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Play With My Torso Every Goal, ⭐Control Me Jsut 69Tk⭐Ride Torso Till Cum @4 [175 tokens remaining]
Date: October 1, 2022
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TAKE HIS PASSPORT!
I mean, do all the other lawyer stuff too. But that will definitely fuck up his plans…
I agree. I’ve been examining all the angles and the only one that worries me – and maybe I should add this to the post – is that I know my ex can be angry, mean, and scary… but only after years of him getting comfortable. He was only a little violent (I know how dumb that sounds) but my main concern even though I hate this woman is… did she add me because she wants me to know what’s going on, if something bad is happening, because she knows I know what he can be like? Maybe I watch too much true crime.
There's one personality 'type', if you will, that I learned about front Malcom Gladwell's old podcast, having to do with people who are concerned/obsessed with truth, accuracy, and correctness- he labeled them 'disagreeables'. I was fascinated with this, being surrounded constantly by engineer-types myself who always seem to think they're right. The thing is, they're not just playing devils advocate for no good reason, which your bf seems to be doing, and I rarely feel judged by them if I turn out to be 'wrong', or lose an argument. Your bf thnks he's some version of this, but if he is judging you, and cannot back up what he's claiming, then he is just a mansplaining ah.
He knows you’ll always be willing to take him back no matter how bad the behaviour. Prove him wrong, you’re not just his back-up option. I couldn’t be doing with the inconsistency and instability.
we dont know who makes more money so it’s possible he will get alimony from her instead
Not saying it isn't of concern
he accused her of touching herself and then further accused her when she defended herself by saying she was “putting her fingers in her mouth”? and op said this isn’t the first time either
seems like you’re trying to play devils advocate and discredit op’s story for some reason
I just know that it’s a bit wrong but I never thought it would be cheating
The age gap isn’t an issue, but if she has kids already, would she want more if you are planning a family. You’re only 19, so be careful you’re not too involved with the kids, because if you don’t see it long term, they may suffer when it ends.
Yep. My family’s the same way. Your cousins and tíos and tías matter more than yourself. I always hated that my grandfather could go out of his way, across states sometimes, to attend one of my 200+ cousins’ graduation, weddings, etc. but he couldn’t be bothered with mine or at the very least made a huge gripe about it. It took a long time, but I don’t really talk to him or invite him to anything anymore.
Well, I dunno. Sounds like you barely have much of a relationship with him. This will probably put the nail in the coffin but maybe you wanted / needed to end that friendship anyway.
Well, I dunno. Sounds like you barely have much of a relationship with him. This will probably put the nail in the coffin but maybe you wanted / needed to end that friendship anyway.
There literally isn't anyone on this earth that loves unconditionally (and still healthily). People have their dealbreakers and their preferences, and if being child free or not wanting to be a step parent is one of them, that is completely valid. I get that this is a surprise for you, too, but to brush off her concerns as only loving you conditionally is missing the full picture. Should someone being abused let it go because they need to love their partner “unconditionally?” An extreme example but I think it gets my point across.
Express your own conflict with the situation, empathize with her, and give her space while you figure out if this kid is actually yours and if you want a relationship with them. Those two factors will be the deciders for your gf too, most likely.
If the roles were reversed, comments in this thread would be opposite. As always in this sub.
I've recently gone through something similar and trust me it gets easier every time. The first night is the hardest! I had to ignore texts from my alcoholic ex that increased in intensity, all the way up to claiming she was assaulted, then raped, and then lost and unable to find her home. (None of it was true, she never even left the house). I was in tears on the phone with a friend of mine who'd luckily had experience with an alcoholic ex and she was coaching me through it saying it would escalate and sure enough it did. I saw this pattern happen every time she drank and wanted my attention, she pick a fight and it would slowly escalate if I didn't engage.
If I didn't have that friend holding my hand on the phone constantly reminding me that I set my boundaries and breaking them now will just ruin all the hard work youve done to disengage
I totally agree! But my friend and her bf decided to wait until after the baby is born because it’s only a couple hundred.
Yes it's the incompatibility. Some couples just have different needs and it's way better to be honest with yourselves than to push through a marriage that probably won't work out.
He needs to, for his own sake, get away from the porn, anime, etc. The problem is not him as a person but the fact that he has completely removed any reality from his sex fantasies. Actual sex does not excite him at all, actual sex with you does not satisfy him and that is a him problem. He needs to detox from porn and see a therapist, possibly a sex therapist. But I would say that there is not much you can do for him.
Hold your horses. It's a marriage, not some girl trapping you to come home with false pretenses.
What I see is a big issue with communication.
If I have an expectation of a romantic night, i get all pretty, i send the kids away and I set the mood and my bf says he doesn't want to have sex of course I would feel rejected and upset. That's not manipulative, it's vulnerable. It's scary to put yourself out there in your relationship and get shut down.
On the other hand if you are tired (i also have a physical job) when you get home and you are really hungry and just want a sandwich, it is also fair.
But not because something is right or fair is has to be that black and white.
It is not OPs “job” to soothe her because he said he wanted a sandwich. But it's your partner, it's your friend, you can have some added compassion for how humanly scary to feel like your partner has lost interest in you. A big kiss, a “thank you, I appreciate after all this years you still want to surprise me with a romantic night for my birthday, you are so hot an attractive, I don't want you to feel rejected, but I am very physically tired and hungry, let's have a BLT first and if i regain the energy maybe we try again later or I'll make up to you another day, I love you”
OP doesn't have to go apologize, but some understanding that in her perspective she out effort and got rejected is important. Pride against your partner doesn't make for happy marriages. Op should go tell his wife that he understands how she felt, and he didn't mean to make her feel like that, that she is appreciated. Move on and go laugh about it while eating BLTs on the couch.
and yes i know this is super long i’m sorry i’m a rambler
People can find other people attractive regardless of whether or not they are in a commited and trusting relationship. Of course its not a good idea to rub that in your partners face… but by asking him about other women all the time you're creating a problem for yourself. Its a sign of insecurity.
Seperate from that is whether your bf is someone worthy of trust, and thats not something anyone else can help you with. There are more obvious signs of cheating to be on the look out for.
She doesn’t mention it but I bring it up sometimes because I can’t stop thinking about it. I try not to bring it up for the sake of her feelings but staying quiet doesn’t make me feel right.
See a sleep specialist and have an in lab sleep study done. Also an ENT to determine if there is a structural issue contributing to the issue. If he needs a CPAP and refuses, the Inspire implant could be an option. Also, unresolved sleep issues can cause hypertension and diabetes. This is nothing to be ignored.
Did you read everything I typed out or just like some of it?
As someone who has lost their mother, if I could go back to spend all the time in the world with her again, I would. I took so much of our relationship for granted and if there had been an option for her to live with me, I'd of jumped on it in a heartbeat in retrospect. Cherish your time with both your parents. Your dad loves you and wants to be with you because your presence brings him happiness, that's the purest form of love there is.
If there's room, maybe you can plop a manufactured house in the backyard or something so you've got your own place, because having your own privacy is important, especially with a girlfriend.
Thank you for the advice!! I wouldn't let them interfere if I'm going to stay or not in the relationship, but I can't help feeling a guilty if I do cause the relationship to end, I know I'd cause sadness to both families
Agreed, they're available at CVS/Walgreens.
To your children
It sounds as thoough he has been radicalised – sadly it seems to be happening to quite a few young men.
Personally I'd leave. He's a misogynist and thinks women are a plague – that's disgusting
Unpopular opinion here. If he really does treat you well, I think he deserves a shot at being your boyfriend. Discuss this with friends and family and see what they have to say. Those are the people who know you best and can you give you the most solid advice. The internet is going to just assume he's a shallow asshole based on very little information, when he might truly have your best interests at heart.
If your unhappy with your weight you probably want to shed some lbs for yourself anyway. If he was asking you to quit doing hard drugs, or smoking cigarettes, or many other things that have a negative effect on your health he wouldn't be villified this way. Do you want a man who can be honest with you even when it might be hard to do so? This man has demonstrated that he can be, which is something I personally value a lot in my close relationships and not all men are capable of.
What do you value in a partner? Does he have those qualities? What requirements do you have for him to be your boyfriend? If you asked him to start eating healthier and exercise with you, would he? How does he plan to support you with your weight loss goals?
From your post it sounds like you two have deep feelings for each other and you've spent a year developing a close bond. Do you want to throw that all away just because he wants you to do something you've admitted you'd like to do for yourself anyway? Yesterday on Reddit there was at least two posts coming from guys whose gfs gained a ton of weight and they were no longer attracted to them but still loved them asking how to handle the situation. That doesn't make those men assholes. You cannot control attraction, it can not be forced.
If I had a guy who I loved that loved me back and always made me feel loved and accepted I wouldn't end it cause he had the balls to tell me an uncomfotable truth. This sub is full of posts about cheating, lying, abuse, substance abuse, financial problems, sexual problems etc. Those would be dealbreakers for me. No guy or relationship is going to be perfect. That doesn't mean settle for less than you deserve, just be realistic. It's ultimately up to you if this is a dealbreaker. Talk to the people who love you about it and figure out if this guy is right for you or not. If he treats you like shit and you left that out of your post, he might actually be an asshole.
so he’s fine fucking you overweight .. but now he wants you to be his gf he wants you to lose weight ..
do you read how crazy that sounds … like fuck him off .
Wow! You're gross
So, most of the other comments here are focused on the time away from work/surprise element.
I think you should examine your view of the day as a reverse shit sandwich, with bad stuff on either end and a pleasant spa trip.
I think it’s pretty clear that when your girlfriend was crying after the spa, saying she feels insecure in your relationship and that it’s like you’re together but not— what happened at the spa was a huge factor there. She did NOT have a nice time at the spa. You said she was SOBBING at the spa. And you were still able to compartmentalize and have a refreshing, enjoyable afternoon! No wonder she feels disconnected from you.
I understand not wanting to lose out on a spa day you paid for. But if her meltdown on the way to the spa didn’t convince you that you shouldn’t continue on with your spa plans— weeping in the spa should have. If my romantic partner was sobbing while doing a mud bath or whatever, that would be the time to get out of the mud bath and go home. She wasn’t okay.
This isn’t entirely on you. It sounds like she really needs to work on her verbal communication skills. But you need to work on reading her nonverbal communication. Like sobbing. Sobbing is bad.
i thought the same.
or it was important for her to complete something at work that day.
ask why specifically she’s upset about the day
What you feel is that Essentially he is not ‘getting you’. This is one of your biggest values and biggest priorities – to have your partner not understand…. I dunno it’s more than frustrating. I also dated someone like this. I’m still unsure about the damage it caused me
Unrelated but do 30+ year olds really use snapchat? Unless they're drug dealers
My parents don't know about him because l'm from india. Being in a relationship outside marriage is still a big deal for some conservative people here. I wanted to know he's sure about me before i tell my parents about him. His parents don't know either. My sister and my cousins know and have hung out with him on several occasions. His cousins know too.
If you do the sex work & give him all the money, he pays the rent & stuff & decides if you get to go out or spend any of the extra (there is definitely extra money leftover, trust me) then he is your pimp.
This is literally exactly how you get a pimp. It’s not like the movies. They always pretend to be your boyfriend. They always need tons of money for rent & bills so you need to get a sex work job. And always, no matter how hard you work & how much you make, they will need every dime for “bills” & you’ll never see a single red cent of YOUR money. When the truth is, while you’re out working, he is buying whatever he wants. If he’s hungry, he gets a snack with your money. If he wants a cigarette, he buys some with your money. All the extra money that doesn’t go on bills is HIS “fun money” & that’s why you have to fight him to go out with you. He doesn’t wanna go out because he’s NOT your boyfriend, he’s your pimp, & he doesn’t wanna spend into his profits off of you.
I’m so sorry.
Never chase after someone, it makes you look weak, which is what see is seeing, which explains her behavior. People will do what you allow them to do. Next her and find someone better.
NTA OP.
You know your own value, you aren't manipulating anyone. Good on you!
I have a few immigrant friends who have permanent residency and never married. I guess when we started dating that may have been why I never thought of that. We had spoken about marriage before moving in together and she was fine with my views on it until this.
You're 19, he proposed after less thah 6 months and hes a cheater? Girl.. dump this guy.
It is WAY to soon to be even discussing that. That is something you do after knowing the child for like 5 years, not 11 months. You should really have only been introduced to the child recently, if the relationship were moving in a responsible direction.
Can I ask why you are so devoted to such a new relationship? Why do you feel the need to tie yourself to her this quickly? Most people are only starting to consider the long term plans at this point in a relationship.
I'm sorry you feel that way. ?
Time to be a man and tell her the truth. If you love her as you say you do, lying has no place in the relationship. You have no relationship if there is no trust. Why burden her with a lie? Tell her the truth, you have a poor prognosis but she deserves what a caring loving person offers – lying has no place there. And please, don’t blame her or play it as there’s something wrong with the relationship. This medical issue is a third party which has created the problem – not you and not her.
Sorry about your prognosis, wish you well.
I think you're just being yourself. As you've noted, she has different standards for herself and for you. That's what I meant in writing about a difference in expectations.
Are you really 29??
That’s the thing. You know she would have reacted the same if not worse if the situation was reversed.
Even if there wasn’t a kiss, the way she behaved was disrespectful.
Kinda. Yes.
If you knew it something he really wanted it would have been nice.
He actually didn't ask I just told him for no reason other than we were talking about it
He DOESN'T have friends. She feels isolated and alone and wants to make friends and spend time around other people. Her boyfriend doesn't.
Telling other people what they can or cannot do with their bodies and time is not boundary setting. It's control. Boundaries are set with your own time and body.
Ex-boyfriend. Ex. Boyfriend.
Wow. I'd be scared for your safety. If I were you I'd get out of that relationship quick
? look a free award for making my day with this one. Thank you
What difference does a few weeks make in the grand scheme of having a child?
Bro is talking about the days before he had semen or something ??
Bro you being weird about it makes you the creepy one
Your step dad should realize what he did and that he is not your father. And your mom suggesting any different is ridiculous. This is obviously just to weaponize your marriage to hurt your father.
Never get in the car with him ever again. I would take him at his word that he wants to run you off the road and kill you both.
This is extremely violent and unacceptable behaviour. You need to leave. If he threatens suicide again, call the police, this is way above your pay grade.
I believe that in cases where neither person is in a state to give informed consent, those people share equal responsibility for what they do together. I say that as a woman who has experienced SA. I know not everyone feels the same way but I think its the difference between being taken advantage of while drunk and doing something you regret while drunk.
But if he's lying and did intentionally give drugs to a woman so that he could sleep with her that is monsterous. If he took advantage of women by sleeping with them while he was able to make coherent choices and they were not, that is also monsterous. If he remembers times when women seemed uncomfortable or unenthusiastic and isn't admitting it then that is also terrible.
Theres just so many variables I can't confirm
Only you can decide that. He made a decision to move. He’s responsible for that huge dynamic change. To be clear, I’m not suggesting he did anything wrong. He took a big career opportunity which was right for his future.
He wanted you to come, but surely made his decision understanding he might lose you. Had you two ever discussed the future and specifically this as a possibility? That’s important context.
Either way, he left. Do you want to leave your family or not? Do you want to live in a climate you don’t like or not? If not, then nothing else really matters. He could objectively be the greatest person and partner ever, but if you’re miserable otherwise then it logically can’t be the right decision. Good luck.
I truly believe you are doing the right thing!
My ex-husband and I talked about not going through with the wedding within weeks of it. I wasn’t ready for the change in my life and I didn’t know how we would work out the finances. So we ended up getting married, and it mostly sucked. He cheated on me for the last time two weeks before our two year anniversary. I never should’ve gotten married. I had doubts, and I should’ve listen to my instincts.
Bring it up at a time when you to have enough available time to address the conversation. Make sure you both have some time to process your emotions before you have to do anything. If you already know the ways she prefers to cope, I would encourage you to go out of your way to set that up or help her. ie if you know, she would want to go blow off steam with girlfriends make sure her girlfriends are free. If she’s more of a drown your sorrows type maybe have her favorite wine. You can still show her you care about her as a person even if you’re calling off the wedding. Y’all are gonna be co-parents. This is the best for all involved, especially your child.
Of course you only agreed because he brought it up, it wasn’t on your radar.
Honestly, he’s pissed because – 1 he’s got someone in mind and if you agree it isn’t cheating Or – 2 he already cheated and is looking for a way to make it ok
Don’t do something you have to be convinced of doing. You will be miserable and resent him. However, at this point seems he’s made his choice. Not sure I’d put up with it. He wants an open relationship, he can have one without you.
Sorry you have to deal with this situation.
Psycho.
Ah, religion. Completely healthy bahaviour. Tbh I would break up and didn't try to help him – this is to much for me. It was ok while you gave him bj but immediately after cumming YOU are disgusting? Nah girl.
Your bf has somehow picked up the idea that “This is what women like” and does not see you as an individual. Does he actually pay attention to the things that make you “you”?
There are a lot of red flags here. The age gap is indicative of grooming, he was in a relationship when he met you (if he'll cheat for you, he'll cheat on you), and he's following a generic path of how he treats 'women'.
I'd be rethinking this relationship HARD. It has a use-by date.
You need a therapist and divorce lawyer.
He had a rough day, wtf. You and his wife are both childish.
To be honest, it’s pretty fucking weird to ask for a paternity test when you’re not even pregnant. Is there something you’re not telling us OP?
If you think something is inappropriate, then it probably is, and your point about talking to her about things you wouldn't talk to your regular friends about is important.
If a conversion is veering beyond what you would consider friendship, it is inappropriate, especially if you need to hide it from your partner.
Nah, I’m going to play your game. You keep saying your rooting for them but I can see that your jealous. If you can say it about the text he sent you, I can say it about this.
u/dojasaurus
You are right, I just don't know the best way to go about it without hurting her.
She doesn't seem aware of how she's acting, to her everything's just the same as it always. I'm not the only one either who's noticed a change in her and isn't really liking it
I've been distancing myself for my own sake but I feel to completely end the friendship is likely to result in a blow up from her side and is the last thing I need to deal with at the moment. Barely hear from her during pregnancy so she's likely to just fade away once baby's here
Thank you ❤️
Meh. If she asks a simple Yes or No question and the answer is TRULY no, there’s not a lot of ways to answer that way that WONT hurt her feelings besides to lie. He shouldn’t lie. No need to beat her over the head with it but still, shouldn’t lie.
It's not ridiculous for your partner to have been jealous of a dead guy. It's even harder than being jealous of a living person because the dead guy can't do anything wrong ever again, whereas your partner can (and will!) keep making mistakes. Dead husband is practically perfect now since he'll never make you mad over something new. Absent any other information, I'd say cut your ex-partner some slack.
You can ask, sure, but the chances of them helping to pay for an extremely costly procedure is unlikely unless they’re loaded. You should however see a therapist to help unpack and work on your insecurities.
How did you originally find her Tinder? Were you also on it?
Can attest. Married into a crazy family and now no boundaries are respected, what matters to me isn’t a priority to the family etc.
Think wisely about what family you’re marrying into, you can’t get rid of them.
Agreed. She's a grown adult. It's a common trait for abusers to blame the victims.
Well you make me mad, it's your fault I'm angry, you should know better than to say that, or do that!
You are the reason i behaved that way. Always the same vibes.
They cannot take accountability for themselves because that would mean admitting to being the problem.
Abusers are narcissistic in nature, it's always someone else's fault!
OP is 3 months in and already under the illusion of having the ability to “fix her” this behavior will definitely escelate. I wouldn't want someone like this near me nor would i date them, much less marry and willingly choose to have kids with an abusive person.
OP is choosing this!
Ask your wife to have lunch with you at work.
Call her say hey can you grab a few burgers and drink come have lunch with me
Start inviting her to lunch.
Also is tour assistant married or a boyfriend?
If she is or does tell your wife…
Spend more time with tour wife It will help her see nothings going on.
And if you have out of town stuff always bring wife.
Saves the arguments..and devorce.
He disrespected you by not discussing what items can or cannot be donated. His response & attitudes is BS and his reasoning too. Stand your ground and unbox it. I feel like there maybe other issues that need to come out but this one took your goat.
Even if it is a misunderstanding, clearly the mom is in a very weird,very problematic competition with you. This kind of stuff only gets worse as time goes on. Get out before coming here asking what you can do because your MIL has your child call her mommy and your husband backs her up.
I hate to break some news to you about the verses in greetings cards…