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masturbation [Multi Goal]
Date: October 2, 2022
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masturbation [Multi Goal]
He def was a cheater…he says he's “changed” …of course. But the idea of him living in this new city …in a high profile building…. with a ton of good looking people…. it feels scary to me knowing his history. And then…knowing his drinking….
His mom has the ability to change. He just doesn’t care enough to talk and make that happen. It’s a shitty situation, but you letting him go could do some good. If he is able to pick her over you, you should pick you over them.
Yeah no shit and she chose to have sex with him
Let’s be honest the guy probably isn’t ready to date either. Divorced less than a year ago with small kids. OP is rebound. She is probably insecure for a reason – because she is the rebound.
Don’t stick your pen in the company ink.
Also, 10 year gap is huge. And before you fellow Redditors say, “nuh huh!” Let me back myself with some data which states that a 7 year or greater age difference has a statistical probability of 70%+ ending in divorce. That’s a huge 20% increase from regular marriages.
Two huge lessons you hopefully learned. Dude sounds like a creep so as someone else said, chuck it up to a loss and move on.
There are people who like others 100% based on their looks. And there are people who don't care what others look like. Most people are somewhere in between though, on average people are probably closer to the first than the second. So she probably is closer to the second but not completely there as that is very rare.
It's 's one thing now that she already loves you. I mean if you had an incident today with acid to the face there is a chance she'd still love you just as much. However, if you were ugly you two probably wouldn't have gotten together. Good looks help catching people's attention and give them a chance. If you were ugly she'd probably like you as the friendly fellow volunteering guy and never think twice about you.
I don't know her. But I suspect that your looks aren't as unimportant as she says now, either. While it's not what she loves you for your looks she probably is proud to have a good looking boyfriend whether she knows it/admits it or not. If you did have that acid incident she could definetely decide to be just as proud but it would be an active choice that she'd have to work for every day.
I get why it bothers you. I felt the same way when my boyfriend said he didn't care what size my boobs are. I'm proud of my boobs. To me they're perfect, probably not everyone's ideals and I don't really care about that, but TO ME they were perfect. I was proud that was a part of me that I saw absolutely no flaw in. Then he says he doesn't care at all, and doesn't say anything else good about them either. Honestly I was miffed, stupid as I knew it was, but I felt like my awsome boobs were wasted on him and wasn't valued the way they should. She basicly did the same to you, just for your whole overall level of attractiveness
Listen. 6 months later he admitted he loved my boobs and he could never go back to small again. He'd been in several long relationships, probably with women with small boobs, and convinced both them and himself that they couldn't be any better in any way. Which is commendable and all as you also point out but yeah it leaves people feel undervalued
Your girlfriend may never admit it but you can fairly safely assume she's either being inaccurate or downright wrong.
Actually, abusers often DO say things without a trigger and even when they are the one who did an offensive things, so that is incorrect. Also to add: She is just as right to communicate her feelings and it seems he blows up at literally nothing.
read my comment again. SHE DOESN’T WANT YOU TO TAKE CARE OF HER. CLEARLY! A lot of women don’t want a man to “take care of them”, because they want to be treated as EQUALS!! Why can’t you treat her as an equal and let her pay for you every once in a while, so that she feels good? Why is your pride more important than her feelings? Why do you derive pride from financial superiority??
Is it attractive to you for a woman to be financially dependent on you? If it is, go find a meek, submissive woman who needs to be taken care of. You are going to lose the woman you have now if you don’t let go of your sexism-rooted insecurity issues around her paying for you. There really is no reason for you to act this way over her trying to do something kind for you. Not all women want you to pay for everything all the time, it makes them feel insecure in their financial independence and unequal in the relationship. You need to compromise on this issue or you might lose her over it, because it’s ultimately rooted in mutual respect and equality. She is clearly not the type of woman that wants you to pay her way all the time.
Yeah, send that boy back to his mommy.
If he can't handle normal bodily functions, he's not life partner material.
Pregnancy and childbirth? Oh no, he can't be exposed to any of that female nonsense and grossness! Food poisoning or stomach flu? Oh no, his delicate sensibilities!
clutches pearls
I don’t know why he even asked, he should’ve just gone out and gotten it done behind your back. Paternity fraud is real and I know when I have kids I’m getting that test done one way or the other. Feel free to downvote but I think you’re an idiot if you don’t confirm if you are the father.
screw him. he doesn't care about you and has made HIS comfort a top priority since you first moved to FL.
Go be warm girl, screw him!
Sorry but if she's not sure if she's got anything to be afraid of, she needs a shock therapy. Sweet words ain't gonna help her see the reality. To be with an abusive man you have to ignore all the signs, ignore people in your life, ignore common sense. She needs a wake up call.
lol what? This story is TOTAL B.S. You're being played. Your wife took those pics for HIM and sent those pics to HIM. Wake up. It's a duck. Good lord how can anyone even debate for a single moment any other scenario here, were you all born yesterday?
You should show her this post. She’s a pos
For reddit standards…this post is….weird
Same
Not sure I understand what you are trying to say.
He is an AH!!
Your time is just as valuable and you will be saving lives, he just earns money. Your time will mean more to many family members of the people you save, versus his making money.
Your values do not line up anymore, he is all about the money and selfish!!
Wow that’s a lot! I’ve been very ill and forcibly isolated (no immune system and couldn’t risk Covid due to surgeries) for the last 18mths, so everything you’ve been going through my husband went through – but that’s on the back of a very strong, mostly healthy, 40 year relationship! It’s damn hard for the carer. The thing that is often forgotten is that carers need care too, but not from the sick person.
There are support groups for carers, often linked to specific conditions, so you should check that out if you haven’t already. Also, you mention that your wife is in therapy – if you’re not also getting therapy you definitely should start. This has been your entire adult life and of course you need some help to process stuff.
As for your wife, you can bet she is picking up on your feelings and that won’t be doing her any good whatsoever with just having lost a great deal of what independence she did have. Spare a thought for that when she acts angry, etc – she’s probably terrified that you’re planning to leave her – what an awful place for her mind right now!
She had gotten a bit bigger but I still perceive her as a small/medium sized dog
That's not how dog size works.
I love how the puppy jumps on the bed and cuddles next to me,
He doesn't.
because I really don't know what to do.
You either settle with the way things are now, or you train your dog to sleep in her own bed, or you end the relationship. Do not get rid of this dog because you are facing the consequences of your actions.
Again:
what could I possibly do at the moment? We don't have a house with a garden that needs taken care off. It's an 75 sqm /750 sqf city apartment. I'm already shopping on off-hours.
Kids ARE the main point, where shared labor will be really important – particularly in the younger years. In that case I can and will be more flexible/contributing more just by merit of being home more often.
As long as having kids doesn't automatically mean buying a house and 2 cars, there should not be monetary problems.
The commenter who suggested therapy came across as rude. No I’m not in treatment just because it’s very mild so i can’t justify spending money on that just yet.
I wouldn’t use condoms because that’s reduces sensation for him- it defeats the point imo
You are acting more like a jealous bf that's been cheated on rather than a friend disappointed that your friend did a trash thing. Almost everyone that's commented here sees through you. You're invested in this friendship because you're hoping that it will become romantic. And she's made it pretty clear up until now that she has no such feelings for you.
So what exactly are you looking to “forgive and forget”? People make mistakes but this is a mistake in her life. She didn't betray you, you realize that, right?
She made the mistake of thinking that you were a real friend. You made the mistake of thinking that you were on track to having a romantic relationship with her.
My general rule is, you grow or you go. If you want to continue with him, i think you have to continue with your plan to move in together
If she’s told you before then she doesn’t want you to read between the lines. You’re on here complaining and being unreasonable because you’re being asked to step up in your marriage. If you want to remain married to this woman then it’s your responsibility to step up to her level, it’s not her responsibly to accept the bare minimum because you can’t or won’t give it to her.
You’re making a lot of excuses here. The way you worded your post was very deliberate. You set it up to make her look unreasonable when you are the one not contributing to the health of your marriage. It sounds like you are in “last chance” territory. This is usually when a lot of neglectful spouses will make a half-assed effort. Honestly this doesn’t sound like the relationship for you and it most certainly doesn’t sound like the relationship for your wife. In these situations it’s frequently better for the woman to raise the child single. There’s a lot less drama and strife, and a fuck ton more personal fulfillment than living with a man who actively refuses to hear her.
Hell get another job, it’s not that serious. Fuck that old job. Y’all tripping lol
and i need help from an outside perspective because i feel that i should end this relationship
Fucking Run, she's certifiable…
That is awesome!!!
This will change your marriage forever, the risk is not worth the reward. So many things could go wrong for a one night of fun.
It will not end with just a one time thing. You’re going to have to give her a MFM with your best friend or someone she’s picked out for her upcoming birthday. Do you like that idea?
I'm 60, and I have stopped being friends with anyone who has cheated, and I still have plenty of friends. You either hang out with a lot of shitty people, or your view on life is just extremely jaded.
My ex would rip farts next to me that literally made my eyes water and drove me from the room. If you did that Y W B T A. Do they bother her that much? Maybe see a doctor then.
We had all the pictures saved in our chat which keeps it from getting deleted which is why im a little conflicted even though i get where youre coming from.
Or the spilling was “assisted” by someone or something. lol
Couples counseling, dude. You two need it.
That is insane behavior. I would divorce immediately.