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Wee my Dears, #lush ON – make me moan with my toy, you have the control of my wet pussy || [183 tokens remaining]
Date: November 23, 2022
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Ahhh yes, definitely OP should keep records of everything she found! Good call!
In fact, she should keep multiple copies of everything in different places just in case he finds it somewhere and tries to destroy the evidence.
DO NOT, take anything from him NOR agree to meet him anywhere or invite him to your house!
He is clearly obsessed with you and will mostly likely harm you if you willingly come in contact with him.
Block him, report him, and tell EVERYONE, including your job about him.
i love you op. not much anyone can say will make things feel or be better. but just know we are all with you even offline in supporting you!
I think he's setting you up for future encounters, I mean you already did it before why stop when she and him are together?
Once a cheater, always a cheater. Dump him unless you're happy being cheated on
This is a huge red flag and creepy as all fuck. Please leave. Behavior like this only escalates. I know this might sound dramatic, but it’s not that this is the type of dude who will start doing things like tracking your car, randomly showing up at your work, going through your phone, demanding access to all social media accounts, etc.
I literally go to therapy 2x a week..
I've been there, and I understand how it can feel. I think watching it together can make it worse, so it's better to work on your issues towards his ex first. I know what helped for me was just stopping the thoughts, it sounds obvious but just saying “nope, skip that thought” in your head helps a lot and gets you in the habit of not staying on these bad thoughts. Not vocalising them out loud to your partner, just saying “I'm having a bad thought” and leaving it at that helps feel like it's been talked about and move on quicker. I think something that might get me crucified though is that retroactive jealousy also stems from your partner maybe not showing commitment enough, or discussing his past with you too much. Asking him to understand this could be beneficial. It's his right to leave if it's too much, but trust me, if you're both willing, you can move past this together
You are pathetic.
He was close friends with someone he slept with before we met. He wanted us to be friends but was verrry shady towards me, it was clear to me that she still had feelings for her. I voiced that to him, he apologized and cut her off immediately.
This is lame. When I got my degree I could have cared less if anyone “watched me”. He’s being selfish. He wants her to miss a super memorable time with her friends to sit in a pen auditorium with strangers for hours to see him on stage for 5 seconds.
Dude, see if u can go to the concert with her instead of graduation. Guarantee it'll be more fun?
But actually tho, don't be a dick about this unless you otherwise feel like she doesn't care.
They don't need permissions but I wouldn't be friends with someone who did this.
You can't control him but you can control who you're friends with and your boundaries.
Grew up as one as well before leaving. He isn’t even allowed to date her, like forget marrying. There is no way that was his intention unless he thought he could secretly convert her and keep their relationship quiet. Or unless he wanted to be in trouble with the elders. This excludes anything physical they’ve done together. If it came out he would be disfellowshipped (basically excommunicated).
My partner and I don’t spend one and one time hanging out with people of the opposite sex, but it’s not a ‘rule’ – it’s just not a position we’d ever find ourselves in, being in our late twenties and in a long term relationship.
I have great work friends that are men. I’ll spend 12 hours alone with them at work, and I’d certainly hangout with them at a staff event, but it would feel inappropriate for me to just go hangout at their house alone with them.
A five year age gap isn't necessarily that big a deal.
A 5 year age gap where one party was a teenager and the other was of the age to be an established adult when it began is a red flag. A red flag isn't “this relationship is automatically unhealthy”, it's just that it's a good idea to be maybe a little more on the look out for toxic / controlling behaviors.
This is probably where your friends are coming from – they're a little more on the alert, and yes, this is a rule that comes across as controlling, even if it's mutual. Doesn't want to consider therapy for clear past issues, also concerning. You saying you put your partner and his feelings above everything, quite concerning, I really hope that was exaggerated.
I'm not saying get out, but I am saying you guys need some serious conversations and preferably some counseling about how these insecurities are going to be handled going forward.
Thank you for the advice! I will try to reframe in my mind. I do think he’s a wonderful, lovely person so far. I am going to keep trying to tie my focus onto that.
You guys were FWB for years, never having the conversation about being in a relationship and being exclusive? Let me know if I’m getting that wrong…. Honey after three years, I’m sorry to tell you this, he doesn’t want more with you.
If he wanted to be with you, he would be with you. It’s that simple. And it sounds like you’ll never be his first choice. You deserve someone who wants you as much as you want them. Stop stalking socials, don’t respond, it really sounds like he’s using you. It’s hard, and I know this will sound cliche, but… take a break. Be with friends, family, work, find and enjoy hobbies. Distraction is good. You’ll overcome this eventually.
Thank you, this is good advice! I kind of I already do this, but maybe not in a polite way, I just 100% ignore it. For example:
We were watching a movie where this woman was pretty toned (upper body) and they were commenting on it. My BF said that I was more toned than she was, and I said that I agreed. John said that my traps were better. I didn't acknowledge what he said, so he said it again, and I (again) didn't respond. But I'm not sure if that was him flirting or just contributing to the conversation.
She likes women. At least now you know
Thanks for asking. I'm still in shock, as we've been married for almost 7 years. They tested me and found nothing. No clue as to how the substances were administered
Yes. Not because she thought you were gay but because she laughed about it behind your back with her friends. Not cool.
Bro, c'mon…
Sounds like she was implying that if you came over things would get physical, but then realized she said it out loud
“No.”
I'm sorry for you OP. She cheated on you out of curiosity, with someone else in a relationship. That is beyond disgusting and breaks so many moral boundaries. Personally? I'd be done with her. She not only cheated on you, but she also gave you an STD in the process because she didn't use protection doing it, which is just so disgusting. Not to mention she literally only cheated out of curiosity. What happens if she is curious about being men from different races? What happens if she is curious about being in a gangbang?
I don't see how I would ever be able to trust her after she cheated like that. And not only did she cheat, but she knew where it happened with just one other person, and lied right to your face about it. If there is ever a time to come clean about cheating, it is when you just gave your partner a fucking STD.
She endanger your health, and she clearly does not truly love or respect you if she did all this with a straight face.
Next time she says “why is it so hot?” say something like “I was also wondering why it's so hot. Maybe i should check the thermostat in case it's accidentally broken and letting out more heat than we meant it to?” therefore you are validating the mother whilst not insinuating she's done anything wrong (because she hasn't, she's just older and less aware of certain things).
No I’m not. What is ego boosting about having friends that you have to baby through social interactions?
I have other people in my life I would rather spend the time with who I can’t have the time to spend with because I’m using that time on Anita and Cat. Who both work with me which is how I know them.
I do feel like a bit of an asshole dumping people if someone ‘better’ comes along though. I think that’s why I’m in this situation.
For the love of god do not take this moron's advice. Jesus christ.
Finding out the person that you love is allergic to the best friend/child/dog that he loves is very devastating….the first thing that will come to mind is choosing between the two. Please reassure him that you are not making him choose and that you will speak to the doctor to get medications to deal with this. Some adjustments will have to be made if you both live together…like bathing and brushing dog more. Cleaning and vacuuming all the time…and having the dog in a designated area and not in the bed. I'm sure he is thinking about all of this and is heartbreaking for him.
If the coworker was a man would you feel differently? The fact that she’s a therapist makes it seem practical to do. Also I assume he was honest with you and that’s why you know about it. I think you need to discuss your mistrust (and possible paranoia) in your next couple’s therapy session. Don’t search for additional things to worry about. Focus on the underlying reason why you two are in therapy in the first place.
Did you buy the phone outright so that the bill is purely the data and airtime? If so tell her to jog on.
If however the phone was purchased on a contract and she is now paying for her “gift” from you maybe the best option would be to return the ps5 and take the phone back as she would be out the cost of the whole ps5 but you would only have paid for a couple of phone installments? This might be the nice thing to do if this is the circumstances but you certainly don’t owe her this as the ps5 was a gift… if she is now stuck paying for her phone itself I can sort of see where she is coming from if I tilt my head and squint a bit….
Call him out calmly and specifically like you already have. Do not accept his half assed requests for stuff from you, make sure it’s specific and if not make sure to add a rider to anything along the lines of “I’ve done the best I can with the information given.”
He’s trying to force you to have a medical procedure that you don’t want. Sounds like y’all have some major issues. Marriage counseling is in order here if you want to save marriage. This would be a deal breaker for me.
I read about NRE, and being a bit of a NRE chaser myself, I’m quite often thinking about how to make it more fulfilling at the moment. But my partner doesn’t really seem to have the emotional or erotic intelligence to do anything about it.. it’s as if he just accepts he will be more attracted to new people than me.
If you get hit on “somewhat regularly” upgrade yourself from “fairly cute” to “smoking hot”. Just throwing this out there, but why not give him a pass? Chances are remote that he is going to use it, and if he does maybe you get one down the road. If thats not acceptable then you at least know what he is capable of. The bigger problem here is this overpowering need for an alt girl that pushes him to say something so hurtful to you. Like he could have just not said anything. Its not like he will go through with it. I think it may have been an attempt to manipulate you into getting some more work done. I worry that you will cave to this need eventually and start going in for more body mod than you are comfortable with. I also worry about trust, he came at you with a hammer blow of a statement and then he cries his way through it.
Some good proactive info. But, it's a state crime.
This isn’t a mutually respectful and supportive relationship.
Just leave him.
10 bucks say they've been married for 10 years, dating for 12.
How would you feel if a 78 year old man married a 60 year old woman? Would you feel like she was taken advantage of?
Find a better dude
Also apparently her old man was a fantastic father. Guess she got tired of his dick or something. Apparently he begged her to stay and she left. Took custody of the child through the courts. Ruined him and their family without stating a reason cause it obviously wasn't because he was a shitty human or anything. Cause you know he's a great father! This has to be rage bait. If not she's the exact reason a lot of men are afraid to marry these days. What a shit human being. Throwing daughter away after winning her in court and shit. Why even fight for her? Already took her dad away, put her through a divorce, God only knows the at home shit she's been doing as a parent probably sick of her child already anyways. Exposing her to the new man who doesn't even want to live with her or take on the father role she kicked out of her daughters life in the first place. Then threw her to the way side. Putting her through more trauma and the hardships of moving and changing schools. Again, has to be rage bait.
Oof. That's not good at all. Just so I don't jump to conclusions, do you see other things he's forgetting too and think that this may be a health related issue where he needs to see a doctor?
Right, of course. But does it sounds like he's the sort of guy who is focused on her pleasure?
Well so she is kind of leech.
You stepped into role of her parents with taking care of her so she could sit at home and do nothing. And she doesn't have initiative or grattidue to at least keep house clean in which she lives rent free.
My bro.
There are girls as ambitious as you, with their own purpose and goals, passions etc. Some of them will happily contribute to shared costs of life.
Ask yourself what are you getting from this relationship.
If you want to have kids imagine if this girl will handle this.
From what you wrote she is lazy person, doing bare minium, living from day to day and that's it.
I hope she is at least hot.
With all gentleness, you don't think he'll do the same to you down the line? Cheating isn't necessarily a sign of unhappiness; some people are opportunistic and amoral. That's the kind of guy you love. So sorry
What should I do or say when I meet him?
Say hi and then keep your mouth shut.
I think I really messed up when I missed his birthday dinner because I was with Max. I told him that work held me up.
Theres no thinking about it. You messed up! What you did is disgusting. Your a terrible mother!
You two probably need to break up.
He's pressuring you for sex and that's just not OK.
He wants a normal and healthy sex life, and you want to wait for marriage, which really just isn't a modern healthy attitude.
Question:
How did C know you were at a bar? This is weird if you talked about it at work and he took it upon himself to follow along to throw you a dirty look……..
My advice is to not quit a job before you have another lined up and to not live with your parents.
Up to you man. There’s nothing wrong with that if all three of you can keep it copasetic.
Agreed. It might also help to define your reaction to those boundaries being broken. Not as an ultimatum, but as a simple statement of fact. This is not something you're willing to tolerate in a relationship and breaking that boundary will have a consequence. The follow through is important. Best of luck!
LOL, imagine the comments if it were a 19f talking about a 32M telling her she's mature and makes him smile and want them to be FWB. The double standard on this sub it's hilarious
Yes, it's a lie.
It's also much worse than a ONS. He purchased the use of a woman's body to use her as a sex toy. Hopefully she was one of the TINY MINORITY of women who completely willing engage in prostitution out of enjoyment, instead of HAVING to do it because of abuse, addiction, disability, trafficking, trauma, extreme poverty etc etc etc (seems pretty fucking unlikely, doesn't it). Consent cannot be purchased and no human beings body should be for sale. It's abhorrent and shameful that this is still happening in modern society.
Just because two people are uncontrollably insecure, doesn't mean they are right
Especially since he's known her since she was 17…
So those friends would invite you separately from her?
Hopefully, that is all there is to it, but the current status quo she's got you in isn't fair to you and is pretty strange overall.
Sorry ?
He’s getting it elsewhere and is keeping you on his hook for whatever reason. Get started with moving on.
Not a cheater. I happen to not see the world in black and white.
Come on. He’s lying and it’s not even a little believable. He didn’t set up an account full of nude girls for your benefit. He just didn’t. He’s a liar. Move on.
Your picker is off sweetie. Any chemistry you felt should have instantly vanished on that first date and absolutely by the 2nd. This means you're attracted to dysfunction, and I implore you to take your own advice to him and seek counseling. Put a halt on dating bc at this rate you're just going to end up with another dysfunctional, manipulative, mess of a potential partner because your sense of normal and radar for red flags are incredibly off.
Bro what is wrong with you? People like you are just as much to blame as cheaters when it comes to dating culture. She has a boyfriend, as soon as you found that out you should’ve walked away, atleast from the idea of going out with her. Scumbag.
He was extremely drunk.
Whaaaat im on Boo too lets be friends, meetup or not
Ikr! Well, she barely knows him, only met recently, and is staying in his place in another country. Creepy! I’d be getting the heck out of there. Or try a few times waking up with a small startled shreik and saying “what was that noise omg is it burglars”? lol… But basically it’s creepy – they don’t even know each other yet & he’s behaving like this – ugh.
I have never needed to make a call when my phone was dead because I'm not 13 and incapable of keeping my devices ready to work.
She knew how you felt about tattoos because you had spoken about it before. She specifically didn't tell you about this one until it had already started. She knew exactly what she was doing. Basically, saying, “it is what it is, deal with it”. That manipulative. It's essentially an ultimatum.
It's her body so she can do whatever she wants to it. The way she did it, however, is disrespectful. Now you get to decide if you can live with it or if you want to break up.
So your decision. Good luck.