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Don't be stupid. If she wants a sperm donor she should get one the legal way. No matter what she says in the eyes of the law you are legally and financially responsible for that child and she could come after you for more than just money if she changed her mind. Red flag. Don't do it. You will be ruining your own life.
this should be the person who contributed the least to the home and who has the most available time.
The most available time might be an argument to be had, but the one who contributes the least? This is a huge mistake. No one wants to feel like they have to clean your urine off the toilet, or wash the mess you leave in the sink, or fold the fifty towels you use, (in short: no one wants to feel like your maid) simply because you make more money.
There is also a matter of respect, both for you as the partner of the man she propositioned and for him and his relationship.
Even if you aren’t close in the group I assume you would have considered her a friend prior to her doing this.
BF is right that people develop crushes all the time, but when you have a crush on someone in a committed relationship it’s up to you to get over it. The most appropriate way to do that is space.
BF needs to shut her down and not be around her for a while. If she wants to apologize to each of you (you both deserve separate apologies) great but her being welcome at social gatherings hosted by you will still be decided by your level of comfort.
That’s what she risked when she did what she did
Sounds like your gf is in a committed relationship with her best friend and will prioritize her over you always. You feel like the 3rd wheel because you are the 3rd wheel in Jenna and Lara’s relationship. Given that Lara sees no problem with her constantly putting Jenna first then perhaps it is time to walk away from the person who will never prioritize time alone with you.