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  1. You can and will move forward. She is not a healthy person. And try to go to therapy for your own stress, if you don’t already.

  2. Ah, yes. Nothing says “true love” like refusing to pay her fair share and threatening to sleep with an ex if you don’t do what she wants. She wants a meal ticket. That’s why she wants you to put a baby in her. Then she has you on the hook for 18 years. If you can’t see that, you deserve her and this situation. The person you think she was never existed. She’s not going to magically start being a decent person. Most people do not have the capability to drastically change themselves. If you stay with her, you will be miserable for the rest of your life and regretting every single day that you didn’t listen to the people in this thread.

  3. It’s best to just divorce. A lot of the comments want the satisfaction that she’ll “cry and run/crawl back to you” when she’s older but the thing is. She might not, she might thing getting divorced is the best decision she’s ever made and that’s fine. Just cut your losses and keep it moving.

    Don’t be vindictive because you WILL be disappointed when she still doesn’t feel that way

  4. You should never outright ask or beg someone you don’t even know to get an abortion. Wtf is wrong with you?

  5. So you were blowing him and this add in made it extra specially good for you and he doesn’t like that?? Sorry to say, that’s selfish. You’re getting off and getting him off. He should love it.

  6. u/ArcaneAlaina, it looks like you're trying to post a throwaway submission. Your account is too young and/or your comment karma is too low.

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  7. Think about what you just said. You're already at a point where you think to yourself that it would be weird to have him around your friends because of the age gap and the fact that they'd have nothing in common yet you're the same age as your friends. If there wasn't any part of you that didn't think it was weird or abnormal to be dating this guy then you would almost certainly have no reservations about him being around your friends. I think you're already realizing what's going on.

  8. He knows he has a problem yet he won’t fix it to make your relationship better.

    This shows he doesn’t consider you or his relationship very important. He wants to use you as an extension of his mother: someone to get him awake.

    You’re not his gf, you’re his secretary.

  9. I feel like that’s the case for most people. When you have a high self esteem, you have a high sense of security and safety. I think anxiety and low self esteem definitely go hand and hand for a variety of reasons

  10. in a world where girls are pressurised from a young age to have perfect bodies, it’s really important that they see their beloved grandma, awesome mother and other women in particular, with all the curves, bulges, wrinkles, moles, scars and more – to give them a framework of what real happy women really look like.

    That is so well said and absolutely true.

  11. I'm not saying they have a good relationship. The drugs and the lack of sex would be a dealbreaker for me. But his whining about what she wears is annoying and was the subject of the post.

  12. It almost seems like you do this on purpose so he knew you would break up with him because it sounds like you wanted to break up with you but didn't have the guts to do it.

  13. Hello /u/NerdGirlRinny,

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  14. Just like he should've talked instead of going silent treatment… Like I've said repeatedly, OP should do what he wants, but if he's asking a reddit sub for advice part of him wants to stay, and everyone is focusing on “fucking other people,” that's NOT necessarily what opening a relationship means. People don't have to communicate PERFECTLY in order to deserve conversing… also we don't know what happened previously. Maybe she DID raise issues, maybe this was a last resort SOLUTION to save the relationship. IF OP wants to stay, there are OTHER ways to look at this, that's ALL I'm saying.

  15. If I had Covid I wouldn’t want to expose my baby to Covid. I suspect that once he’s recovered he won’t be mad. If he wasn’t feeling well his capacity to reason was probably affected. This would explain his reaction. I do have sympathy for him but I think you did the right thing.

    About the only thing I’d point out is that if you and he knew that there was a chance that he would pick up Covid while travelling, I would’ve discussed how you’d handle that before he travelled. So something to discuss next time he travels if there is a next time.

  16. It’s too inconvenient to divide the furniture… he’ll just continue to use and abuse her until he graduates.

  17. Okay so you’re getting pressure from your friends and family. But you haven’t said anything about actually having a conversation with your gf. Did you discuss about future goals? Does she want to get married? If she does and that’s a dealbreaker, you need to let her go. You may not want to break it off but she will if you’re just wasting her time.

  18. Thank you one of my best mates was sweet and invited me to see a movie with his other mate so I'll be out of the house, I'm doing what I can and trying to not beat myself up about it all

  19. You can’t just get full custody cuz she hurt you. If the child is yours it’s in your best interest to try and out the anger away and work on coparenting. Nothing you said here proves she’s unable to be a mother. You can be a horrible partner but great parent so none of that matters. If you have an interest with your potential Child start by letting the hatred go. A good parent lives their child more than they hate their ex.

  20. Sounds like your girlfriend sees it as “My boyfriend spent money on a gift for his ex” and so she's feeling jealous.

    It might help to talk to her and make it clear that you actually spent that money on your daughter, to enable your daughter to give a gift to her mom, because it's your role as a parent to help your daughter do life tasks she can't do on her own yet (like gifting her parents).

    If your girlfriend can understand the distinction between money spent on daughter vs money spent on ex, I think she will calm down. You didn't do anything wrong, but if you want to resolve things with your girlfriend you need to help her understand why there is nothing to be jealous of.

    You could also break up with her if you choose – some people would not be ok with having to explain something like this.

  21. There's two simple things here that would most likely help you.

    1) Give her the explanation from the start. So don't just say: “I'm not driving to work tomorrow” say “I'm not driving to work tomorrow because parking is too hard”.

    The first way of saying things seems like a lead from you to get her to ask you why. But she doesn't engage in the manner that you want her to so you get annoyed. She has no way of knowing that if you don't share your thoughts with her.

    That leads us to number 2) Tell her that this is bothering you and that's why you might seem rude or short with her when she seemingly jumps to conclusions.

    Try your best to not make it sound like it's her fault because this is something that's bothering you, and that should be the reason for you to bring it up.

  22. You’re not in a rough patch your marriage is over.

    To put it plainly he doesn’t want you but he loves knowing you still want him.

    Why are you putting the decisions in his hands? Just take back your life and file for divorce yourself.

    Do you honestly enjoy being treated this way? Is this what you’re prepared to put up with?

    Have some self respect.

  23. lol Yeah, they’re not doing it because “money is tight,” more like your friend got caught cheating or doing something he wasn’t supposed to be doing and this was their agreed upon arrangement to prevent it happening again. That being said, it is a rather private matter, so don’t confront or tease your friend about it if you want to remain friends. Don’t say anything about it, just keep it in mind and from now on don’t say anything to him over text that you wouldn’t want his wife reading.

  24. He gave you a used gift you never wanted, and got angry at your very gentle honest feedback. I suspect they were free or very cheap, and he figured he'd score points for a “fancy” gift with minimal effort. He sounds regular, run of the mill teenage boy lazy and immature.

  25. He doesn’t talk a whole lot about why he came to live here in the States, but I’m wondering if part of it is because of his parents. He seemed to get along with them well the days before this, though.

  26. The longer you wait the harder it'll get

    She sent photos of your daughter and nudes of herself to a known scammer….is this the person you want to spend your life with?

  27. It is indeed obvious that you are not wanted in their plans. Nothing wrong with reaching out to have a mature conversation about what has happened and why you have grown apart. Perhaps there is something you can address, perhaps not. No harm in asking for the frank conversation.

  28. She has a gift from a family member who loves her? She can’t have a loving family? Are you the only one allowed to love her?

  29. i’m concerned that you left out specifically how you met her. is she a student or a teacher? that obviously makes a huge difference.

  30. Not liking her style… meh, that's just an opinion.

    But that you equate this to her just being a bully means you are missing her point, and that is a red flag to many.

    She dishes back what women and minorities get in a dramatized way. The point is to make it overtly obvious what these men sound like to the women and minorities around them. It is a specific type of social commentary that is intended to be mean to make a point more obvious.

    Yes, she is playing the role of the bully because she wants you to see that this is what many women go through from the men around them. The hope is that if you see it and remember how mean it really is, maybe you won't just stand idly by the next time you hear it happening to the women around you. And, if it doesn't, maybe it will give those women the courage to fight for themselves.

    I dont enjoy her content either, but I see the lackadaisical attitude towards men's bad behavior prevalent in society and why that spawns those feelings.

  31. Who cares about her standards? He said, “what's up”, which is, by definition, a casual greeting. He's not some rich conglomerate dealing with the CEO of Google in a formal setting that he has to go “Hello, my esteemed sir. It is my pleasure to meet you.” What nonsense.

  32. Hopefully you’ve taught him something valuable for his next relationship, but it shouldn’t be with you.

  33. I mean, beer at a public bar is decently expensive. You think 5-8 bucks minimum per beer, not including tip each time.

    It definitely adds up quick. I'd probably be upset too if I decided with my partner we were going to save money by not buying beer and then they went behind my back to drink

  34. thanks for saying I'm not being toxic.. It bothers me that maybe I am the real problem. I have been asking him to avoid her girl friends that he had known for years and one of those friends he had been having an affair before we knew each other. So I'm afraid that I'll be acting and asking for too much with this tiktok things

    We're on our 2nd year this September.

  35. You want to have a baby when you can't afford a baby or a place to live. That's fucking genius.

  36. Have you thought about taking a long break from drinking? (Not being mean just wondering) it sounds like a lot of issues you mentioned stem from drinking. What does your boyfriend think about all of this? Where does he stand

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