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Annita , ♡https://fans.ly/r/Careful_I_bite follow, 19 y.o.
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Date: October 7, 2022
You literally did NOT promise him sex or mislead him- he did that to himself. You're sick. The fact he feels so entitled to sex whenever he wants it is disgusting. You 100% need to get out of this relationship. His behavior is selfish and abusive!
He brushed her off when she wanted to date him. TAKE THE HINT, DONT GRILL HIM TO FIND OUT WHY.
Plain and simple, OP thinks she's hot shit, but all she is is a hot mess.
Wish you the best, but you gotta act like it. If you want to be in a better place you must be able to let go of some things. Hurts like hell, I know myself.
She might be treating you better now so she can relieve some of her guilty feelings (my guess) and later when she feels like she “paid for her mistakes” she will fool you again.
Take care.
Tell your wife and avoid this friend that thought it was a good idea to start an affair and set you up. Obviously, their moral compass is shit.
Then let your wife know that it's time to file for a divorce if thats where this is truly headed.
Ngl, part of me wants you to have one more convo with him to find out how he could possibly spin this and justify his actions. But yeah, no point talking to him again. About the only thing in his favour is he was at least honest and told you. But that doesn’t absolve him. Sorry he’s an idiot. Hope you can find someone who isn’t.
It depends on when he first told her he won’t have kids unless she stays at home. If this is the first time he’s expressed this requirement, then yeah it’s manipulative. You don’t get engaged to someone then tell them they need to change their life plans if they want to have kids with you. It’s fine to expect one parent to stay home, but that should be communicated pretty early on.
Not saying that’s what’s happening here for certain, but we need more info. When did they start talking about kids? And when did he first say she needs to stay at home to have them?
Shocker
They fucked and you are a complete moron if you believe her.
It's not gaslighting, but it's being an AH, at least I think so. She may have been “joking”, but it's crossing a line when it's your mom and she's talking like that. It's just-gross.
You have power in the relationship. Never forget that. Don't be scared of someone who is supposed to love and respect you.
Also every time we have chatted since the debacle, she has just kept getting mad at me and being like “how could you do that” and “I don’t know if I can be with someone that does something like that” which is very valid. I’ve waited for years for a chance with her and finally have it.
A couple of thoughts…but first, a caveat: I’m from the US and work a salaried job and have always been in an on call role where if something goes sideways, I need to step in.
To me, 60 hours a week of being unavailable isn’t that crazy. Even if I’m only working 40 hours a week, I usually spend another 20 on my hobbies and volunteer work. That has still always left time for me to see my partner 1-2 times a week when we didn’t live together. And now that we live together, we usually at least have dinner together during the week and have a date night on Friday.
On the weekends, I’m pretty busy with errands, and cleaning, and hobbies/volunteer work so unless we have made specific plans together, we may not hang out much til the evening. He usually does a guys weekend once a month for his hobby as well.
As for texting, I don’t even have notifications turned on. When I’m working, I am not texting. It’s distracting. My friends and family and partner know that if they need an immediate response, they need to call. To me, text us for “on my way” or “give me a call when you have a min” not for major conversations. Same for my partner. When he’s at work, he has his hands literally full and is working with machinery and tools. I don’t want to be distracting him for basic chit chat,
So…I don’t know from your OP if he’s not making any time for you or if your expectations are out of line. Most healthy partnered adults I know aren’t spending the same amount of time with their person than they could have or would have in high school or college where they had less responsibilities.
As for the toxic boss or whatever…he isn’t going to make any inroads there. He can either keep doing what he’s doing or find a job elsewhere with better work/life balance. But it’s pretty rare to be able to renegotiate the expectations and stay in the same role.
Maybe this just isn’t a good fit for you and you need to find someone who is less motivated from a career standpoint and works set hours? That’s what my partner does. He punches in at 6:55am and punches out at 3:30pm. He never has to take a work call after hours or on the weekend. There’s also no room for growth and he makes 1/4 of what I do. He’s just not motivated to climb any career ladder and is happy as it is. Which is great for him! No issues there! But it wouldn’t work for me. That’s not how I’m built.
The purpose of dating is to see if you’re a good fit and now that you’re in the workforce with less flexibility, it sounds like maybe this isn’t a good fit.
Of course you have all those feelings, and more. And you are absolutely entitled to them. But remember, your husband may have conflicting emotions, too, like embarrassment, guilt/shame, as well as anger for being called out by you. And he is entitled to those feelings. That's why every one says therapy, therapy, therapy. Feelings aren't good or bad, only behaviors are.
Yup! Just be honest and say you don't really know cuz you havrn't tried a lot of stuff!
fuck off troll
Have you been with him for a while and has he acted predatory before?
If not, I think he just made a really, really idiotic joke.
Please keep your traditional Christian values and live a wonderful and fun life. Those are not mutually exclusive as some people seem to think. And equality and respect are the cornerstones to a great relationship. You'll certainly find that if you keep looking for it, and make it clear right from the beginning that you need that as a boundary and condition for a relationship leading to marriage.
You current bf does seem to think that being a man means controlling you. I think he may be the type to use that past as a means of control over you. And he may look for other things and ways to control you as well. Love = respect. Please look for a guy who respects you.
Why?
Why?
Also if you’re 30 and you want kids you should’ve date someone who doesn’t or isn’t sure.