Yeah, that's probably the best solution I've seen so far here. I'll just go to get “something else” and wander the house for a bit to see if I can find her/them.
Indeed this story is extremely whack! That's why I'm asking reddit haha. It's very confusing.
So eventually i started losing feelings from him and developed feelings for one of my friends
Depending on how these things developped, it might already be seen as an emotional affair…..
He knows that me and my 'friend' talked and flirted when we were broken up and it made him question my loyalty.
If you already know your bf has problems with flirting…be completely honest about what happened during the break-up. Nope, it wasn't cheating, but it might be something your bf considers a dealbreaker.
It sounds like this idea of yours came at her from out of nowhere. I’m sure that’s how she feels. It’s possible to repair this, but only if she is willing, and if you put in a lot of hard work with a counselor/therapist, solo and as a couple.
Don’t be surprised if your marriage ends, however. You appear to lack empathy and seem to be placing your needs over hers. I agree with the other poster; she’s cut her emotional ties to you already.
Well well well, if it isn the consequences of his actions…
You have a really cruddy friend btw, I wouldnt sleep with the partner of ANY of my friends (or even their crushes, thats some psychopath type behavior) and yoru husband also sucks, but we've already established this.
Tell husband that youre as happy as he was when he first started with your best friend and you didnt stand in his way, so why is he standing in yours?
And then for the future… just how invested are you in your husband because while we dont know you, for a relationship to go from monogamy then open because of the worry of cheating…so you open it so it wouldnt be cheating, just… something youve allowed… which you werent comfortable with initially… thats not something id recommend to someone I cared for and maybe you should think on this. Your current friend with benefits doesnt have to be your next future long term partner, but this story doesnt need to end here for you.
Your husband wanted to change the relationship and you agreed, now that he no longer benefits and you do, he wants to undo it. Those arent the actions of someone who cares about you. Please think on this.
Honestly, I loved her ever since I first set eyes on her. I never hooked up with anyone else while we were FWB. I dont blame her for not being monogamous because I continued under those pretenses, but I truly care about her and felt guilty/couldn't go through with any other potential partners
Yeahh she did post about me. Her last post was on 29th January which she stated on about how many promises that i’ve broken. Even our pictures of many years.
No, you’re right. Maybe that’s that boundary that I need to establish with her for my own sake. You are right about the new person not being the one to blame – she doesn’t know me, and she doesn’t know that my intentions are good. Though my ex showed her texts of our convos where she was asking my advice and I stood up for the new person when my ex was overthinking something (imho), and they ended up avoiding an argument, and she was like “oh I like her!” So like, you know I’m not about to go behind your back and do something stupid. I’m just trying to hold on to an important person in my life, that’s all.
Ex felt like she was stuck between two fires and felt very overwhelmed. She said she couldn’t manage everyone’s expectations in this situation, so she was hoping for my understanding, because she couldn’t “not consider her partner.” And I totally get that. Except, there’s no guarantee that this will ever change. Because it’s not mine or her actions that impacted her outlook on our friendship. So this is why I like your advice on having a better understanding of what time we’re allocating to this “figuring this out”
Not telling her would end the friendship for sure. Don’t bring up the affair just tell her about the recording device and let her take it from there.
A “betrayal” in what way? They did nothing wrong.
Please feel free to present evidence as to how this could be perceived as a “betrayal.”
Yeah, that's probably the best solution I've seen so far here. I'll just go to get “something else” and wander the house for a bit to see if I can find her/them.
Indeed this story is extremely whack! That's why I'm asking reddit haha. It's very confusing.
It’s not her fault you got a late start. You could have easily had close to 9 partners if you were regularly dating since highschool.
Well, one, working class families are more likely to fall for this.
But, it's far more likely that they just go after whoever falls into the trap to begin with.
So eventually i started losing feelings from him and developed feelings for one of my friends
Depending on how these things developped, it might already be seen as an emotional affair…..
He knows that me and my 'friend' talked and flirted when we were broken up and it made him question my loyalty.
If you already know your bf has problems with flirting…be completely honest about what happened during the break-up. Nope, it wasn't cheating, but it might be something your bf considers a dealbreaker.
Seek therapy. This is the best way to get help that will work specifically for you.
I don't think this is the right forum for…whatever the hell all that was.
It sounds like this idea of yours came at her from out of nowhere. I’m sure that’s how she feels. It’s possible to repair this, but only if she is willing, and if you put in a lot of hard work with a counselor/therapist, solo and as a couple.
Don’t be surprised if your marriage ends, however. You appear to lack empathy and seem to be placing your needs over hers. I agree with the other poster; she’s cut her emotional ties to you already.
Well well well, if it isn the consequences of his actions…
You have a really cruddy friend btw, I wouldnt sleep with the partner of ANY of my friends (or even their crushes, thats some psychopath type behavior) and yoru husband also sucks, but we've already established this.
Tell husband that youre as happy as he was when he first started with your best friend and you didnt stand in his way, so why is he standing in yours?
And then for the future… just how invested are you in your husband because while we dont know you, for a relationship to go from monogamy then open because of the worry of cheating…so you open it so it wouldnt be cheating, just… something youve allowed… which you werent comfortable with initially… thats not something id recommend to someone I cared for and maybe you should think on this. Your current friend with benefits doesnt have to be your next future long term partner, but this story doesnt need to end here for you.
Your husband wanted to change the relationship and you agreed, now that he no longer benefits and you do, he wants to undo it. Those arent the actions of someone who cares about you. Please think on this.
Honestly, I loved her ever since I first set eyes on her. I never hooked up with anyone else while we were FWB. I dont blame her for not being monogamous because I continued under those pretenses, but I truly care about her and felt guilty/couldn't go through with any other potential partners
Yeahh she did post about me. Her last post was on 29th January which she stated on about how many promises that i’ve broken. Even our pictures of many years.
No, you’re right. Maybe that’s that boundary that I need to establish with her for my own sake. You are right about the new person not being the one to blame – she doesn’t know me, and she doesn’t know that my intentions are good. Though my ex showed her texts of our convos where she was asking my advice and I stood up for the new person when my ex was overthinking something (imho), and they ended up avoiding an argument, and she was like “oh I like her!” So like, you know I’m not about to go behind your back and do something stupid. I’m just trying to hold on to an important person in my life, that’s all.
Ex felt like she was stuck between two fires and felt very overwhelmed. She said she couldn’t manage everyone’s expectations in this situation, so she was hoping for my understanding, because she couldn’t “not consider her partner.” And I totally get that. Except, there’s no guarantee that this will ever change. Because it’s not mine or her actions that impacted her outlook on our friendship. So this is why I like your advice on having a better understanding of what time we’re allocating to this “figuring this out”