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*HINT: it, ‘s the name I go by., y.o.
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Date: December 26, 2022
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This is the only reasoned response. Being excited about a new person that you are dating is not a red flag. OP is probably just scared to have the adult conversation that she is coming on too strong, and dismissing everything as red flags is much easier. Bet he ghosts.
I don't wanna bring a child into this world so they can grow up in a broken home because their mom is a lying cheating piece of garbage but I DO wanna try to work through this relationship because she has a lot of redeeming qualities and a lot of potential. She's young and dumb and just hasn't learned how to be a solid person yet I guess but I'm willing to help her break that cycle.
Imagine staying with a guy you are dating, who is waving red flags like a matador, who expects you to
A) give up your 400k inheritance,
B) for HIS dream house, which he
C) discussed with his MOM, disclosing OP's inheritance, and then when she dissents he
D) implies she's selfish. As if that weren't enough, he
E) expects her to cover half the bills anyways, and as the absolute goddamn watermelon on top of the cake, because this sure as shit is no small cherry, he tells her that
F) he expects her to give birth to his children and then when on maternity leave to support him, their child and household, after being pregnant and giving birth, she needs to pay out of her savings 50/50 still.
Women typically lose career points too when they have kids, not to mention labor uptick.
I'd bet money that he expects her to cover all the hospital and appointment costs associated with pregnancy and birth, too.
The only thing this toiletman possesses is the audacity. I'd have laughed in his face, packed my shit and gone if any dude ever had a brain smooth enough to suggest this arrangement, where he reaps all the benefits and does none of the work. What a loser. Throw the whole man and his equally stupid ass mom out
Yes I did. What a way to start the year.
Is there a chance the legal system would determine that I am responsible for the child? Are parental rights easy to wave?
Coupled with the fact my ex is set on not giving her up for adoption, the idea of taking this to court is concerning.
I did not ask for his money he's the one who spends it on me and my family never gets any money from him
I will never ask him to put work before me, his passions before me or anything but I would like for him to meet me halfway. There should be an equal balance of things. I can’t be the only one putting in effort
now you're reaching.
In my experience people lole this are looking for a reason to be offended. If they are already calling you a facility for liking a video game then maybe they aren't that great of a friend.
Guys, this is why men need to be stoic. Never ever let her know what you are feeling.
This guy seems like an asshole and regardless if it was cheating or not you shouldn’t be dating him.
I mean if you've already been together 4 years, I highly doubt this is something she would break up over you with. It sounds like she just has a no-beard preference and isn't afraid to say it. I don't think there's anything you can do to change her mind.
For example, does she have long hair? It would be kind of like if she shaved her head… (Assuming you don't have a thing for shaved heads on women)… Of course you'd still love her, and wouldn't break up with her over it or anything…but you'd probably just really prefer her with longer hair instead of a shaved head ? yk?
Ew you’re definitely jaded and I hope you find some help. My phone doesn’t even fucking load fast enough for me to waste the time to just advertise. But yes keep carrying your weird mentality because my story brought you anger lol
Agreed
The best thing to do is forget about it. Resort back to the odd hello or something when you pass her, maybe asking how she is if she engages you in conversation. No good will come from you bringing it back up with her, whether that is you asking her again/asking if she’s thought about it, vs asking her why not, and getting in her space to demand answers.
It sounds crooked, but projecting that it didn’t phase you and you accepted the answer is more likely for her to want to go for that coffee then any other outcome.
Stay strong, and if all else fails, take yourself out for coffee and show her your confidence without her ?
You have conflicting opinions about this while you still in a relationship with him but you’re happy without him , you both should meet one day and have a serious conversation about this , either you both figure out something or end everything and move on .
She brought it up? She's probably already opened it and you're just now finding out. Is get an std check cause wifey is very suspicious.
Block him, you're no one's back up plan
Your using the car that’s available to you. Like others have said, if she’s the kind where that matters I wouldn’t worry about losing her.
My partner HATES spills. Always has to immediately jump up in a panic and clean if something small spills and can’t relax until it’s completely done. You know what they’ve never done to me? They’ve never yelled at, swore at, or otherwise “berated” me for accidentally making a mess. Even though they feel strongly about it, they help clean and continue to treat me with respect.
It’s not normal or okay to have to walk on eggshells around your partner.
“non black” “quarter black”
No, but him being uncomfortable with it is a valid reaction as well. No shame in anything you are doing, however keeping a secret like this is unfair. Not cheating, but rather dishonest if you do not tell. Personally, I would feel a little betrayed if I was not told. But again, everyone has different feelings and boundaries. Better to be honest sooner rather than later. What if he were to find out through another source?
This is why you don't get engaged at 21. You haven't even lived yet.
I could borrow 200, from my parents and pay them back in the meantime, it was a down payment for the car. The car was new.
Because getting out of a bad situation isn’t always possible or allowed, as women know all too well. Of course I agree in principle, I just think you’re very dismissive about the realities.
You two may be on different emotional/relationship need levels, which could prove tricky to overcome. If you've talked with her and she just can't give you what you need, it might be time to reevaluate what y'all are heading toward. Good luck navigating.
Not your responsibility. Find a man with healty habits and mind.
We are not in court though. Unfortunately due to how hard those cases are to prove, many rapes go unreported and even more go unprosecuted due to insufficient evidence. It's a case of “a crime happened but you might not be able to prove it in court”, which happens often with all kinds of crimes that are lacking sufficient evidence to prove that the perpetrator is guilty.
In the case of a sexually abusive long-term relationship, which sounds like OP is in considering how they describe being constantly pressured to have sex even after they've said no, it might be easier to get court-approved evidence from text messages or recordings to prove sexual misconduct, but even then many choose not to pursue any legal action. It's an arduous process and you might get discouraged in the reporting phase even if you have text messages from the rapist admitting to the rape.
The discussion of what counts as rape/sexual assault is mostly a vehicle to validate those who are experiencing some form of sexual violence so that they can recognize it and hopefully safely exit the situation. It's so that survivors who live with trauma have the courage to seek out hotlines, organizations and other resources to begin their healing process. It's also to explicitly support those whose rapes might not be legally recognized as such, even despite actual violence taking place, because of the genders or genitalia involved (again an example being a man being raped by being forced to penetrate a woman).
Depending on the specific laws different things count as legal definition of rape, but due to the psychological nature of having your bodily & sexual autonomy violated, where laws are lacking the organizations pick up the slack to provide support for victims not recognized by the legal system.
Relationship isnt mandatory. You were capable of breaking it off when things were problematic. You were never forced to be in a relationship. It is a choice and nothing can stop you from ending it and same goes for the partner.
D u m p h I m Also you look fantastic. Seriously that guy can go fuk
Don't do it, especially if you already like each other and are close. You need a fuck buddy, someone that you use for sex. Not a friend you have sex with. It's going to end in feelings.
So the lying is a pattern? This is not a good sign of things to come in your marriage. You sound very trusting for someone who was just blown off for an Ex and her family. I wouldn't be accepting “I don't know” as an answer and I think most people would demand more from a partner.
Stop thinking you did anything wrong, with your looks or personality, your husband sounds like a selfish AH to be honest with you.
Left and gone where? To some other girl? That's the only thing people talk about leave leave leave. He never done anything for me to not trust him. I have a bad gut feeling sometimes, a feeling of unrest, like I HAVE to see him OR see WHAT he's doing, I can't stay away from him, I can't. When he went to his parents in the holidays, it took 2 days of being seperate for me to have a break down
Don't try to change her mind, just state ur position. She needs to sort it out herself.
I hate to be the one who tells you this, but you don’t get to decide that.
He has been watching that for 40+ years. He keeps getting older, the girls stay the same age.
Holy shit two sentences in and I don’t need to read any more. This guy is abusive in more than one way. You do not want to see what a lifetime of this looks like. Also since you’re still dating, this is him on his best behavior. Leave and don’t look back
It’s so hard when babies are little. As a mum, who’s breastfeeding still at night, it’s hard to step down from the ledge of the perfect exclusive breastfeeding experience, even if you’re setting the world on fire to make it so.
Don’t feel guilty sleeping in the spare room. You’re a family of three now, so if you’re not being allowed into that decision making process, which mum is doing to get through the night practically and emotionally/mentally, you absolutely should do the same.
But also do you ever put baby down for naps or does mum still feed to sleep? If so I would start trying to take that bit over and getting baby down in the nursery. If you can manage that, mum gets a bit of a break, and sees that baby can be happy in the nursery. It can lead to relaxing the grip on “this is the only way I can manage to continue to feed and sleep” as she can start seeing it in a different way, such as baby is happy in their nursery, so she’d only have to pop in and sleep better (I found baby wakes less in the nursery because they weren’t waking me during their lighter sleep moments moving around, to which I’d wake them up more trying to soothe them whilst I was half asleep, everyone got better sleep!)