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You speak very nicely but can we move on to the part where you make me moan? Goal.: finger ass #bigboobs #bdsm #latina #curvy #redhead [69 tokens remaining]
Date: October 7, 2022
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You’re trauma bonded and a baby will not help your relationship if that’s what you’re even slightly seeking. Please just ask yourself if you want to keep this child, and if you do, make sure it’s 100% because in your heart of hearts you want to. Look at this knowing that you will be a single mother who will have to rely on the support of people other than him. Truly I am not trying to scare you into making a decision but as someone who is just out of a toxic relationship this year as well, if I got pregnant I know one of my (or a big) reason for keeping it would be to have him stay in my life. To be connected to him somehow, to work on our relationship. A child will change your entire life, think about what that life will look like without your ex.
“Brother and SIL. Your religious choices are yours. Our religious choices are ours. You are trying to use our relationship as a battering ram to force your religious choices on us and that is unacceptable. We'd be happy to be godparents but respect your choice if you want to have Catholic godparents and will bow out gracefully. If this damages our relationship, that's on you for making our relationship conditional on bowing to your religious choices. We respect yours and expect the same courtesy.”
You need to tell him because he's clearly cheating on you and not even considering protecting you at all. He cares nothing about you because he is literally having sex with other women with no protection. Which means that anything he gets, he's going to bring back to you and won't care. And think about it like this OP, he gave you pelvic inflammatory disease, if you want kids this can cause you not to have them. He's literally playing with your life, because what if he gives you something worse in the future. Something that is Incurable. Love yourself more than someone who doesn't care about you at all and leave him.
Why the hell would you be attracted to that kind of behaviour!? It's juvenile, dangerous and stupid to put yourself in physical danger for no reason, but moreso when you have kids and a family to provide for.
There's so much to comment about in your relationship dynamic and post history, but you seriously need to take a look at why you find that sort of thing impressive and attractive, because it's the exact opposite of it, and frankly, your husband is a loser for it.
Why the hell would you be attracted to that kind of behaviour!? It's juvenile, dangerous and stupid to put yourself in physical danger for no reason, but moreso when you have kids and a family to provide for.
There's so much to comment about in your relationship dynamic and post history, but you seriously need to take a look at why you find that sort of thing impressive and attractive, because it's the exact opposite of it, and frankly, your husband is a loser for it.
You’ve posted this twice and are ignoring the advice sounds like you’re a troll
So the children are positive too?
I think it’s a huge red flag. I’d dump him
He sounds like a parent.
He may not be a pedophile but he’s old enough to be your dad and that’s gross. Why isn’t a 43 year old man dating someone his own age? Don’t say it’s cuz you’re so mature beyond your years. Trust me, you’re not. You’re easily manipulated and controlled and clearly very naive about the world, which is why this way too old for you dude wants you.
But she didn’t Fucking around. That term sounds as if she cheated behind his back.
He is refusing to believe that he may be the problem. Go look at his comment history and his responses.
Definitely not mature. At all.
I would slow it down. Let me give you some perspective.
My fiance and I knew one another for like 15 years online as friends before we started dating LD with a plan for me to move out to him (it was def time for me to leave where I was because I was miserable). When we moved in together, it took a good year to a year and a half for us to get used to being around each other every day, understanding boundaries, cleaning standards, etc. It would cause arguments but we got through it.
Now, imagine that same shit but with 2 young children in the mix and that you were AFFAIR partners. If he moves out to where you are, you need to take it slow, not move in together and feel it out.
It's not right that your husband waited until you were literally out the door to do counseling(tho it hardly ever helps). But you also looked and found another option to jump to before you made that decision.
He doesn’t want to have sex as often.
You're only 19, your relationship doesn't have to 'go' anywhere to be meaningful, date him have fun, and when it ends it ends
I don't know, whatever I'm gonna say, he's going to blame it on me in some way.. I'm scared to be completely honest. Last time when he claimed to leave he threatened to destroy belongings of me and wanted money from me ( which I don't have) for his part he paid for our pet. I feel trapped . I just wish he would leave on his own without making a fuss. He's not terrible all day but he can be. I don't know, part of me tells me to wait for valentine's or so when he doesn't do anything for me again , I have a reason to confront him.
Such an important observation! Please listen to this, OP.
youre on… a forum… asking for advice… and crying over the fact that people are going back and forth?
my god, even my 16 year old niece (not pregnant) is more mature than that.
Exactly , no trust left. there is no love without trust. I'm just clinging on to the sliver of hope that I'm misunderstanding something. Which I'm not as of yet.
There’s two things here; first, she’s not interested. I don’t think that could possibly be any more clear.
Second, it shouldn’t even matter based on the fact that you constantly refer to her as a friend. But therein lies the problem; you’re not friends. If nothing else, you certainly don’t see her as a friend. How do I know that? Because a “friend” doesn’t focus on her specifically seeing another guy.
It’s ok to acknowledge the fact that you have romantic feelings for her. That’s logically always been the case, so I’m not sure why you’ve always referred to this as a friendship.
Regardless, here we are. Over 5 months, she threw any and every excuse at the wall not to see you. Even if they were true (they’re not), you should have walked away because no relationship is going to work when one person avoids the other.
When you finally called her out, she told you nothing happens with this “friend.” Let’s even assume she’s not lying. Remember when she told you that she can’t see you due to work, depression, and family issues? If that’s true, how’d she magically find time to see some random guy? It’s almost like she actually has time to do things.
At this point, why waste your time? You don’t want a friendship so stop calling it that. Yes, she’s lying.
The unfortunate Silverlining is that in the last post it said she wasn't that close to her family…. she may only need time, but thats a VERY optimistic outlook. You did the right thing OP, don't ever feel different
Get some therapy dude. You're not the victim she is… Narcissists always have a victim complex.
I’m confused. You don’t want to break up with him, so have you tried talking to him? It seems like you’ve tried everything but speaking to your partner.
Not in the vast majority of relationships and in a odd relationship such as this it's a grey area tbh
You “ruined” Valentine’s Day or you asked him a question that makes you both think about his morality?
OP, sorry to jump on the top comment, but the right person would 100% unequivocally tell those 'friends' to fuck right off.
The right partner would say the same to family if they mistreated you in any way.
My partner absolutely wouldn't stand for anyone disrespecting me. Anyone. My partner gets sad if I say something mean about myself, much less someone else.
I mean, your therapist thinks these friends and the relationship with your fiance is toxic.. What does he say to that?
Also, if your baby were in this situation, what would you advise? Because if you stay in this situation, you'll be training them to disrespect women. And you.
Your problem may be one of lacking quality time than quantity of time.
What does he do on the weekends? Can you go walking then?
I'll be honest with you, you may actually be requesting a bit much. My guy and I are on a similar schedule to yours. He has a few hours to game with the boys after work and then we talk 2 hours before bed every night.
Are there other things you can do to occupy your time while there? It sounds like an imbalance of business in your schedules.
Take her to a hospital right now so they can a rape kit. She was far too drunk to consent to this. You husband raped her.
You have a moral responsibility and duty of care to your sister and you need to look past your hurt and protect her right now.
She is the victim here as well as you, moreso even. Do the right thing and take her to the hospital immediately.
Your husband needs to stay far away from you both. You can ask to see her phone if you need reassuring that there isn't anything going on between them. It seems very unlikely that there would be, especially since your husband hasn't said anything typical of someone caught cheating/having a longstanding affair. He's just fled like an attacker.
Sometimes you can't see the forest from the trees
Is there some mandatory amount of time you have to date before getting engaged? It’s not like they met three weeks ago.
Your son's father is a master manipulator. Alcohol brings out the true nature of the beast, consume to much of it and your true inhabitation come out. Your mom will say I am a grow adult, and you cannot tell me what to do. Speak honestly to you mother about her betraying you. Don't sugar coat the conversation. Tell her this has forever changed the dynamic between you and her. You had her best interest at hearth by having her stay over, your son's father saw this as a window of opportunity and your mom allowed him to climb through.
Never wait. Go live your life and if he comes back then you can see if you want to pursue a renewed connection.
Life your life, go enjoy your hobbies, friends, family and try not to worry about him. If it is meant to be, it will happen. If not, you’ll move past this.
I don’t understand why your wife, knowing full well you both hate each other, wants you there.
Shit, I’d tell him to go ahead and file then. If that’s all it takes for him to want to end your marriage then he doesn’t seem very invested in it in the first place, because what the fuck? Your friend was forced between a rock and a hard place, working an extra job and paying the bills for a cheating husband that she only has to do all of this for because of his terrible decisions, and that’s all it takes for your man to want to leave?? I’d tell him it seems like he’s just looking for an excuse to end things because that’s fucking stupid, so go ahead and do it.
NTA.
We can agree to disagree.
Read his texts.
I mean that that he either should change his tune, or you should end this thing that you have with him.
If you are autistic (aspergers is an outdated term) then that is the reason why you dont understand hints, getting upset at that is the same as getting angry a blind person refuses to see
Get yourself assessed if you can, i did at 40 and its been life changing, hard aswell knowing i went without knowing for decades and how that impacted me, but im a lot kinder to myself now cuz now I understand why i experience life so differently and better equipped to accommodate myself and explain myself and my needs to others
Your wife MUST plainly state what she needs, its impossible for you to magically learn hints and subtext where she easily can simply speak her mind
You are not lacking social skills, autistic folks have their own social skills, its like 2 different cultures, if she joined a culture where everyone is autistic she would be the one found lacking skills if we went by her view
Are you sure he didn't decide to leave because he'd done something wrong and didn't want to risk being found out?
You sound dumb
Then you better learn how to handle your patience and emotions regarding her.
No, he’s at home with his parents. The police took him straight home as apparently he has a stable home there
This is a tricky situation. You stated that you trusted your wife, but then your actions show that you don't trust her. You need to make up your mind, if you trust her, then let her handle the situation. If you don't trust her, which is ok to admit, then this is a different story. I hope this helps a little.
Why he needs to leave? She cheater, she’s the only leaving!
Non of that oh have no where to go, i want to continue bullshit, you go live under a bridge, fuck do i care, you just gotta go
When he asks why you're breaking up with him, say “you're a smart boy. You figure it out.” Haha, kidding.
Honestly that line is so condescending. “Yeah, I'm intelligent enough to know you're upset and know the best way to resolve it is to talk it out.”
Your soon to be ex and the friends agreeing with him do NOT have a healthy mindset for a relationship. Sounds like they thrive on drama. ?
She’s a huge cunt. (Any penis would seem small when you’re that big of a cunt)
Everything is political: if you end up having ten kids because contraception and abortion is not available where you live, that's a pretty big influence on the kind of life you can lead. If you live in a state where books are banned at school, you might end up having to home school those kids. If half of them get cancer and die because you can't afford healthcare, that will also affect your quality of life. If you live in a European country where healthcare (including sex education contraception and abortion), and education (including special needs and further education) are completely free, you might complain about taxes but you could have the number of kids you want and not have to worry about affording basic necessities and generally live happily sledding and watching the aurora borealis in winter and swimming in fjords in the summer.
That's the real question ?
My girlfriend at some point also did this ultimatum, open relationship or break up. She claimed she didn't want to “regret” not living her early-mid 20's to the fullest.
100% exactly like you said; I only agreed to it out of fear of separation, like you said I did feel pinned down to a corner, when your options are the end of a relationship you're attached to or give your partner consent to “cheat” you're really on a lose-lose situation.
She had things with other men twice, both times it completely destroyed me, tortured me, but I did my best to keep it strong while staying monogamous myself…
Thankfully afterwards she came to me and said she feels satisfied with it, that the experience end up not being all that great as she expected and that she has grown so attached to our relationship (we live together) that she wants to return to monogamy as she doesn't want to hurt me further as she's very pleased with what we have…
We're going strong now but it was all in all an awful experience and I know nowadays if she didn't have this change of heart I would have broken up eventually.
As someone who went through that kind of pain… He is lying and is on pills and likely has been for awhile. He needs help with his addiction. His actions alone tells me is his on pills. He will deny it likely get angry.