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Date: November 2, 2022
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Just be honest, dude.
“I know I asked first, but it was only out of curiosity. I want to state it plainly, just so you know my feelings on it, that I will never want any kind of non-monogamy. It's not something I'll ever be interested in or compromise on. Maybe it seems silly that I'm taking this so serious…but I just wanted to get it out there.”
I’ll just steal this. Thank you!
Yep im highly attracted to him im not vocal about it but i do enjoy it very much
I would post on sm that you hope he gets help for his tramas. But that you are not able to help him. I bet you could easily find sources that support the psychology to share.
People love this stuff! A good chunk of the subreddit just wants everything to crash and burn.
I do appreciate your comment though and I know you're coming from a good place, I'm definitely enabling her and that has to end. Thank you!
90% of everyone I know would benefit from going to therapy. It doesn't mean there's something wrong with him. He clearly has issues of insecurity andd low self esteem and emotional instability–that should be obvious to him. You're right to ask him to see a therapist–you are his girlfriend, not his therapist, and he's putting you in an inappropriate position by continuing to use you as one.
Don't try not to make him cry. He's going to cry. That's not something you should try to avoid. People cry. Feelings get hurt. People feel insecure and sad and depressed. Welcome to life and welcome to romantic relationships.
You should also ask your own therapist how to be supportive of your boyfriend without also enabling these destructive and unhelpful behaviors in him. He needs to learn not to be so dependent on you for his own mental and emotional stability.
Personally, I would stop providing so much constant reassurance when he says things like “I'm annoying you aren't I” and “I'm the worst boyfriend ever.” I would respond to those comments from now on by saying things like, “Honey, we've talked about this. You need to speak to your therapist about these issues instead of coming to me for reassurance” RATHER than saying, “No, of course not! You're not annoying! And you're the best boyfriend ever” because when you keep reassuring him, you're training him to keep doing it.
best of luck tot you both.
Because it's gross, there's a large difference in the power dynamics and yes (to answer your question) I don't think people decades apart have a lot in common. If the younger one is very young, it looks a lot like grooming too.
it’s what he wants that in a woman I guess.
Did you ask him that? What's his reaction? That would tell you something about him.
From how you described your sister's state, she was blackout drunk. It seems to me your husband raped your sister, OP.
I know it hurts, but from the looks of it, your sister was a victim of your husband's rape. You gotta talk to her. Who knows what’s going on in her mind? She was raped and could potentially lose her sister because of it. She must be going through some dark stuff in her mind.
This is not the problem you’re making it out to be.
I had to quit drinking to at one point when I was much younger. Because I couldn’t stop and less I stopped entirely. And people around you change the people you’re used to within a year or two most people I was just looking around we’re all gone. They said we didn’t have the same things in common anymore. When I drink, I thought we were all so clever and witty and intellectual sober. When I tried to go out a couple of times they were idiots ha ha Ha, she laughs. You may not be a suited to her anymore and congratulations. By the way since I stopped drinking, I got married had a child went through the death of my husband raise the child have a bachelors degree in a masters degree and I’ve been working on my own for 25 years.
He's not a 'great guy'
A great guy wouldn't treat you like a piece of meat or completely disregard your health issues.
Nor would he accuse you of leading him on simply because you can't provide him with anal sex.
He's sounds awful. Stop trying to please him and his anal sex fetish.
Get some self respect leave.
Ugh, so hard. Because he tells me everything is fine and he makes time for me, etc. still tells me I love you. But yeah you’re right, it’s hard because then I have those doubts again and then I don’t see him and then it makes me anxiety and doubts worse when in fact we’re just in that normal part of a relationship of “early attachment” where we’re not constantly being in love and being so PDA all the time.
I do have friends and hobbies and school! It’s just really hard lol.