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dildo 23 cm , my ass [1505 tokens remaining]
Date: October 9, 2022
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Im fine with dad jokes, its just baby talk makes my gut twist because it feels like I’m dating a man child
You don’t have to stay with someone you can’t trust. She’s a thief.
Yeah, this isn’t one of those scenarios where it’s past toxicity or mild traits.
I’ve known people to recover from past toxic patterns and behaviors, but they were working on them for years and had been to therapy and accepted their behavior was an issue for them long before anything changed.
It takes a long time to grow and change as an adult— years. If someone is being toxic, they may never change and it’s not worth the risk to your health and well-being to wait and see.
If your partner had owned up and warned you about things he struggled with in the past that he was working on, that might be one thing. But by 36 he should already know what he struggles with and show signs of being someone actively working on themselves.
This guy sounds toxic, condescending, manipulative, and vindictive. I’d hit the road, as mentioned, quietly and with your peace and safety as the priority.
No you are not. I think that is weird AND disrespectful. It's the equivalent of if a husband referred to his wife as his biggest kid or big girl.
To me it sounds like you approach critique as if you expect her to just fall in line and accept whatever you say as the truth because of your background. Instead of acknowledging that she is allowed to have her own opinion, and not turning everything into an argument over whose opinion is “right”.
Your girlfriend is allowed to express her own opinion of whatever your topic is without it needing to turn into a debate. I think it would be good for you to stop thinking of everything as having to be right or wrong and instead just actually actively listening to what she's saying and accepting it at face value rather than trying to counter her points.
Because constantly critiquing and pushing back against her when she makes probably makes her feel like you think her opinion is lower than yours/not good enough/makes you sound like a really negative person to converse with.
Lmao violin is for your wallet home boy, that child support be hittin whether she with your bum ass or not
You’re the one that called the break so HEY You reap what you sow
Please talk to a therapist – asap.
Weirdly enough this post confirmed my bf is gonna be my husband lol. The line about “if hes not invested in this cat, how will he create a loving home for a child” really stuck out to me, and its true. My bf, who paid the adoption fee for a cat he “didnt even really want” and “was just to keep me company while he’s away at college”, wakes up every day at 6am to feed our cat, and i often wake up to the two of them cuddling next to me lol. When our cat is not feeling well he is the FIRST to notice and is always as concerned as me. Op you’re right, if he cant even handle the unexpected challenges that came with a CAT, how will he handle all the possible curveballs a child brings? It may seem super far away now, but if you’re like me and you know you’ll want a family one day….this isnt the person to invest years of your life into.
Eh I can see both sides. If it were me, I would go to the graduation though, but that's me. I also don't give a flying fuck about TS
If it truly matters to you then you have to dig deep and ask yourself if you want to be with someone who will ditch you for a show. She may think this is a once in a lifetime opportunity (it’s not), but really she’s just saying your accomplishment is not nearly as interesting as the chance to see her favorite pop star.
Speak to your family first and tell them what's happened. Then speak to any close friends near you that you can trust. Someone will be able to find you a lawyer. If not you should be able to find one online. Also share this post on the legal advice sub. Someone there might also be able to help.
To be completely honest, I would personally break up with you. The fact that you have been able to lie for 4 years to 3 different people you say you love, would make me very uneasy. Plus you a 20 years old so using my parents are strict only shows that you don’t even see yourself as an adult. I hope the best for this situation but I don’t see it going well at all. Also if you think putting it off even longer will be better. You are dead wrong, because the will most likely only ensure the break up
Like you think there are more female users overall in this sub, or more lonely female users?
People who complain a lot are tiresome. It's a fact.
My initial assumptions would mirror those from your family. Doesn’t mean they are correct, but I would say the odds are stronger for it than against it. So you just need to make really certain you don’t have rose glasses clouding your vision, and that you and he are on the same page and want the same things.
Him not having money may be understandable or may be another warning flag to consider. It depends on why.
You tell her what happened without bullshit excuses. It was a choice you made, and now you have to face the consequences. The longer you wait, the worse it'll be.
First, why did you become interested in a 21 year old at 30? You were in different life stages, had different timelines, there's a maturity and life experience gap….
He only buys me gifts sporadically. In the 5 years we have been together he has gifted me: an expensive gold heart necklace, Nike trainers, a rose, a costume jewellery watch, and snacks/drinks. Is that enough gifts for the duration of a 5 year relationship?
Are you for real? Is this the reason why guys your age weren't interested?
Is he your bf or your sugar daddy? At 25, I would imagine he maybe doesn't have a ton of money to be spending on expensive gifts, so I suppose it kinda depends
Leave. He isn't being the kind of man you want. You can let him know hating on anyone and being mean is a total turn off
Sorry, but he too advantage of you.
Anyone moving to another country for a job usually gets relocation money and you should NOT have used YOUR savings to buy furniture, groceries, and pay for your ticket. He should have paid for all of that or he should have asked for relocation money from this job (which they usually provide!!!!). Also, he should have accounted for the fact that you had to find a new job and it would take time. He should have been financially supporting all of that because it was for HIS career at the cost of YOUR job and YOUR savings.
Sell your furniture and get the fuck out of that country.
She's only just begun herself. You both are super young. As a general rule, you don't ? where you eat, so dating a supervisor is not recommended, but now's the time to live and learn, and be willing to get your hear broken. It's all up to you what ya wanna do. ?
Ive done tons of research on sleep training and how beneficial it is for the baby and the parents. She wont budge. She said I can sleep in the bed with them but I always end up getting pushed out. It’s depressing.
The breadwinner comment is only there because she quit her job to be SAHM and I took on extra work so she could be a SAHM like she wanted to be. I compromised for her and would be elated to get that love and under towards me.
She’s forcing her kink on you and not only have you not consented but you have made it clear you don’t want to and do not consent. Therefore what she is doing is violating you.
Hopefully someone else can give you better subs for support, because this one is not it. We give advice and we don't get invested.
You block the new number, but you already know what to do. You just have to do it.
I hate to say it, but hire a PI
He’s probably projecting his own cheating on you
There are plenty of expensive things you can buy for yourself. You have someone who wants to make you happy, that's more important. Yes, you had a plan/goal but these things change, and in your case it's wonderful that it changed coz of someone's loving gesture. Apologize to her, and in the future be more mindful of how you word your feelings.
Exactly what I was thinking
Ok thanks for helping me out I will see if I can use some of those options I will also stop with the porn I think it is doing more harm than good
Honestly I don’t know. I’d like to think I can but idk if I can put my feelings aside for that, idk if I’m that mature.
You guys don't communicate well.
I don't see at any point where you explained that you were moody to him or that the hangup was an accident.
You are both expecting the other to be a mind reader.
Don't say everything is OK when it's obvious it's not.
It's easier to say I'm moody today and would like to talk about it later when we video chat.
You’re going to waste money marrying him just to get divorced later. Stop rushing to the alter with a loser and cancel this wedding. You’ve already wasted 15 years on him. He’s a project not a partner.
I would probably put that in your original post because the way you have it phrased makes it seem like he went NC and you just never tried to talk to him again. But if you have constantly tried to reach him without any luck I would apologize for excluding him, tell him it wasn’t done on purpose but since he had requested no contact you were trying to comply with that. But that if he wants you guys would love to redo the family pictures to include him. Who knows, maybe he will say yes and things can start to thaw.
Somebody has to be the grownup in the situation bud. You can’t afford more kids so it’s that simple. She’s got the baby rabies right now and won’t be reasoned with most likely. Just say no. What else can you do.
Never get married due to an ultimatum. Never.
If you aren't keeping the baby you have no reason to tell him but if you are going to. You need to.
As someone that's currently pregnant i knw its a whole lot to deal with and go through.
But as someone that also grew up without a father there is a big difference in not having one because he's a dick and didn't want to be involved. As a single mom you can do ur best to protect that child from that then because it's his choice to not be involved.
But to not tell him and have your child find out later the reason they didn't have a dad that although he is a shitty dude and bf. Might surprise the shit out of everyone involved and been a good dad.
And you never told him about the child… that's setting yourself up for failure and for the world of confusion and resentment from your child.
Do you have to walk in on him with his d*ck in her for you to believe this isn’t ok? The ‘he would hurt himself’ thing is abuse, why are you putting up with this? Who hurt you so badly that you’d be willing to put up with a man who is at the minimum having an emotional affair and emotionally abusing you?
I sometimes find myself apathetic, or even resentful, at setting aside my own needs so frequently to make her feel not even good, just less bad.
Find a moment where she's receptive to communication and not an emotional mess, then tell her what you just told us. That you're more than willing to be there and be supportive, but there needs to be a limit on how much you can provide.
It's not an unreasonable request – you are a human being with limits, not a proverbial punching bag for her to unload her daily stresses on.
You don't think you are his unwitting lover. You don't think his parents wouldn't approve for whatever reason (religion, character, whatever) since he introduced you as his girlfriend. You don't think he's just not that into you, since he told you it's not true.
Set some boundaries then and see if things improve.
Tell him you want to be part of his life, or at least have a more important role in it should too much too soon be too overwhelming for him (maybe he's just extremely introverted and compartimentalising – but then – why would he spend so much time with his family and friends?)
Tell him that you'd like to see him twice a week and go with him to gatherings, meet his friends and loved ones.
If things don't improve leave.
Honestly, I wonder why you are still there, but maybe you haven't actually demanded anything from him before.
I believe it can be fixed (from experience). Few things to consider : is she otherwise affectionate? Hugs, kisses, touching or avoiding it altogether? Read a book called “come as you are” straight talk about mismatched libidos. Hopefully she can engage enough to read it as well and maybe learn something about herself. Make it clear (attempt #13) this is not working and you are making a last effort to change things because you don’t see a future like this (without a threat but a plea of sorts) Emphasize this by showing her r/DeadBedrooms to help her understand where you are coming from. Explore sexualities. She could be asexual, demisexual or missing a key component in what triggers her libido. Above all, she has to be willing but needs to know status quo is not an option. Also spend time with each other without intending to lead to sex. She might need that intimacy and security back without the pressure. Good luck! ?
well now you're sisters and eskimo sisters, so there is that!
She went into a flood of tears
Those are what's known as 'crocodile tears'.
She doesn't want you texting other people because she was texting her ex-boss and she knows the emotional attachment that can accompany regular communication.
Her motto? “Rules for thee, but not for me”
Do I address this?
100% address this double standard. Don't let her shut you down, guilt trip you, or turn on the fake(crocodile) tears to get out of the discussion.
Either both of you get to have friends outside the relationship, or neither do.
Good luck.
Rule #1 = Never marry into a dead bedroom. Be her close friend. Don’t be her boyfriend, her fiancé, or her husband.
You can’t clog the toilet and then demand respect for doing so. A household is a democracy, not a Nat Geo documentary on lions. You don’t live in his house, he lives alongside all of you.
i agree that the way i act is my responsibility but also i have certain reactions because i have been in situations that were traumatic and because of that i can act in heightened ways. that is what a trigger is. i can own the fact that i treated my friend in a cruel way without blaming myself for the emotional abuse i endured. she is completely entitled to remove herself from the conversation and i respected that, i did not contact her from the last date on the screenshots onwards except to reschedule our call the first time and then today when we were supposed to have our second call. her wanting space makes sense, but we had arranged to talk and that’s what frustrated me today. i have given her space.
addressing your point about asking my therapist about the narcissistic abuse in my messages and not being entitled to your time: i understand your point but also you responded to my post in an advice sub, it’s not that weird of me to ask for advice. of course i will ask my therapist.
i agree that the way i act is my responsibility but also i have certain reactions because i have been in situations that were traumatic and because of that i can act in heightened ways. that is what a trigger is. i can own the fact that i treated my friend in a cruel way without blaming myself for the emotional abuse i endured. she is completely entitled to remove herself from the conversation and i respected that, i did not contact her from the last date on the screenshots onwards except to reschedule our call the first time and then today when we were supposed to have our second call. her wanting space makes sense, but we had arranged to talk and that’s what frustrated me today. i have given her space.
addressing your point about asking my therapist about the narcissistic abuse in my messages and not being entitled to your time: i understand your point but also you responded to my post in an advice sub, it’s not that weird of me to ask for advice. of course i will ask my therapist.
i agree that the way i act is my responsibility but also i have certain reactions because i have been in situations that were traumatic and because of that i can act in heightened ways. that is what a trigger is. i can own the fact that i treated my friend in a cruel way without blaming myself for the emotional abuse i endured. she is completely entitled to remove herself from the conversation and i respected that, i did not contact her from the last date on the screenshots onwards except to reschedule our call the first time and then today when we were supposed to have our second call. her wanting space makes sense, but we had arranged to talk and that’s what frustrated me today. i have given her space.
addressing your point about asking my therapist about the narcissistic abuse in my messages and not being entitled to your time: i understand your point but also you responded to my post in an advice sub, it’s not that weird of me to ask for advice. of course i will ask my therapist.
This is the way.
Your husband’s viewpoint of what has gone on in your friend’s marriage is so unempathetic and skewed as to be a very troubling indicator of his character and judgment as a person.
His giving you an ultimatum about being her friend us an effort to control you and punish her. Both are gross and inappropriate.
Stand your ground. Try to help him come to a better perspective, of course. He’s your husband and you love him. But if he insists on leaving you over this, you are better off.
His attitude makes me worry a lot fit his ability to be a good parent to any kids you have or might have. That kind of rigidity is a bane of good parenting.
I feel sorry for most fools for listen to women about birth control. The power is in us. Do not leave it up to them. Because when she get pregnant its not about what you want anymore. Don’t lose your autonomy over 5 mins.
she’s going through a lot of shit
Sorry to say it, but when a piece of sh*t is going through a lot of sh*t, nothing particularly remarkable to notice. And if it behaves like sh*t, talks like sh*t, treats people like sh*t, … it's … sh*t.
Do you regret hooking up and marrying your son ex-best friend? You should. I would have tried to kill him. What are you hoping for in this meeting with your son?
I really hate when people judge others relationships. If he is happy that is all that matters.
Seems like she’s gonna do it with or without your approval. Either it’s a dealbreaker or you accept it. I know tons of women who do modelling as a side gig as social medial has allowed them to be their own managers. She probably is aware of the toxic environment and even if she gets pregnant, she could have already built a strong following who don’t really care if she had a baby.
Did he recently watch Office Space?
Did he recently watch Office Space?
Thank you. He has always been very respectful of my daughters. He has not acted inappropriately and the reason why dont leave together yet is that I needed my daughters to feel safe and to transition slowly. So far, they feel safe around him.
I had to scroll back and double check the ages………….
I'm less concerned about your girl hooking up with someone else moments after you met, I'm sure alcohol was involved, than I am the fact that your “best friend” didn't tell you that he was the guy she fk'd during your nap.
That dude is not your friend.
I’m not sure why you have a question besides why are you lying to yourself?
He's 28 and doesn't have a car, still lives with his mommy, and can't keep his mouth closed about you. Haven't you already been to high school once?
And I want a barbie mansion. People can compromise to a certain extent on their wants, the questions whether she can compromise on this.
If you have to lie about it, probably shouldn’t be doing it. If you wouldn’t include your wife in every single conversation or outing it might not be a great idea to continue this friendship. Respect your relationship and the boundaries created.
Please just stay away from her. You’re better off without her, she’s better off without you.
Look I come from a group of friends that love to tease the fuck out of each other and play apps jokes and this, this even goes beyond what we would do to each other. I wouldn't wait to decide about the boyfriend I would take the opportunity of him not being there to get my stuff out of the apartment and never look back.
It's alright. You'll meet someone more your speed young one.
But you are being transphobic.
Are you f-ing with us?
They are not your friends they see you as an object. I suggest you get new friends. It’s one thing to be sexually attracted to your friends but to tell them in this way sounds like they don’t even respect you. They are just playing the game out in hopes that you fuck them.
Get an annulment and run away fast. You married a toddler
They are not your friends they see you as an object. I suggest you get new friends. It’s one thing to be sexually attracted to your friends but to tell them in this way sounds like they don’t even respect you. They are just playing the game out in hopes that you fuck them.
Guys are far less concerned with a woman's success and earning potential. If he thinks you are cute, you will have a good chance.
Its a little complicated. We talked on Reddit but I don't know if someone was pretending to be her or if she was really her. I just don't know.
Then I looked at her insta and fb and yeah you could say I ended up stalking her for months.
I know how I appear here in this situation but I really think I like her and genuinely would want to know her more.
Leave him. It sounds like you two have no kids together which is a blessing. You are 32 years young. Don't worry about being alone. You will be ok.
You've stayed true to this lowlife POS since you two were basically teenagers, and look at how hes disrespecled you. He basically shit all over your marriage.
Hard pass. Stop being a creep and go meet someone in person. She has 0 interest. There is nothing mutual.
OP commented that he doesn't want kids and she's hoping to change his mind.
Hi … dunno who you are, but please fuck off with the constant spamming of this nonsense. It is just so terribly sad. Find a new hobby, would ya?
She may not even know the answer to that. When people have such profound emotional problems that they can't motivate themselves to perform basic survival skills (like earning a living) they usually request mental health intervention to become functional. You can love her to bits but you're not a therapist and while you can tell yourself you were the “person she needed to get better” hopefully now you can see that it's going to require an actual psychologist. Good luck
In the nicest way it sounds like you stopped golf because of the extra driving
You deserve a hobby and so does he
You have every right to be upset.
It was rude and thoughtless at best…passive aggressive at worst.
Society still hasn't fully caught up with the idea of guys as full parents. He may be doing it subcoously or he may be conscious snd just realize that there is little downside other than you being upset.
If any of that is true other than rude and thoughtless to be followed with apologies and changed behavior, he does not really care about you.