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Date: November 6, 2022
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Why are you reposting this? You got plenty of answers the first time. Do you expect anyone to actually say it’s a good idea for a 22 year old to be with an old alcoholic who is abusive? There should be mods to stop people from posting the same story over and over. But here is the reality – alcoholics do not stop drinking on their own. Never, ever, so stop dreaming. Get therapy and stop asking advice from Reddit strangers. You need help otherwise you will be 30 and look 50 before he finally drinks himself to death and you’ll be free. If you can’t afford therapy, go to Al-Anon. It doesn’t anything and they can help you.
I’m not sure who you’re getting “advice” from, but anyone who’s told you “just give her a baby” is a fucking moron to keep it nice.
Big relationship steps should happen when both parties genuinely want them to and when they make sense. Clearly, having children is off the table (today). If you’re not ready, then you shouldn’t do it. It’s literally that simple.
Where I question things is the fact that you’ve been together five years and you’re not married. With no other context, that’s not an issue at all. In context, you need to tell us what’s going on in your relationship.
She spit on you and I am curious why she wasn’t charged with assault.? Your marriage is extremely toxic.
You could have gotten baby trapped. No reason to continue if you’re not ok with marrying her and/or paying her child support for 18 years. Don’t ever have sex with her again, she sound like the type of woman to go in the trash and flip the condom inside out and insert. There are plenty of other older women (if that’s your thing) to have sex with who want condoms every time.
Regardless, it's better for others who might come across to know to collect evidence and report to the police and prosecute. These kinds of advice is universal.
100% this.
So she's cheating on you?
Did you ever have a conversation about opening up your marriage? About being poly? About you not being poly?
Break up now OP, don't waste your time in this mess
It sounds like more of a fantasy than something he thought long and hard about.
Maybe his fantasies are stronger than his imagination to really understand the reality.
It was an idiotic thought. He clearly didn't think about how his question would impact you.
But walk him through it. Ask him if he has researched how many many marriages that went poly ended up in divorce. Or if he has thought about the idea that you could have a different man every night if you so chose.
Sorry this is going to sound harsh, this is how I would talk to a best friend. Dude you are her plan B. She disrespected you by dating another dude while “needing time”. Stop giving this emotional vampire your energy and just move on. Grow a spine. Cut her out of your life entirely or you deserve the damage she is gonna do.
“You really hurt me because I have very strong feelings and you totally disrespected me by getting a BF when you asked me to give you time. I will not be talking to you anymore. Have a good life.”