games and holding me while I cry my eyes out.
Yeah, we walk away from men with kids, because we are either child free intentionally for reasons that are none of your business, or have already grown children with no interest in our wants and needs taking a back seat to a kids needs.
Tell her, and be prepared for her to walk away from you for being a lying jackwaggon
She sounds like my ex. You and your daughter are a package deal, she can’t pick and choose which aspects of you she keeps and which she rejects. I don’t advise tolerating this, it will leave you feeling crappy and ultimately damage your relationship with your daughter. Prioritise her.
MMF, I wouldn’t want to even if it was a girl instead though.
You’re definitely right. I was flabbergasted. In the heat of the moment I told him to shove his ring up his ass, then said oh wait nvm you’ll need to sell that to get money back for our children for Christmas. I honestly dont know how to feel right now. I’m being distant and have a lot of thinking to do.
This comment. I married at 19 to some one way way WAY WAAYYY older than me (met at 16 – Reddit will crucify me on the details so I dare not share) and by 26 I knew that it was wrong and not in my best interests to stay. Every person changes, we don't know their life and what is the reality each day they come home to each other. As adults they may not say more than a passing hello or what's for dinner on the best of days, happiness changes throughout life. I wish them both the best but asking for space is the least you can do for each other to find out where to go from here it doesn't mean either person is ” dancing in another bed” just that things have run their course
Sweet home Alabama! ?
But on topic xD That's pretty messed up. It would be a deal breaker for me. I'd consider suggesting therapy maybe?
At this point I have communicated about it. What he does in the future I can’t control
You don’t “get” someone to like you. There’s not a method to “making” someone like you.
You just need to live your life fully and develop a healthy sense of autonomy. Do things that bring you joy or challenge your intellect. The healthiest relationships begin when we are just enjoying our lives, and you meet someone who’s interests, life values and / or life path overlap with yours.
Thank God this is the first comment
Going into further debt for a wedding, which is one day, is beyond stupid. She has champagne taste on a beer budget. You're already $200k combined in debt. Not sure how high student debt affects your ability to qualify for a loan.
You need to sit her down and tell her that you want the two of you (remind her that it's your wedding too) to have a beautiful wedding, but you're not going into debt for it. Her debt will affect you as well after you get married.
Ok and you’re not even official so stop wasting your time and move on. You found someone unhinged, things happen, doesn’t mean sit there and entertain the bs.
That sounds like some fluff from one of those relationship self help books. No one is the “prize” in a relationship. We're all settling to some degree because no one is perfect.
Seems a weird thing to be offended by. Like your makeup should be offended, not you.
The US sponsor would be on the hook to pay back any state assistance she receives in the future too.
If he was the right one for you, neither of you would need to talk yourselves into it.
Maybe you need a schedule?
What times would he like for himself and what times for you?
He just dumped me actually
He doesn't let me visit him. I don't even know his address. We're awkward together because I get really nervous around him
Ok I just have 1 question why not 2 sandwiches since it is a bday after all? J/k this all sounds really bad that you both haven’t done what was needed to de escalate this misunderstanding rather than letting it explode!
Maybe marriage counselling for your mutual lack of communication and resolving of disputes. I can definitely see both points of view and I’m going to assume it was a timing issue here Ie OP wanted the sandwich before sex rather than after.
Also asking for a sandwich as your bday meal??? Really hard to tell if you were joking.
Yeah, sex I can get over being rejected pretty quickly. If I'm hungry and I'm denied food…much different scenario.
Yeah no I wouldn’t. I’m not necessarily going to end it now but I’ll be giving this serious thought, thank you
That's just a tiring and endless cycle.
That's going to take a huge toll on you and, eventually, you'll likely lose who you are. Then that's just beyond over.
You do deserve respect and your emotions and feelings do matter. They are valid. He's really not caring or hearing you when you express yourself, and just coming up with ways to diminish what you've said. Then he goes into being a supportive boyfriend who “doesn't want you to speak ill of yourself” when he was the one who brought it up to begin with. It's messed up. It also sounds condescending.
He's not creating a safe space for you to express yourself freely. I think we all should have that safe space with our partners without fearing a blow to our self-confidence, and instead made to feel selfish or wrong.
Some guys just don’t finish as easily as others, and this can change as you get older. Don’t put the blame on yourself but equally don’t put the blame on him. The orgasm isn’t everything.
Some guys just don’t finish as easily as others, and this can change as you get older. Don’t put the blame on yourself but equally don’t put the blame on him. The orgasm isn’t everything.
Some guys just don’t finish as easily as others, and this can change as you get older. Don’t put the blame on yourself but equally don’t put the blame on him. The orgasm isn’t everything.
Exile yourself from the group. They've made it clear they do not value you. Focus on your peripheral friends and develop a new friend group.
i completely agree with you. It’s a humbling thing to realize you’re the one perpetuating the traume, and I think that shame is what I’m having a rough time swallowing. Thank you
You need to tell her beforehand in case she doesn't want to see you.
He’s trying to crush you so you won’t have any fight left when he does finally serve divorce papers
Damn you gonna shift the blame to the OP ? That’s fucked lol But say if it WAS all his fault he’s tried communicating with her about it. If she doesn’t let him know what she needs then she’s wrecking their sex life single handedly
They could take a picture of the note for her if they want to keep the original. I understand their grief but this is cruel. It's mental torture.
Red flag alert!!! This would be a minor issue, HOWEVER, the part that put the nail in the coffin was when he said “he can't control himself”.
Get out now.. men CAN control themselves. He is using it as an excuse to be a creep. And this is just the beginning. It's a super toxic mindset.. next thing you know, he'll be taking advantage of you in an inebriated state and claiming that “he's a man, so it's his instinct/right/or however he wants to paint it…
NOPE NOPE a thousand times NOPE. Get out girl.
Women get dressed up when they go out with friends.
What did you say to him in the reasons I love you convo?
Don’t confuse doing things for you with spending money on you. Two different things.
No, it's not about attraction. Why don't you believe her when she says her sex drive has changed or that she feels unwell? Is she taking birth control? That can great affect sex drive. It can also cause other symptoms causing someone to feel unwell. She could also be having another medical issue going on.
While I recognize what he’s saying plenty of people my age are single parents or have their own animals so there’s really no reason why I also couldn’t make it work.
In my state you can’t foster or adopt if you live in an apartment. Other states allow you to buy mine doesn’t and you cant foster across state lines
It’s a long story. Things changed.
Wtf did I just read
Soooo you digged into something that shouldn't have affected your now exclusive relationship and made yourself upset. Idk what advice you want from us here, seems like you were looking for a fight
You FORCED your partner into doing something. You started your post with that. You need to mature. Poor guy. My only advice, couples talk and agree to do things. If he never agreed there was a reason. And now you know the reason. You're young as well, specially him. Consider maturing before getting married otherwise it won't last long. You seem to have communication issues as well. So yeah, suck up not being called cute things for a while. Your wish to meet your future I laws opened up some trauma.
thank you! i’m not sure what to do. but i appreciate your input 🙂
Can you elaborate?
Honestly? If I'm giving my absolute 100% real answer….this is a dumbass question.
This is the way.
I know someone who was in a similar situation. Her would-be mother-in-law was heartbroken and upset, but also completely understanding of why it had to end when she found out what happened.
Keep the house if you got one..
Live in it Thats a start.
Do not take her back once a cheater always.
On family.. Give yourself time to heal.. When your ready you will meet another.
I sorrys your going through so much.
Hugs
Right? How weird. He wants it to be upsetting because it reads like that is the part he finds funny. He is a bully and the family “laughs” because I bet he acts like a real moron if someone tries to draw boundaries on his behavior. He likes upsetting people! He wants attention! It's so cringe and they all should stop letting this happen its weird like a family with no backbone. So annoying.
Go on strike. He'll learn. No dishes, no cooking, no laundry. He can do it all himself. He'll appreciate you once he goes it alone.
If at 6 months he is calling you names over something so small what do you think he will be doing a year into the relationship.
This is a dealbreaker.
I mean end the relationship.
Thank you for all the answers. I planned to go to a therapy anyway 🙂 I reflected a bit and realized, that a big part of what makes me upset is that I feel some “bad blood” between me and my ex-gf and unresolved conflicts (also some negative feelings that arose after the breakup). I just let it go for now, there is no need to solve all of it now.
Uncomfortable, yes. But not as invasive as egg collection.
A bottle of cologne, some golf clubs, clothes. These are presents. a threesome is not a present. telling someone that they are going to be spending their night having a kind of sex that they might or might not wish to be having – In your case, you're clearly have cold feet – is definitely not a gift and it's not a gift from a loving partner. I think I would just ask her what is wrong with her that she thinks this is a good idea. I would certainly consider leaving.
A bottle of cologne, some golf clubs, clothes. These are presents. a threesome is not a present. telling someone that they are going to be spending their night having a kind of sex that they might or might not wish to be having – In your case, you're clearly have cold feet – is definitely not a gift and it's not a gift from a loving partner. I think I would just ask her what is wrong with her that she thinks this is a good idea. I would certainly consider leaving.
when you asked him, I bet he didnt bat an eyelash.
In all seriousness, just this one thing is not an issue but it is enough of one to keep an eye out for more. Trust is slippery sometimes and he just slide back a bit in your eyes
This is a him problem, not a you problem. Extricate yourself from the relationship and wish him well. If you don't. He will take you down with him.
You are 19, you need to realize that when people show you who they really are, you better believe them.
Just say no. 'no, that won't be possible.'
it seems doubly weird throwing my parents into the mix, especially since she’s already pissed them off (rightly so) a couple of times lately. Oh, and she’s only given me 5 days’ notice
Definitely say no. Your GFs brother and his friends are most likely strangers to your parents?
It is so learned behavior. It runs along the hypochrondriacal line. “If I don't feel good, I'll get sympathy instead of anger and this disagreement will be done”. It's the same as when there's a disagreement and the (usually) women immediately dissolves into tears in front of her guy, instead of continuing & resolving the disagreement. Often makes the guy uncomfortable and shifts his gears in another direction.
More communication. Seems like maybe you two don't talk to each other about how you feel. Have you talked to him about how you feel when he doesn't call on the days he doesn't? Not that he doesn't call you but how you feel when he doesn't. Many relationships break up because they can't communicate.
none of that is the same story that your post implies, ironically enough.
Thats why im trying to figure out. We’re not talking to each other for almost a month and I dont have any idea what she’s up to
“…towering over him (my dad is 6' 7”) while saying things like “since you're such a smart pr*ck why don't you explain how we all came from nothingness”.”
Another sweet story to tell at Sunday School for all the other's living their Christ-like existance. Amen!
You are headed into a bad marriage if you continue on and get married. He has shown that he won’t do much to help you around home, nor properly bathe himself, generally that gets much worse during marriage. He may be a swell man personality wise, but his behavior seems to be building up relationship damaging resentment within you, not a way to move forward with your life.
My 13 year old daughter hates crowds and loud noises. I just found that out this past Nov. We were out at a busy restaurant for my husband’s birthday. It was packed and the sounds of everyone was just echoing off the walls. I looked over at her because she hadn’t been talking since we sat down and I asked her if everything was alright. Her eyes were welling up and she started crying. She said it was too loud and she wanted to go home. We had just put in our drink orders. I asked her if she brought her ear buds and she did and I said to try listening to her music. That helped her a lot to be able to muffle the loud noise of the room and having her listen to music that she’s familiar with.
Adults don’t just make out. They had sex.
Ah man, this gave me flashbacks to when I was younger, like pre-teen/early teens. The husband of a family friend had just cheated on her. I was appalled and asked my mum what he did, if it was kissing or whatever.
My mum was like “come on, don’t be silly. They’re adults, what do you think they did? They had sex.” I count that as one of the moment that shattered my innocence and made me lose a lot of respect for these adults I was supposedly expected to look up to cause they were grown.
Thanks for your response, it helps to know I'm not the only one who is feeling/would feel upset over this. I don't know what to do, really- I've told him how I felt, exactly like this, and he said it was unfair. I don't know how to go from here.
He's currently just playing video games and holding me while I cry my eyes out.