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Jade & Ben, y.o.
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Date: December 13, 2022
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Certainly sounds like he’s using it as an excuse. I wouldn’t put up with that shit.
Might not be much you can do if the mom is fueling it. I wouldn’t doubt it, divorce makes some awful feelings pull up.
It’s one of the unfortunate things where I bet only time will help. You can try to get him to understand that it’s his one and only brother but they don’t live together or maybe even know each other really. It sounds like, In his eyes Jr and his mother were people who stole his father away.
My mother had a half sister and they were strangers up until the end.
I know that doesn’t help much but a lot of peoples actions and thoughts will stay the same until they decide to change themselves.
Also I know you keep saying Jr was never held by your brother but Ivan doesn’t remember being held. Maybe there’s a picture he can see but it isn’t a memory he has. To both Jr and Ivan they are in the same situation as far as their father goes. It sounds like maybe you treat Jr different like he’s hurt more than Ivan but they’re in the same situation.
Maybe even to Ivan it seems like his father abandoned him for Jr. these types of feelings can get very twisted up and cause a lot of hurt.
Hope someone can give you better advice.
Are they related? Do you live in Alabama? How's this family circle work exactly? If they aren't related and 2 grown single adults, then I see no problem with it. If you want to start introducing your wife as step sister or think of her as your sister, that's a personal choice and each to their own. I think that you are thinking of her as your sister is more disgusting than anything your father is doing.