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Date: October 30, 2022
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I’m a 26yo male… I don’t date girls younger than 22-23. It’s hard to relate to anyone much younger than that, even though it’s not the biggest age gap.
If I would have trouble relating to you, when I’m not THAT much older than you, what do you think someone six years older than me is looking for with you?
A 30yo man has ZERO business going after a 19yo girl
Need more context.
What are these arguments about?
Let the man pee outside with good mate.
Because you won’t accept that she’s in a new relationship and doesn’t want you back!
does she actually want a phd that badly or is it just something her parents want for her (especially if it has something to do with prestige)? obviously i don’t think anyone should be discouraging her from pursuing higher education or an academic career but its kind of a big decision to be set on at 18
i’m in a phd program right now, i came straight from undergrad pretty much as quickly as you can do it without skipping years. honestly half of the grad students in my department are in relationships/dating/married, it doesn’t necessarily have to take over your whole life. and depending on the length of her programs she could be done when she’s 25-29, so if you do choose to uphold the status quo just know that it’s a long haul
You say your boyfriend gets angry and defensive whenever you bring this up, but how exactly do you bring it up and what does he say in response?
To me, his behaviour is a red flag, but only in the sense that it sounds like something might be going on for which he needs your support. Your post is very factual and to-the-point, but it doesn't offer any insight into whether you're actually trying to give him that.
I love the accountability here, but that doesn’t mean you need to be an edible arrangements guy.
It’d always the simple things that get overlooked that then cause a huge blow up. Those simple things can cause just as much damage as cheating can overtime. You can not have a solid relationship without communication!!
I can’t say wether you spoke about marriage or not, but it sounds like you don’t know either. Which leads me to guess that you didn’t. Marriage is a discussion to be had, you would know if you had truly spoken about it in a serious manner.
Did you show her your efforts behind close doors? If you collected info you should of spoken to her about it.
I doubt she is no longer in love with you, but i believe she has nothing left to give. As a paid care giver, burn out is real and happens so quickly.
Lastly, I tell women all the time men are not mind readers and you gotta spell it out for him. That is for her to realize and mature in.
Over all, give her space but communicate throughly. Express you desire for marriage with a timeline. Show an understanding of her situation and offer to help in the ways you can. You need to show you are willing to be a partner in this, even if that means facing your trauma and going to the hospital to be there as support.
ah I see. do you think I should suggest it to him? the possibility of counselling, I mean
I think it’s fair to be disappointed that she has to have a sober Bach party, that doesn’t mean she’s an alcoholic. It’s an event that’s hyped up your whole life and associated strongly with drinking. However, yes, the obvious solution, if she wants a wild and crazy bachelorette, is to just have one after the baby is born
It only gets worse after marriage
Don’t sleep with a person who won’t even give you the basic respect of using protection if you’ve asked. Your body, your choice and leave this fucking clown.
I do agree that I’m not grieving him necessarily, but more so having to start over and therefore having to wait a while to start a family even though I want to do that now. That’s the hard part for me. I will miss him as a companion but I do want a better partner. He’s sleeping in my bed at my apartment right now while I’m at work (which not gonna lie, that bothers me). I pay for our meals when we go out and I do the cooking and he doesn’t do either. But anyway I’ll talk to him about it when I get home but I don’t know how to say it. I feel bad.
It sounds like you are still in high school? Tell this guy to grow up and date someone his own age.
So you’re just going to quit? You made a baby and because you’re too much of a pussy to face up to life’s consequences you want your kid to grow up without a father?
Get therapy, call professionals and OWN YOUR SHIT.