Oh come off it. I am a recovering alcoholic and probably drunk more in a month than most people would drink in their lives. You want to know how many times cheated or tried to cheat on my wife? 0, stop making excuses and just admit you’re a POS and go. Quit the pity-party, no one is buying this “I’m so sorry act”.
Honestly this reeks of some sort of social programming that made her feel that you are somehow taking advantage of her 'purity' while you yourself are 'dirty' for pre-marital relations. Don't crucify me on this, but my money is on religion and she recently having a talk with someone about the relationship.
An awful lot of abusive men don't start their abuse until their girlfriend/wife is trapped with them because of a pregnancy/children.
Abusers are extremely good at hiding that part of themselves until they feel like their partner cannot get away, and that's when they show who they really are.
Please be careful and start to make an exit plan in case this kind of behavior continues.
Well, it’s dicey behavior. The world of cheating has become much smaller because of the Internet things that we would’ve considered harmless flirtations that we would’ve never seen the person again. Now insult and cause harm to our relationships. It’s at least dicey because it pulls on the airfare fog that high that you get is like a drug it’s so like when you drink a lot or when you take drugs.
Just a little update, I spoke to her about it and how I think now of all times it’s paramount she goes forward with getting help. I also explained how I was scared for her, and that the question was terrifying. She told me that she doesn’t actually remember saying it, and is also scared because she remembers disassociating (she does this pretty often) but never to a point where she forgets what she says/does.
She’s also scared of what she said because she doesn’t recall it at all. She was hesitant to go forward with a psyche but I basically told her that she has to because there’s only so much I can tolerate, which she said “I’d never leave you” and I came back saying that everyone has their limits. I hope it gets sorted soon, I just want her to be better.
Your worth isn't determined by her. Her inability to appreciate a supportive partner and not communicate effectively is a her issue.
I'm a little concerned that you resorted to calling her derogatory names in the post, but you're obviously hurt and angry, and reasonably so.
You need to cut contact as much as possible and you need to make sure you get custody of your kiddo. Doesn't sound like mom would be able to provide much stability.
Now is a good time to set your boundaries. If she intentionally ignores them once you’ve clearly communicated them, then you know she doesn’t respect them and I would consider that an issue. Boundaries are a very important part of healthy relationships.
There’s a chance she’ll be apologetic or embarrassed or caught off guard, and that’s fair enough, maybe she made a bad decision and is willing to acknowledge it. Maybe she didn’t realize how much it would be and had already offered to pay for everyone. However, these kinds of speculations can be dangerous because you really have no way of knowing what was going through someone else’s head unless you ask them.
if you really like her, it’s worth a chat. If you don’t want to put in the effort with someone who, at best, can be thoughtless sometimes, and at worst, straight up disrespectful and entitled, then that would be your call as well.
Cheating is and forever will be worse than snooping.
Oh come off it. I am a recovering alcoholic and probably drunk more in a month than most people would drink in their lives. You want to know how many times cheated or tried to cheat on my wife? 0, stop making excuses and just admit you’re a POS and go. Quit the pity-party, no one is buying this “I’m so sorry act”.
Wait till you hit 30!
No, my comment above is meant to soothe you and go ahead and ask because you will never achieve anything if you are not ready to engage.
Sitting down and thinking will get you to a certain level but going out and doing stuff, now that is another thing all by itself.
Honestly this reeks of some sort of social programming that made her feel that you are somehow taking advantage of her 'purity' while you yourself are 'dirty' for pre-marital relations. Don't crucify me on this, but my money is on religion and she recently having a talk with someone about the relationship.
An awful lot of abusive men don't start their abuse until their girlfriend/wife is trapped with them because of a pregnancy/children.
Abusers are extremely good at hiding that part of themselves until they feel like their partner cannot get away, and that's when they show who they really are.
Please be careful and start to make an exit plan in case this kind of behavior continues.
Well, it’s dicey behavior. The world of cheating has become much smaller because of the Internet things that we would’ve considered harmless flirtations that we would’ve never seen the person again. Now insult and cause harm to our relationships. It’s at least dicey because it pulls on the airfare fog that high that you get is like a drug it’s so like when you drink a lot or when you take drugs.
Tbh, him breaking up with you sounds like a win, for you!
Yesssssssss!!!!!!!
You did the right thing. You dodged a huge bullet.
Just a little update, I spoke to her about it and how I think now of all times it’s paramount she goes forward with getting help. I also explained how I was scared for her, and that the question was terrifying. She told me that she doesn’t actually remember saying it, and is also scared because she remembers disassociating (she does this pretty often) but never to a point where she forgets what she says/does.
She’s also scared of what she said because she doesn’t recall it at all. She was hesitant to go forward with a psyche but I basically told her that she has to because there’s only so much I can tolerate, which she said “I’d never leave you” and I came back saying that everyone has their limits. I hope it gets sorted soon, I just want her to be better.
Did you not look at the meta data? I'm sure that would be telling.
Your worth isn't determined by her. Her inability to appreciate a supportive partner and not communicate effectively is a her issue.
I'm a little concerned that you resorted to calling her derogatory names in the post, but you're obviously hurt and angry, and reasonably so.
You need to cut contact as much as possible and you need to make sure you get custody of your kiddo. Doesn't sound like mom would be able to provide much stability.
Now is a good time to set your boundaries. If she intentionally ignores them once you’ve clearly communicated them, then you know she doesn’t respect them and I would consider that an issue. Boundaries are a very important part of healthy relationships.
There’s a chance she’ll be apologetic or embarrassed or caught off guard, and that’s fair enough, maybe she made a bad decision and is willing to acknowledge it. Maybe she didn’t realize how much it would be and had already offered to pay for everyone. However, these kinds of speculations can be dangerous because you really have no way of knowing what was going through someone else’s head unless you ask them.
if you really like her, it’s worth a chat. If you don’t want to put in the effort with someone who, at best, can be thoughtless sometimes, and at worst, straight up disrespectful and entitled, then that would be your call as well.
Good luck!