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Date: October 12, 2022
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WeekendPussy
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You are very welcome! Just a thought, though. I find that people who “distrust” therapists because of “previous bad experiences” are making excuses to not go on some level? Would you ever say “I have had previous bad experiences with mechanics so I mistrust all mechanics” (insert any other personal service we use here).
I don't buy it. And I agree, just hearing secondhand/third hand about this is making me mad.
Y'all I've been watching too much hbo…
Op, the only advice I have is a general one; never beg for someone's time. If they regularly make excuses to exclude you, there's your answer. You don't need to overthink it or keep trying, they simply don't want you around and they're making it clear. Now give the same energy back.
Go low contact and stop inviting them period.
To add, relationships this co-dependent are deeply unhealthy and their blow is up is always inevitable. Just stay back and have fun watching it implode on its own.
I think most people would want to know about this situation.
I would maybe point out to the girl in his class that he has a GF in someway.
Like what did you and [gf's name] get up to this weekend? In front of her.
If you're going to approach the gf, you need evidence to back it up.
Or even a simple inquiry like creating an anonymous account and ask her “Have you ever heard of [girls name] from your boyfriend? I saw them kissing and it confused me because I thought he was in a relationship with you.”
They are all very close friends though, and I just assumed they would either leave on their own or just crash in the living room. Its not a new thing.
I guess after talking though it – i felt like we both made mistakes.
After talking though it – i felt like it was a mistake on both ends. boundaries, saying it wasn't okay etc. en he's sick he likes to be alone, and when I'm sick – I like to be cared for.
He also eventually spoke to the woman and talked about how it was acceptable, to set up boundaries with her but yes, they are ultimately still friends.
An apology isn’t enough. Do not get into your car with him again.
My husband did similar things when he was younger. I eventually said I was going to leave him if he didn’t get therapy. He got some therapy and improved somewhat. I wish I had had the courage to leave at the time, however. I’m traumatised, permanently anxious and have low self esteem because I didn’t put my life and my family first.
Don’t be like me.