Date: September 23, 2022

14 thoughts on “thea-sweet

  1. It's rare that anyone gets true closure or what they want for closure. However I would keep my distance and limit interaction so you can heal and move on. Sounds like he still appreciates and misses the past but only enough to fantasize. If he wanted you he would have put In the love and work. Good luck OP you sound nice and deserve to be loved equally.

  2. And here we have the results of fuck around and find out. You lied (even though it was suppose to be a joke I guess) and now you're dealing with the consequences of that. Guess you'll be smarter about what you post from now on won't you?

  3. No, it’s not worth losing your therapist over because you certainly need her. You’re a grown adult woman who lives in the 21st-century and can’t seem to figure out that it’s not OK for somebody to put their hands on you. So please don’t lose your therapist.

  4. You don't. You broke the trust. Trust is the concrete foundation of relationships and you turned it into Swiss cheese in one selfish act. You can not cheat on someone if you're in love with them. Let her go so she can find someone worthy of her trust who won't break it for a little pussy. If you stay together its only because of the fear of change and thsts no reason to stay with someone. It will only end up breeding contempt and anger every time she can't account for a moment of your time. It will ALWAYS be in the back of her head. She won't forget. Let her go. You lost. Hope it was worth it.

  5. Look… You're young.

    You cannot stay in relationships that do not make you happy because you're afraid of letting go.

    What happened here, was that someone presented a good side of himself to 'catch' you, and then gave up on the effort once he had you.

    You and I both know that this isn't proper and its causing you more pain to be in the relationship, than it is to be out.

    Any relationship that makes you afraid to speak your emotions is not a healthy one. Relationships should encourage your voice, not silence it.

    Your partner should never be someone who is mean to you… if you have someone who treats you in that manner, you would be better off being single for a while.

    You while find someone new who cherishes everything about you. Someone who gets excited when his phone rings and its your face that shows up.

    You need a partner who loves you every minute of every day… and you won't find that here.

    I think its time you look for something better.

  6. I think the way your mum reacted makes it clear that she has a secret she doesn’t want to get out. I am sorry. It means that if you pursue this any further, shit will eventually hit the fan.

  7. My guess is that he threw the line out there without realizing. The weight is a number that you should keep an eye on for your own health, but if he likes what he sees, the he doesn’t need to know a number that might change that.

  8. First of all, stop with the proposal plan thing. That's just cruel and misleading to her because this entire topic will probably come right out of the left field for her, since you didn't communicate this at all, apparently. This was already a topic with damage potential and this put another landmine of “You lied to me about your intentions” right on top of the “we might be fundamentally incompatible, we have to sort out some really big topics” nuke. No more letting this drag on while she has no clue you're so far removed in your stance.

    There are two different issues here: 1) your inadequate communication about the topic of marriage and engagement, and her openly putting pressure onto you, and 2) your insecurity regarding marriage itself.

    Why are you so scared of divorce, exactly? If it's the money, do you have a premarital asset you want to protect? Is it the fact that you two might split up down the line, even though you vowed you wouldn't do that?

    Look, people are allowed to want or not want marriage for all sorts of reasons. But you need to know exactly WHY you don't want to marry in general. Because, especially with my last question, I can assure you that a lot of couples split up no matter whether they're married or not. Not marrying her, but staying with her for the next forty years and THEN splitting up would have basically exactly the same consequences as getting divorced, especially if you two mingle finances and responsibilities down the road by buying a house together or having children. You're just denying her her dream of being married – for seemingly the same downsides you'd have WITH a marriage.

    So, unless you plan on, say, denying her alimony by making her stay home for the children, then split from her when she's been out of a job for twelve years due to being a full time mom, there seems to be a lack of clear and rational motivation behind your choice to not want a marriage. I know that sounds drastic, but marriage is, especially for people who want children and who want to grow old and sickly together, a safety net that no party is left in the dust with nothing, no rights, no money, no next of kin status in case of death, sickness or divorce.

    You really need to think about your reasons here. If they're mostly on an emotional level due to seeing all your relatives go through it, then you should look into individual therapy to deal with this because you're letting other people's trauma hinder YOU from making a decision based on more rational grounds. Your potential marriage isn't destined to have the same outcome as the other marriages you've seen fail. And you can't trick fate if you two truly are incompatible, by deciding that you can't get divorced if you two never marry. Either you two fit or you don't, and a marriage isn't going to change your compatabilities. It's a gesture and legal protection, not a “Let's break up” spell. Sure, some people change after getting married, but you also can't outrun a secretely crappy person by trying to never introduce them into a potentially personality-changing situation.

    You can still decide that you don't want to get married, but then you'll finally be able to articulate why you don't want to. You will finally be able to talk with your fiancé about this and see if this is a deal breaker for this relationship, without feeling like you let someone else decide for you whether you two stay together or not.

    All in all, you should really talk with your girlfriend about how you feel AND about how you're not going to propose to her in Paris. The first part is because she deserves to know this info and make up her mind if she wants to stay or not if your stance remains unchanged, and the second part is so that she has no expectations about that specific situation and consequently won't get increasingly frustrated and sad over the course of your Paris trip.

    Both conversations are hard. But they need to be done. And you really, really need to figure out why you don't want to marry in general and whether you would give up the love of your life for that decision. You both are entitled to choose your stance. But if they aren't compatible, then you need to compromise or break up – there's no way around being an adult here.

  9. Slightly exhibitionistic ones…to add a kinky touch.

    (I still think this is creative writing, though!)

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