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  1. He is not listening to what you want! This is important…take note. It will matter when you want a certain cuisine for dinner or a certain item as a gift.

    So my advice- Buy yourself some flowers and enjoy them. He could buy you a rose bushes for your yard or whatever other flowering plant that would make you happy. I mean if you own a place. Hell there’s decent places to buy floral arrangements that don’t cost the bank that a florist does if money is tight or a serious budget. Don’t tell him where the flowers came from either. I love the smell of fresh flowers in the house. Supply a nice vase on table – it certainly can be statement piece. Especially when you cooked dinner for him as a date night in. Yea the flowers made me feel special. Now Vday it’s expensive for flowers due to the date. You would be thrilled to receive them any time just not the one day.

    I think I had a lot of luck because guys I dated sent me floral arrangements and I had tons of vases and pots from previous. It was known that another guy had spent the $ to send me flowers and if they didn’t I might be able to find someone else who would. You can as well. Good luck and hopefully he will improve, if not turn your attention to what makes you happy.

  2. “He doesn’t believe talking to a therapist could ever help him” well that shit needs to stop right the fuck now. In fact, with his increasing negativity and this latest scary outburst, I think you should tell him directly that you’re putting the wedding on hold unless he gets himself into therapy within the next 3 months.

    I say this as the person in my own 10 year marriage with serious mental health issues (anxiety, depression, CPTSD and ADHD). Actively managing my mental health so that it has a minimal impact on my husband and my kids is my responsibility. Just because I’m struggling, it doesn’t give me the right to fling my emotions out at everyone around me and expect them to just deal with it because I’m having a tough time. If I stopped taking my meds, or had another spiral and refused to go back to therapy, I’d fully expect my husband to our marriage on the line unless I agreed to seek the help I needed to get better. Loving someone doesn’t mean making endless excuses for them.

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