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Deep Throat / Roll the dice! / Have you already added me to favorites? / Snapchat Discount only this week [66 tokens remaining]
Date: October 16, 2022
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9K 
but i always assumed
There's your first mistake.
Ask him how he perceives of your relationship. Then tell him how you feel about it.
Pretty simple.
see my edit asshole
My first thought when I read the post is that she probably didn’t do or at least wasn’t as bad as he said and he’s just saying she did so he can treat her badly. He’s not a good dude.
why do people only ask this when it’s a younger man with an older woman?
Wow, that sounds super scary. But I have to wonder why you stayed ans kept dating him after seeing how angry he gets over minor things.
Don't get me wrong being on time means a lot to me and I have a very hard time dealing with people who are habitually late. But I have never flipped out or punched holes in walls because of it.
He does have anger management problems and I do worry that he will one day punch you rather than the wall.
YTA stop being willfully ignorant and stop gaslighting ur wife
Do bring her to a session with your therapist where the three of you can discuss this. The therapist can help you understand where your wife is coming from and can help your wife understand how her approach is harmful, selfish and hindering your progress. Hopefully she can help the two of you reach a better level of communication on this topic.
I’d leave to be honest because he lied about it and didn’t give you the proper information to make an informed decision about whether to date him. A key part of becoming non-abusive is taking accountability and he failed to do that by lying to you (his actions match that of an abuser rather than someone who’s changed). This also suggests he’s done no work to unpick his thought patterns and behaviours that enabled him to abusive in the first place, as all resources geared towards stopping abuse state the abuser should own up to their actions so either he’s not seeking out resources on how to stop abusing or won’t follow the advice if it doesn’t benefit him.
To even consider staying I’d want to see concrete examples of things he’s done to change, i.e. has he committed to regular therapy? Or taken anger management classes? Has he read books/ blogs that help unpack abusive behaviours, and is doing so on an ongoing basis? I’d also want to know their titles, what he learned from them and insight that gave him into his own behaviour? You should ask how he knows he won’t do it again and if his answer is something like he’s changed and he loves you then leave as he’s not done the work to be a safe person. I bet he wasn’t abusing his ex in the first year of their relationship either, but that didn’t mean she was safe. If he’s made no effort then you’re relying on him being magically better and that’s a huge gamble to take with your safety. And, tbh, even if he has taken steps you may decide that you don’t want to be in a relationship with someone you’ll feel nervous with whenever you get into a disagreement and that’s ok too. Personally I would leave.
How dare your husband feels like he's not right when you said he's not enough for your pleasure 8D ? /s
Girl I get why you did it, a lot of people have multiple fantasy, but honestly you shouldn't do it with your spouse unless they are 100% on the same bord. And even not bring it at all.
Get a divorce lawyer.