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Anabelleleigh, 33 y.o.
Location: United States
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Date: March 21, 2023
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i would go with :
1) present excuse. you were exhausted and you didn't realize you were rude.
2) decide together what you should do the next time you are dead tired and that she invited someone without warning when you should sleep.
Thank you so much for this thoughtful response 🙂 some great advice and words of wisdom there which I will take on board!
Don't be too concerned, in reality it's easier to take a number and delete it than be afraid of what happens if we were to tell a guy no. She probably just did it this way to save herself a lot of hassle, she was honest with you about the situation.
How would you feel if your teenage girlfriend spent the night at her male best friends house, then tells you she’s pregnant? I’m not saying he’s right by the way he responded, but it’s not like he had no reason to be mad. She never told him she had the kids, she blocked him and moved away so he never knew. Forget about the whole morality aspect of OPs actions, legally she fucked up and will lose this battle in court.
This is information you need to share with him.
It is his right to be in a relationship with someone that aligns with his world view, or rather to have all the information if not and then to be a choice rather than one made for him.
You clearly regret bad choices and are trying to make better ones, but that feeling does not justify keeping him in the dark. Despite some advice you may receive, it is not “just a job” to many people, men and women. It has a lot of baggage that cannot be dispelled for the salving of feelings.
You may find that he can live with this, no problem. Men are not a monolith. You may find the bigger issue is sitting on the truth for so long and how it may suggest you are sitting on other things of note.
If you love him then surely you will let him have the freedom of choice, just as you exercised? Do the tight thing.
I feel he automatically hides in fear of my response because he knows its bugs me.
He could, yeah, but if you guys are going to be partner you are going to need to learn how to communicate with each other in an open and truthful manner. If porn bothers you that much and he is still doing it…I don't know, girl. It might be something you are going to have to either get used to or walk. He doesn't seem willing to change.
You don’t do anything, she’s broken up with you. Accept it, learn from it, and then move on.
I don't know. You were young and manipulated by an older man who sounds very controlling and threatening, so it sounds like you were taken advantage of. It was 5 months of your life, and you say it was horribly traumatic. And the fact that this man is still harrassingyou is concerning. How would your boyfriend feel about that? I believe its your history so its your choice to tell, but if he cares, he should be sympathetic and consoling, not judgemental.
So let me see if I have this straight. You’re going to go tattle to his parents because his WIFE is causing problems in your friendship. You’re almost 40 and don’t understand why his marriage and his wife are more important to him than you? Sounds to me like you’re interested in him romantically and are very jealous of his wife.
The way you are acting is inappropriate towards this man. You don’t seem to understand boundaries. If he were my husband be would be made to choose between you or me. If he hesitated or didn’t drop you as a friend he would be handed divorce papers.
You are the third wheel in his marriage. I’m 46 and a woman and your behavior is appalling and inappropriate. You’re also very immature for you age. When a man gets married his wife is his priority.
If people want to give you a gift to show appreciation for you both, it would be so very rude for you to refuse them and would likely hurt their feelings as well. I would assume that, considering you're inviting them to your wedding, that these are people who mean something to you, so if they do bring gifts, you should graciously accept, and then donate them if you're honestly so chuffed about it.