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Anie, 28 y.o.
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Date: November 6, 2022
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I feel like her baby might have been his?
This is your boundary. Nothing wrong with that. Some guys would love that, some hate it. It's okay to be either one of those. But don't stay with her if this is your boundary.
Get evidence. Get a lawyer and talk to your lawyer. You’re on your way to being divorced if you’re intelligent.
Everything has been going a lot better since that situation but my friends still think I should break up wit her I don't blame then but they just don't see it from my perspective
Absolutely this. When I first started dating my now husband he told me to ‘f#ck off’ during an argument. When we sobered up I told him if he ever spoke to me like that again we were done, no more chances, no excuses, this is it. He hasn’t and we have been together nearly 20 years, subsequently we’ve never used empty threats with ending the relationship either. When I’ve said these things are deal breakers for me, I’ve meant it, and he knows it and has a choice on how he wants to live his life too.
It is ok to set boundaries and stick by them.
You’re right. She’s been chasing me for two months now but as soon as I took serious steps she became nervous. She told mutual friends about how much she adores me and what not. How she wants us to be together. She is not at all capable of communicating these things to me at all however.
I really like this girl, I liked her as a friend and I enjoyed spending time with her. That’s why it concerned me when she started acting like that. Showing romantic interest in me and what not. I was aware of her emotional immaturity and that’s why I kept my distance but she kept coming after me.
Forget it, dude. You gave her a gift.
Sounds like you go to a lot of parties. Does your husband ever go to any of these parties with you?
It sure doesn't sound like you're ashamed of that relationship/person. You're playing with fire.
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Maybe because of the time invested, there may be a reason for you to work it out. But you may never trust him again, and you won’t know until you’re in the journey. So I would go to couples counseling and let him know if it ever happens again that you’re gone and if he does it, you’re gone, don’t just threaten it.
Not sure what the problem is. You had sex. You told her you want to have sex with her again. She told you she enjoyed it but probably doesn’t want to do it again. If i were you, I’d respond. “No problem. I totally understand. I had a really good time that night, so just let me know if you decide you’d like to do that again.” And then never bring it up again unless she brings it up first.
She's your boyfriend's girlfriend, sorry. Girlfriends don't sit in the backseat and get shushed by other women.
Don't pay the ticket, and better life advice: don't go somewhere you can't afford to travel yourself. You never know when the crazy lady or shit boyfriend will leave you on the side of the road. You need to be able to get back home.
I mean if you think he will not come, and if he does he won’t be an issue I’d just invite and see what happens if you don’t want any hurt feelings.
That doesn’t make much sense. There’s rent, utilities, internet, any tv/streaming services and food. All of those things should be split if both of you are using them. Perhaps you can each get your own food, but then you’d both be cooking for only yourselves each night.
And then you both should be cleaning up after yourselves, but sometimes that means cleaning up each other’s little messes.
I think her expectations are completely unrealistic. But I wonder if she’s acting like this to try to get you to propose?
If you’re not ready to propose, that’s totally understandable and reasonable. However, if you want to remain in the relationship, consider taking her to lunch or out for coffee to really discuss what she’s offering so little and if she’s ultimately hoping for a proposal or if she’s concerned about something else. See if you can get her to open up. Hopefully that will help you to understand this better so then you can decide the next course of action.
Good luck!
I’m concerned for your own safety as well
You're overthinking it. From what you have said, he never made any sexual advances to you, nor did he attempt to put any particular emotional pressure on you. Sometimes people just like each other, irrespective of age – I like my accountant, even though he's ancient, and I think of him as a good friend despite the age gap. It absolutely isn't wrong to be friends with people who are different ages, so long as there's no inappropriate behaviour, and that doesn't seem to be the case here.
Years ago, my father was a confidante to a neighbour's daughter. She was 11 or 12 or 13, and he was well into his 40s. They just got on well together – she was interested in gardening and so was he – and as time went by he became something of a father figure to her – her favorite “uncle”. He was a guest of honour at her wedding, at the top table with her close family and friends. Not every adult male is full of inappropriate interests in teenagers. Although it's not fashionable to say it, most adults are generally well-disposed to people of all ages, and inappropriate thoughts and actions are much rarer than the news headlines (or Redditors) would have you believe.
BTW, as for your crush, he probably knew, but was smart enough not to say anything. Part of my job is teaching, and girls having crushes on me comes with the territory. Like most teachers, I ignore it. The same is true, I'm sure, for most other people: most people don't want to take advantage of teenage girls, so we just don't.
That's admitting it's based in your own insecurities. Both of you should build each other up and grow together and that's what healthy couples do and how they lat, or you can try to control him again and he's probably going to try to lie again and everyone is going to be frustrated and resentful. Ideally you should work on your insecurities.
Your bf is a child
Your bf is a child
You feel the way you feel for good reason. Your gut is telling you that you aren’t happy in this marriage or with this person. Don’t try to talk yourself into staying in a bad situation. You aren’t happy. You don’t trust him. He’s controlling and dismissive. It’s great that he’s nice sometimes, but so what? Even serial killers have good days. That doesn’t cancel out his bad behavior or change the way you feel about this marriage. Get out. While you’re still young. Don’t waste another precious minute of your life deliberately staying in a situation that makes you so unhappy.
What do you mean?
Uhhh why won’t he apologize!? Lmfaoooo you write all that and then ask the most inconsequential question. No sane, real human would go through any of that and then ask “jolly gee wiz why won’t he apologize?!”
Early in our relationship, we were making out on the couch when suddenly my ex stopped, jumped up, and ran to the bathroom. I sat there for a moment wondering what was going on when she came walking back in carrying a damp towel. She said, you might want to use this to clean up.
Turns out she had gotten a spontaneous nosebleed and bled all over my face. She was absolutely horrified when I started laughing. But I couldn’t help it because when I was a teenager, I got a spontaneous nosebleed at a slumber party. It culminated in me bleeding on a game people were playing, and I was mercilessly bullied about it until I moved away several years later. The incident with my ex brought it all back so of course I had to share the story. It was quite the bonding moment lol
hysterectomy wont work unless its done in conjunction with oophorectomy which itself carries a huge risk of a different type of pain. another reason is that my doctor says at some point the pain can be very minimal, so hysterectomy is a rush now. its honestly a big risky choice and i dont think i am mature enough to decide
Totally different. Thoughts are not actions. A better analogy would be how all girls get together and talk about intimate details regarding their interactions with men, despite the fact that it would be much better if they kept that shit private.
The thing is, if two co-parents are already close friends, why would one expect that to change?Co-parents don't have to be good friends but many are and that's typically amazing for the child. Some of it is completely fair, but a lot of it comes with dating a single parent. If I started dating a single mom tomorrow who's on good terms with her ex, I'd absolutely expect this guy to be a major part of my life now because his kid is a major part of my life now. I expect him to have stories for days about his dad and I expect all of his most beloved experiences and memories to have involved his father. There are some things that you are going to have to get past if you want to date someone with a child. I don't date people with children for this reason. It would be too drastic of a change to my particular lifestyle.
Sounds like you two are simply not compatible.
Can you sit her down and say this? “Look, your comments about my joining that group are hurting me. I need you to support me while I do it, or at least not make negative comments. This is really serious to me. I want to give it an honest try and it hurts when you make negative comments.”