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Amely, 21 y.o.
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Date: October 10, 2022
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He doesn't sound like he should be your bf. It's absolutely ridiculous that he invalidates your experiences as a woman. You should just break up with him.
He’s going to escalate – if he’s already doing that, quite frankly. I unfortunately have too much experience with dudes that are into feet because I’m a tall girl, which is like a bat signal to creeps because my feet are proportionally big. I have had multiple men come up to me on the street talking about my feet, it’s pathetic. This is a fetish and he’s already gone from presumably looking at foot stuff online to asking his friends for it? That’s a PROBLEMATIC AS FUCK progression. It shows he doesn’t understand normal boundaries and you need to cut your losses because he’s going to keep doing more and more to get that thrill if he’s already doing this…
It was very hard
as someone who’s been through this process, you need to be brutally honest about your feelings.
It was very hard, but maybe in three months I'll look back
You're ignoring the context of his making comments and expressing potential doubt previously. She offered the reality that she's a tall woman, and recessive genes do weird stuff, as a reasonable explanation – but she DID have to offer an explanation. So, there IS added context you're ignoring that makes it less likely to be a random fun things.
I hope not, but with how long it's been I worry she's built up resentment thinking I hate her and therefore she hates me. She's always been very socially self-conscious and keeps walls up to keep people from hurting her. She's such a genuine and kind soul with a lot of emotional wounds of her own, and the last thing I want is to open old scars.
SAME! I have ADHD, so I feel the OP on this one. Indirect communication is an exhausting nightmare for me.
When a woman says she’s pregnant the couple usually stops using condoms or birth control. No need anymore. Do Not do this. If she is lying she won’t be soon if you have unprotected sex. Follow through on your plans to leave
Lol
never allowed
She’s 20 and you’re getting engaged? Hectic. Yeah and she’s cheating on you with that girl. Also maybe explore a bit more before engaging someone
Can you clarify why you need to see her semi-regularly if you don’t have kids?
If you want to have sex before marriage, you need to leave your girlfriend. If you want to stay with your girlfriend, you need to respect her boundaries and wait until marriage to have sex. Any other option makes you a scumbag, because the only other options are cheating and coercion at BEST and SA at worst.
Yeah, I don’t know what OP is smoking…
I am in my 30s and have a very demanding job with lots of responsibilities and requires discipline and time management. If my SO just came and “checked me out” like a fucking school kid and talked about it with my boss behind my back and I lost an entire half day that I hadn’t planned on in the middle of professional crunch time, on top of being treated like I wasn’t an adult in front of my entire professional cohort for some sort of “best SO award show”, I’d be fucking furious!! Yeah, you’re damn right I wouldn’t be able to enjoy the afternoon off after being treated like a child.
I’m glad you’re together and that you’re getting out. I cannot believe that your mother has violated your trust like this. I’m not sure if your mother is protecting your father or your brothers ?!?!?!?!? Safety first i’m glad you have an escape plan. Please get all your documents locked down your credit and your ID. you might want to talk to a professional to see if you want to go to the police or not.
I’m sure you work great together and have a fantastic friendship…but you need to prioritise your marriage. That will mean abandoning a great friendship and it will feel bad, but the friendship stopped being one, when you developed feelings beyond the platonic, which even creep into your idle thoughts. I am actually a great friend of friendships, including with the gender you are attracted to, even when you are in a relationship and regularly get downvoted for it – but the whole thing only works, when the trust of the partner is being honoured. Currently you are not honouring your partner’s trust by going further and further into the crush, rather than drawing clear boundaries. You have noticed an increase in touching that you felt was flirtatious, yet you didn’t shut that down immediately – in part, because you like it, because you have a crush. That is when all lines are gone and you need to kill the friendship and contact as much as possible.
If the friendship, the codependent carrier plan and the soft flirtation with your coworker seems more important than your marriage – then you really need to have a very hard sit down with yourself.
One thing is clear, you absolutely can’t have your cake and eat it too. This is a either/or scenario.
There are things called white lies. If a GF asks you if she looks fat you don’t say yes. Whether it’s over or not, I’m not sure, but even OP realized too late that some “truths” are better left unsaid.
Please value yourself to be OK with whatever he decides to do after you tell him you need to be good to you. I stayed married to a man I no longer respected for too many years. He has been gone for a few years now. My life is totally different now. I’m happy with we’re I live and who I am. I can’t describe the difference!
Thank you. This is obviously a fake story created so commenters can insult a different culture.
OP has total complete perfect recall of the exact words her husband said? Adrenaline suppresses memory though! No one ever remembers the exact words.
Break up immediately before he does what he says.
He knows that he exists, but that's the extent of it.
Even if you can get past this, my biggest concern is putting money, love, irreplaceable years of your life, and put in the hard work and effort to rebuild trust into this relationship possibly create a child with her only to find out it has happened again. It wasn’t a lonely drunken whirlwind accident this was a long-standing affair at the beginning of your marriage that she was able to stomach both betraying you and lying to you repeatedly during the entire experience- three years have passed and she is still keeping him in the whims but using non cheating conversation as a less risky and obvious placeholder to keep tabs on him and keep her in his mind. I recommend quietly talking to a lawyer just to be aware of your rights and what you might be facing. Don’t tell her your plans to an honest person sometimes self preservation feels selfish and dishonest. She doesn’t play by the same rules as you in love and will be ten times worse as an adversary.
Begging you not to even risk having a baby with her with the possibility of you being forced to trust that she will protect and prioritize your child without you presence 50% of that child’s life- but always afraid for them, knowing she is a comfortable liar.
(this can happen in a well meaning attempt by either to save the marriage or even a plot to anchor you if/when you decide to leave her)
It’s a scary helpless feeling and a life an innocent baby human doesn’t deserve nor do you
Please do go to therapy but your own private therapist no matter which path you choose
You didn’t deserve to be treated that way!
Well, this will be the leverage she will use if she does want it. I’d be surprised if it ends here and I’d be considering if this is the kind of marriage you want.
You’re right, and I’m happy it happened in the first place. Not many people get to make out with their crush, I’m just disappointed it ended so abruptly for no reason. But that’s life.
Shouldn’t have included the weight. People will only be able to concentrate on that now. Reddit hates fat people
That's a major difference with my situation and yours. My wife desperately loves me and really doesn't want our marriage to end. I don't think we would have made it this far if she sometimes said she wanted out. Best of luck bro. You've got the best years of your life in front of you, so make the best of them.