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  1. Thoughtful like he always has lemons at his house for my water, has tried to cook for me a few times, made sure to have some of my allergy meds on hand, grabbed the candy I said I liked. Sweet, but not sweet enough to compensate for the drain everywhere else.

    I do like the Keep Is Simple approach. Hoping to stay civil/friends.

  2. Well I'm sure she will do what she feels is right for her. I just feel that since, apparently, nothing has happened whilst he has been with her the relationship is salvageable. If something has been happening then she walks.

  3. I am in the belief that some people truly can and want to change but in this scenario that’s not the case. I would like to think that most of the people who resort to Reddit have already had multiple unsuccessful talks with their partner or waited to see some change to no avail which is what brought them here.

  4. I would first have a honest long conversation with him asking him more questions about the issue and what he would like you to change or do. If you haven’t already had this conversation. Ask him to do some real digging and thinking about his feelings.

    For example what I would want to know are specific instances and examples of you being too needy or behaving in a way that’s bothering him. And also what are his suggestions? What are specific things you can do to give him space? Or suggest your ideas to him. Maybe work out a schedule like, a few nights this week where you’ll both do your own thing. Maybe both at home in different rooms or one person going out. But also you shouldn’t forget your needs. You need to compare your expectations of how much time you need together and find a compromise. I mean he also can’t kick you out of the house whenever he feels like he needs space if you don’t want to go out. Why can’t he do something alone and go out? Like he could do a solo trip or something.

    The thing is, it could be that it’s nothing specific. That it’s just a general feeling that he’s having and he won’t even be able to tell you what you could do. I think if that’s the case the problem probably runs deeper than just him needing alone time and then it’s probably something he has to think about a lot and find out what it’s about.

  5. Cause it was long distance relationship and his family is all the way across the world. I'm German, he is Chinese.

  6. Be honest and firm. Don't let her guilt you. Tell her that it isn't working and that you're unhappy. That's it. She might get sad or angry – you don't care. Let it wash over you. tell her you'll always care about her and you wish her the best.

    Once it's done block her

  7. Instead of overly concerning yourself with being able to orgasm you might want to try just enjoying yourself and let it happen when it does. I believe your trying too hard so as to not disappoint your boyfriend and as such your ruining your chances of having an orgasm by stressing so much, relax.

  8. Seriously what is wrong with these commenters? “Making new male friends when you're in a relationship is sus”?? Bullshit she can make friends with whoever she wants! It's okay to meet at a beach during the day (hot af no thanks) but at 7pm it's suddenly a “date”? It's only a date if they call it a date and they aren't doing that. Ridiculous. Bf is insecure and controlling.

  9. He could have left anytime and stayed in his car if he was in fear for himself, which I doubt is the case..Obviously he waited for the perfect opportunity to make his exit now that he's done using the mom and gf.

  10. Hello /u/Vegetable_Bus_3027,

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  11. I symphatise with you, I had similar issue since puberty. I find more annoying than anything else.It's just physiological so don't let her shame you for that. You can try couple counceling, but with her attitude I don't know if she would willing to work through her issues.

  12. If you're not going to end things (which is what you should do), then two things need to happen; couple's counseling to talk through all of this and try to find an equitable way to handle tasks (and actually commit to them), and she needs to be in individual therapy to address her depression. Those should be non-negotiable. If she doesn't agree, then I revert back to the first sentence.

    What you're doing right now is what almost everyone does who's seeking advice. I apologize if that comes off as mean but it's not my intent. In saying that, the common denominator keeping everyone in a bad relationship is love, and the fact that “down deep they're great.” The problem is that those things aren't enough. They don't change reality. She can be the greatest person on earth. But she's an objectively bad partner, and no matter how nice she is, that's not going to make you any less unhappy if things continue as is. Good luck.

  13. girl.

    You can do better.

    I hope you understand that. Why are you sticking around in a relationship where your only communication is the bare minimum you would talk to an acquaintance about??? Love is not enough.

  14. Trust me he’ll come back if it’s meant to be and when he realizes all that shit is fake and he just lost his girl

  15. Except if the child is born with drugs in its system. Not that OP said anything about drugs. I’m just pointing out an instance where they will take a newborn from the mom. Sorry to go off topic a bit.

  16. In my experience, the shift he describes does represent a shift in emotional realities for a couple.

    It stands a bit to reason: when you’re worried about losing someone you value, you panic at any sign that you’re not on the same page.

    When that fear goes away (either through an over-abundance of security or a loss of feelings), you’re left with irritation: “here she goes again, not being reasonable and seeing it from my point of view. “

    Is that a death knell? Not necessarily, but a mature couple will develop an ability to talk about stages and gradations of feelings without panic.

  17. Don't talk to him. He's regretting his fuckup. I was once him, kind of, and I thought about the first ex a lot after I left the second ex. I wouldn't reach out to him as we're not even friends anymore (his choice) but I did have a desire to reach out to him after leaving the second ex.

    I would've broken up with the first one regardless, in my case it just kinda happened that I got with the second one a few months after leaving the first, but I would never try to bring up the good memories with my first ex (you in this situation) and rehurt him again. This guy just wants to see if you're still there, if you still want him, if you're still pining for him and he can keep you on the back burner. Cut contact ??‍♀️

  18. How is….there red flags when this man has given you what you wanted? You said moving to fast so he changes his approach with you and gives you what you want and you ask if that's a bad sign? What's wrong with you?

  19. I'd share with him that you respect men so much, that you cut off the dong of your last BF as a keepsake.

    He will not be back around after that. ;p

  20. I can understand why she’s telling/warning other women. You came off as a false friend with ulterior motives and it was creepy even if that wasn’t your intention considering you said she “seemed” into you. Give it time to blow over, don’t contact her, learn from your mistakes. In the future at your school if women wanna fuck with you, they’ll fuck with you, if this incident turned them off then it turned them off. It’s the consequences of your own actions and there’s not a lot you can do about it.

  21. OP already said the certificate doesn’t mean anything to her, she just wants to have the ceremony with her mother as witness before she dies. Did you read the post?

  22. Block her and move on. She's trying to manipulate you emotionally, and it's not going to get better.

  23. Why is this even a question? You literally just described an abusive raging alcoholic / drug user that is violent and manipulative. I see zero chance of redemption for your relationship

  24. If you want to blow up your life over the engagement ring story, sure. Dealbreaker. Make sure you tell your sons, your family, your church (WTF?) and friends WHY you blew up the marriage over him telling a nice story about the engagement ring. Yep, absolutely. Makes perfect sense. It won't make you look like petty af at all.

    Sure, being tired of him lying is one thing. Is he actually lying or is he making what could be an embarrassing situation (buying the ring online) a nicer story?

  25. She was 18 and I was 24 when we got together. Her sister set us up on a blind date and we have been together ever since

  26. Anyone can add you, but in order to communicate, you have to add them back. I get tons of bots sending me adds – mostly linked to OF and stuff like that. Could be completely innocent, especially if they don’t show on his friends list.

  27. You're broken up and she's still acting like your gf. She's very controlling. Just block her everywhere. You don't have to say anything. You have all the power. Never give someone that kind of control over you.

  28. This is legit onesie the funniest comments I’ve ever seen on Reddit. The catering company. That’s hilarious.

  29. Just say you're not interested in more than friendship (if that's true). You don't have to go into all the reasons; no means no. Her feelings will probably get hurt because rejection doesn't feel good. However, you're not responsible for managing her emotions.

    “I appreciate your honesty, but I'm not interested in anything more than a friendly neighbor relationship with you. I'll see you around.” If she doesn't back down, get more firm. If you feel like you're wavering, imagine having a bad breakup with her and having to see her every day since you live in the same place. Shut it down. Don't imply hope for the future.

  30. It's a good learning experience. You know you deserve better so go out and get it!

    Good relationships aren't hard. Remember that as you go forward. You are so young and have so much time to find your person.

  31. No it’s definitely not what I want… but I think you’re right. I feel like maybe she’s just using the sex stuff as a way to get us to communicate with eachother again…

    I may try to reaffirm the boundaries (as I may not have been clear enough before) and also ensure nothing nsfw happens again, and if she crosses them again, then do as you said… or maybe I should do as you said now lol

  32. Your relationship might have run its course. Sounds like you feel more like an ATM than a partner.

  33. When my grandma died my grandfather re-lived losing her every single time he asked and was told she had died. I would definitely say not to tell him.

    My grandfather was very good at hiding how far along he was with his dementia. Memories wise he'd play around as if he remembered until we filled in the blanks for him.

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