91 thoughts on “Kaitlyn-Miller live webcams for YOU!”
Are you happy? You have to live your life for you. If you spend all your time worried about what other people think and living by their standards you will never be happy.
However as a black person who has dated outside of my race, I'd be lying to you if I said people won't look at your funny or differently. It comes with going against the grain. Just walk with your head high knowing you have a bomb ass partner and do what makes you happy.
It doesn't help that you both go together, probably makes it less of a thing for him to go with someone else. As an outsider reading this he's in the wrong but I'm also not suprised it's happened
It sounds like to me you all wanted to speak in a language in which everyone was fluent, instead of having to teach him to keep up when you’re around your parents. It would’ve been a nice thing to do, but totally not necessary, especially if your parents weren’t interested in doing so.
He took it personally and probably should’ve brought it up again in 4 years instead of simmering on it and then blowing up.
If you want to keep seeing him, you’re probably going to have to learn to check in with him more often, since he seems unable to bring things back up instead of waiting to explode. It’s going to be a lot of emotional labor on your part, but it’s up to you if it’s worth it.
If she wants this to happen, then it is on her to set up circumstances under which you will feel comfortable going through with it.
If she is in fact as trustworthy in the respect you need as she claims, then signing the contract should be the merest clerical formality, and she should be only too happy to sign it, because it means you will then be comfortable enough to give her what she is requesting. Instead she’s choosing to interpret your request as character assassination. It sounds like she is not mature enough to embark on this.
His libido is unlikely to change and may drop more with age. So, ask yourself if you're okay with 1-2 times per week or whatever frequency he's comfortable with. If you are, then have a discussion with him. Don't joke around or talk around the issue, be honest and direct. If you would not be okay with the frequency, then a break up is best.
I've read some comments here saying their iPhones do this with GIFs and some photos. I've never had mine do this, or anyone I know, but I stand corrected 🙂
they're asking a question about something they don't understand, don't discourage that. may be neurodivergent or something, let's chill with the insults.
Leave. Why would you risk you future to go to a place where you aren’t even gonna be happy? You’re both from the south but he wants you to adjust for him knowing that you had a dream school somewhere else? That’s pretty selfish imo
Her dad is in his 60s, and mum in her 50s. Her dad ran a business, which unfortunately failed during the time I was with her. Since then, he never really found a secondary source of income, and her mum has been a stay home mum most her life.
The reason they have such a say, is because my girlfriend was brough up by them in an environment where they placed a large emphasis on filial piety. As such, she doesn't want a situation where she has to break her bonds with her parents, to be with me.
Common sense would be screaming red flags all over, but I guess that's just how much I love her. Thanks, I truly wish no one else would need to go through something like this.
My cousin went thru something very similar. She and her husband were able to get back on track after a while, but she needed some time and he needed to rebuild trust (he tried to ask out her best friend while she was pregnant, the best friend told after years and years, all hell broke loose etc).
First, you mourn what was. Understand that your trust and naivete were justified. You did nothing wrong. There's nothing wrong with you. You're not ugly or less than. Those are facts. Repeat em til you believe em.
Second, a perspective shift. You're not the same person you were 13 years ago. I'm sure there's plenty about you that's changed, and much for the better. You know more now, you're more experienced, and so on. This Akzo applies to your husband. He's not the same person today that he was in college. He's had a whole year to cheat or go off chasing your ex best friend if he wanted, but he isn't. He's picking you, every day.
Now he's got a long way to go to rebuild that trust, to show you that even though he did stupid things when he was younger, he's changed, but if you really wanna rebuild this, it's gonna take real dedication from him to prove that change, and then keep proving it over and over repeatedly.
After a year though, I don't know if just being roommates or getting a divorce would be easier than trying to get this train moving again. There's no going back, never will be, but you don't have to live in limbo either.
Sounds like fiance gets off on being wanted. She probably likes the idea that all of her man's friends want her too and the fact that you won't entertain her is driving her mad. She hates your wife because she gets all of your attention. Your friend is going along with it because he will do anything to keep her.
Unless you're like myself who has slept with a few people who literally made me feel dirty the next morning and no amount of showering would wash it off.
I'm honestly surprised I didn't catch anything from them.
It doesn't make sense to seek to be in a relationship and not seek to be attached to people. You shouldn't expect people to be abusive or take advantage of you. Being a decent person should be a requirement.
I suggest that you put more emphasis on screening people. Rather than worrying about getting attached to them.
For example, seriously make a checklist. With things like
Must show you proof of interactions with family prior to getting into a relationship Must show you history of past relationships
Just say, I'm not really into anything anal, I would try pegging if it was maybe once or twice a year, but if you are only turned on by anal then maybe we are incompatible.
Ah well with this context I no longer think it’s a miscommunication — I think it’s simply you being passive aggressive. He’s right. You could have easily just asked why he took longer than you wanted, but 40 minutes isn’t even that long for a normal conversation. I very much understand his frustration now.
Before breaking up with her, have you considered asking her how things are going and what she needs to be able to commit to you? Have you asked her how you can best support her in her healing?
If you just want out, just tell her you’ve thought a lot about things and you’re unhappy because ________. You think you’ll be better off apart, but you’d like to keep,the door open in the future.
She probably won’t respond well. She probably will have someone else in her life at so,e point, but you broke with her, so that’s not really your business.
Exactly what I wanted to say OP YOU ARE NOT SPECIAL… he at some point was amazing to his wife as well… that’s what horrible men do, they treat you nice to get their dick wet, and after they are bored, they go with the next dumb that think she is special and he will change for them lol
“Boyfriend” is the term they prefer, so that’s what I used. We both are recovering addicts from substances, and this isn’t the first time they’ve slipped up/promised they would stop. A support group is a valid idea but therapy is financially unobtainable at the moment. Thank you for the advice.
It's worth considering that she might just fancy him and want you out of the way. At any rate, if you don't trust him get out of this relationship. You haven't yet invested years and if he's as untrustworthy as you seem to think it's not going to get any better. Besides, he's way too old for you. Good luck
Literally do not tell this. We don't know what he could do? Man might just kill her in a fit of rage if he considers it her “killing his baby” anyway. Don't encourage her to put herself in a situation that could end dangerously.
Leave now! Please! This won't be the last time he gets physical with you, if you stay, and it will only get worse! Pleeeease sweet young girl, get away from him!!!
I'm not entirely sure what your specific issues are but I'd start with trying to reflect on why you feel the need to use those specific slurs when in an argument with her WITHOUT BLAMING YOUR GIRLFRIEND. Why those ones? Does it speak to a deeper issue about your perception of women? Are you doing it to hurt her? And if you're doing it to shut her up then why can't you just walk away? Really think on this and build from there.
If you are going to be a guy that’s as weak as water in a group and you know if your gf or for that matter any girl you are walking with you won’t support if she gets assaulted sexually or otherwise then don’t walk in crowds . He lied as well saying he would support her and then had her in that environment when he knew he wouldnt.
If you are going to be a guy that’s as weak as water in a group and you know if your gf or for that matter any girl you are walking with you won’t support if she gets assaulted sexually or otherwise then don’t walk in crowds . He lied as well saying he would support her and then had her in that environment when he knew he wouldnt.
If you are going to be a guy that’s as weak as water in a group and you know if your gf or for that matter any girl you are walking with you won’t support if she gets assaulted sexually or otherwise then don’t walk in crowds . He lied as well saying he would support her and then had her in that environment when he knew he wouldnt.
I think if she had sincerely apologized after you left, I would chalk it up to emotions running high because of her friend. However, the fact that she doubled down on it is inexcusable.
Does not sound like she is mental stable enough for the relationship you want. That she can transfer so much onto you, is scary. It would be normal to have a bit of anxiety about you based on what happened to her friend. But in a normal person, it would be passing, and she would be anchored by your relationship. She is controlled by emotions and fears, that is not someone you want in your life.
I think a lot of people could be correct that you are the side-chick
However, I want to raise another possibility. I think for whatever reason he is ashamed of you. (Not saying you are worth being ashamed of, it’s an him problem).
Either you aren’t his ideal, or you guys are different backgrounds, or some other bullshit, he’s ashamed. So I’ve got to ask why would you be with someone who treats you this way.
You deserve better. You deserve someone who will either make you a priority or at the least isn’t ashamed to be with you.
You handle it the way you would if your doctor gave YOU that diagnosis. You ask people who have it, the doctor for what to expect. You recognize it's not just the person with the illness but also someone who is their care giver that's likely to need a therapist.
And if you're male, you recognize a burning desire to be a parent was always always always going to require someone else to do it for you.
What she gives to her other partners but doesn’t give you is a REALLY bad move on her part. I’d tell her other partners so they’re aware of what’s going on.
Definitely it was tacky and it could potentially have put OPs schooling and career at risk. Fortunately for her manager heard the whole conversation, but it could easily have gone wrong. That was entirely wrong of N's mom.
Thank you so much for taking time to give me advice and sharing your experiences. It means a lot to me! I’ve actually been meaning to start the process to get a therapist and I am really hoping it helps. To be honest I’m a bit scared about breaking up, and if that is the best solution, I am not sure that right now is the time. I guess time will tell. Again, thank you for your advice. Especially because it was so positive and much more uplifting than I expected, which I’m grateful for. To be honest I was expecting the comments to be more negative and smack me into reality, but this comment makes me more optimistic about the future. Thank you so much!
…first off stop calling him your boyfriend. That’s a dangerous psycho ex boyfriend you have there.
Second I would alert every family member you have, every friend and neighbor, and the police of what he said. Make sure everyone and anyone knows that he threatened your life. Honestly there are places that he could be arrested for saying shit like that – could be considered a terroristic threat, class 6 felony where I am, for example.
Third- get the fuck out! Leave, never come back. Restraining order, get a gun, get a big ol’ dick-biting dog, etc. (maybe this is too dramatic, but idk, better safe than sorry with religious nut jobs)
Man Reddit is so toxic, you come asking for advice and you get put down for your beliefs, and then you get told that your ex husband didn’t actually cheat on you but is the victim of SA (by people who know neither of you and are making assumptions based on wordings). Sucks big time, sorry for you!
About your post, the only sound thing the others are saying is that you definitely shouldn’t stay with this guy if he’s pressuring you to have sex. Best of luck next time 🙁
I'm going to pretend I'm in her place. I moved in with a man I barely know, have a child with him, we have to learn about each other and how to co-parent. I'm now without family support and living with a man who could kick me out at any time.
She might want to contribute half so if you do kick her out (not saying you will) she's used to not having that money already. She might be really fucking uncomfortable right now my dude. She did everything alone (not your fault) and now is in this weird nuclear family situation. Give her time. Get to know each other. Offer support.
Signed, a woman with 2 kids and prior to her marriage, was in a scary situation herself with the first kid.
I think it’s worth considering whether it makes sense to be in this relationship if it hinges on being convenient for him. Your needs are important. It’s disturbing to hear that you have taught yourself to ignore them.
I was in a similar situation with my ex. It got to the point where it was super disruptive. There is an app that is strictly used for communication between parents which can then be used in court if need be. I'm not saying you should go that route (court) just yet but no reason they can't communicate on the app. Maybe if he's aware it may be monitored one day he will cut back on the stupidness…what state are you in? I'm in NY and I swear by the app. You can send pics/video, set up a schedule for communication etc..It's called appclose. It's #1 co-parenting app allegedly. Anyways just a thought. If you need to vent feel free to DM me. I know it's not easy
Why because I have never known or heard of adult brothers and sisters sharing a bed. Is it common amongst people you know in your life? It’s an odd situation to read about especially when there was the option of a couch. I’m not saying the husband acted appropriately, he clearly over reacted, but I can understand seeing it as odd or being uncomfortable about it.
“I'll never let anyone limit me” is, uh, an interesting attitude to have in a marriage. Considering another person's feelings is a core part of any serious relationship. All this is to say that your expectations are totally reasonable, and his are bananapants wild.
On top of that, it sounds like he has a very unhealthy relationship with alcohol that's probably contributing to his behavior. But that's not something you can fix for him.
Nope. She didn’t need a place to stay…too coincidental, he never told you ahead of time. He knew you were unavailable for the night so he called her…it’s the way he is making you believe they are the same…very different. He’s cheating and your helping a friend.
He has also made it clear repeatedly that he will ALWAYS pick her over you. When you have any kind of conflict with her he will NEVER take your side no matter how right you are. He clearly knew what dress she planned to wear and never once thought “she's going to upset my daughter on her big day so I need to tell her to change or not come” he just went along with it because she is the only one that matters to him. He gave you the ultimatum, both or none, so let him deal with the consequences of being a shitty father.
Pft. I just got an IUD and before she even touched my cervix she said it was sensitive. That was the first time I've nearly passed out from pain. I cramped for a week straight. IB Profin everyday. Just got to have sex last night. It was fucking awful. If I have to take it out I will never put one in again
It's unclear how much time you and this (way too old for you) guy actually spent IRL before him inviting you into his home (as a mere guest it would seem). So he should have been forewarned about your weight and his opportunity to complain about it would have been before he lured you into his clutches. But the reason a M30 would be involved with a teenage girl is precisely to mold her into his ideal of the perfect partner. So it makes sense that he'd now be using this “negging” to get you to drop the weight and become more his “type”. All anyone can say is that it won't stop there. The whole point of coercive control is to dissociate a partner from their social support network. If your family is still willing to take you in that would be the best move. He's never going to see you as an equal partner and the longer you stay there the more your self esteem will suffer. Breaking you down to where you don't believe you deserve any better is textbook behavior for someone like him.
English is not my native language. Thus the use of “power”. He said he wanted to be able to decide more things. In my language this translates to one wanting more power.
Sounds like you need to break up with your family too. I know easier said than done for most people but I’d be like kay bye enjoy your new son and one less daughter!
Are you happy? You have to live your life for you. If you spend all your time worried about what other people think and living by their standards you will never be happy.
However as a black person who has dated outside of my race, I'd be lying to you if I said people won't look at your funny or differently. It comes with going against the grain. Just walk with your head high knowing you have a bomb ass partner and do what makes you happy.
It doesn't help that you both go together, probably makes it less of a thing for him to go with someone else. As an outsider reading this he's in the wrong but I'm also not suprised it's happened
There was one the other day that said the dude he was saying was 19 AND DIVORCED. Like…wtf.
Even disregarding maturity 22-27 is a big age gap, one person likely still in university and the other firmly established in their career?
That's a huuuge power imbalance
It sounds like to me you all wanted to speak in a language in which everyone was fluent, instead of having to teach him to keep up when you’re around your parents. It would’ve been a nice thing to do, but totally not necessary, especially if your parents weren’t interested in doing so.
He took it personally and probably should’ve brought it up again in 4 years instead of simmering on it and then blowing up.
If you want to keep seeing him, you’re probably going to have to learn to check in with him more often, since he seems unable to bring things back up instead of waiting to explode. It’s going to be a lot of emotional labor on your part, but it’s up to you if it’s worth it.
Y’all are young, he might not be the one for you.
If she wants this to happen, then it is on her to set up circumstances under which you will feel comfortable going through with it.
If she is in fact as trustworthy in the respect you need as she claims, then signing the contract should be the merest clerical formality, and she should be only too happy to sign it, because it means you will then be comfortable enough to give her what she is requesting. Instead she’s choosing to interpret your request as character assassination. It sounds like she is not mature enough to embark on this.
His libido is unlikely to change and may drop more with age. So, ask yourself if you're okay with 1-2 times per week or whatever frequency he's comfortable with. If you are, then have a discussion with him. Don't joke around or talk around the issue, be honest and direct. If you would not be okay with the frequency, then a break up is best.
Right so he exposed himself? Good for you, bullet dodged. Hes waving his red flag high and proud so you can dump him and move on.
OkY but he usually says he’s worried to not support him and I and now it’s changed to “his future family”
Also, personally I think him talking about the smell thing is a load of bullshit.
You made the right choice. That ex will contact her again even if she really blocked him. There are all kinds of ways to get around it.
Live your best life man. You only get one opportunity!
Updateme!
No no no. Get away from this man immediately.
It’s Taylor swift that’s like a once in a life time opportunity with the price of tickets right now
I've read some comments here saying their iPhones do this with GIFs and some photos. I've never had mine do this, or anyone I know, but I stand corrected 🙂
don't use psychological harm – a lot of people don't think that's real. go for something like “offensive” and outline the consequences for assholing
The ages are in the first sentence of the post..
How frequently are you texting her when she's away? Are these things that could wait until she gets home?
Wow I would handle someone sexually assaulting my wife very differently. Did you tell his partner
they're asking a question about something they don't understand, don't discourage that. may be neurodivergent or something, let's chill with the insults.
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Leave. Why would you risk you future to go to a place where you aren’t even gonna be happy? You’re both from the south but he wants you to adjust for him knowing that you had a dream school somewhere else? That’s pretty selfish imo
Her dad is in his 60s, and mum in her 50s. Her dad ran a business, which unfortunately failed during the time I was with her. Since then, he never really found a secondary source of income, and her mum has been a stay home mum most her life.
The reason they have such a say, is because my girlfriend was brough up by them in an environment where they placed a large emphasis on filial piety. As such, she doesn't want a situation where she has to break her bonds with her parents, to be with me.
Common sense would be screaming red flags all over, but I guess that's just how much I love her. Thanks, I truly wish no one else would need to go through something like this.
That's not the same thing though.
My cousin went thru something very similar. She and her husband were able to get back on track after a while, but she needed some time and he needed to rebuild trust (he tried to ask out her best friend while she was pregnant, the best friend told after years and years, all hell broke loose etc).
First, you mourn what was. Understand that your trust and naivete were justified. You did nothing wrong. There's nothing wrong with you. You're not ugly or less than. Those are facts. Repeat em til you believe em.
Second, a perspective shift. You're not the same person you were 13 years ago. I'm sure there's plenty about you that's changed, and much for the better. You know more now, you're more experienced, and so on. This Akzo applies to your husband. He's not the same person today that he was in college. He's had a whole year to cheat or go off chasing your ex best friend if he wanted, but he isn't. He's picking you, every day.
Now he's got a long way to go to rebuild that trust, to show you that even though he did stupid things when he was younger, he's changed, but if you really wanna rebuild this, it's gonna take real dedication from him to prove that change, and then keep proving it over and over repeatedly.
After a year though, I don't know if just being roommates or getting a divorce would be easier than trying to get this train moving again. There's no going back, never will be, but you don't have to live in limbo either.
Sounds like fiance gets off on being wanted. She probably likes the idea that all of her man's friends want her too and the fact that you won't entertain her is driving her mad. She hates your wife because she gets all of your attention. Your friend is going along with it because he will do anything to keep her.
Just a thing that happened.
Unless you're like myself who has slept with a few people who literally made me feel dirty the next morning and no amount of showering would wash it off.
I'm honestly surprised I didn't catch anything from them.
I disagree He really wants his butt played with
Sometimes other men gay men and bi men are willing to do that
It's not his 1st preference
He wants his wife to do it
Please consider seeing a therapist that specializes in PTSD and sexual assault.
It doesn't make sense to seek to be in a relationship and not seek to be attached to people. You shouldn't expect people to be abusive or take advantage of you. Being a decent person should be a requirement.
I suggest that you put more emphasis on screening people. Rather than worrying about getting attached to them.
For example, seriously make a checklist. With things like
Must show you proof of interactions with family prior to getting into a relationship Must show you history of past relationships
Just say, I'm not really into anything anal, I would try pegging if it was maybe once or twice a year, but if you are only turned on by anal then maybe we are incompatible.
Ah well with this context I no longer think it’s a miscommunication — I think it’s simply you being passive aggressive. He’s right. You could have easily just asked why he took longer than you wanted, but 40 minutes isn’t even that long for a normal conversation. I very much understand his frustration now.
Before breaking up with her, have you considered asking her how things are going and what she needs to be able to commit to you? Have you asked her how you can best support her in her healing?
If you just want out, just tell her you’ve thought a lot about things and you’re unhappy because ________. You think you’ll be better off apart, but you’d like to keep,the door open in the future.
She probably won’t respond well. She probably will have someone else in her life at so,e point, but you broke with her, so that’s not really your business.
Exactly what I wanted to say OP YOU ARE NOT SPECIAL… he at some point was amazing to his wife as well… that’s what horrible men do, they treat you nice to get their dick wet, and after they are bored, they go with the next dumb that think she is special and he will change for them lol
Exactly this.
“Boyfriend” is the term they prefer, so that’s what I used. We both are recovering addicts from substances, and this isn’t the first time they’ve slipped up/promised they would stop. A support group is a valid idea but therapy is financially unobtainable at the moment. Thank you for the advice.
It's worth considering that she might just fancy him and want you out of the way. At any rate, if you don't trust him get out of this relationship. You haven't yet invested years and if he's as untrustworthy as you seem to think it's not going to get any better. Besides, he's way too old for you. Good luck
Literally do not tell this. We don't know what he could do? Man might just kill her in a fit of rage if he considers it her “killing his baby” anyway. Don't encourage her to put herself in a situation that could end dangerously.
But honestly, if you want sex you should probably find someone who also wants sex
So much this. Why would he even want to have sex with someone who's uninterested in it anyway? That's such a turn-off.
Leave now! Please! This won't be the last time he gets physical with you, if you stay, and it will only get worse! Pleeeease sweet young girl, get away from him!!!
It's not a complicated situation. You're the naive side chick. He'll get bored of you sooner or later
Did you end up jumping it? That won’t always work when the battery is actually dead
Have some self respect and divorce the hoe you're married to. She doesn't love you
It’s after the sexual act and doesn’t involve him or his actual consent.
Pretending you are close to accurate. Many ‘kinks’ can still be deal breakers.
You didn’t explain how it’s healthy, just self indulgent to some psychological issue.
Nice attempt.
I'm not entirely sure what your specific issues are but I'd start with trying to reflect on why you feel the need to use those specific slurs when in an argument with her WITHOUT BLAMING YOUR GIRLFRIEND. Why those ones? Does it speak to a deeper issue about your perception of women? Are you doing it to hurt her? And if you're doing it to shut her up then why can't you just walk away? Really think on this and build from there.
DIL I’d death and green onion get it right .
But there are men that get it too like Such Yam.
If you are going to be a guy that’s as weak as water in a group and you know if your gf or for that matter any girl you are walking with you won’t support if she gets assaulted sexually or otherwise then don’t walk in crowds . He lied as well saying he would support her and then had her in that environment when he knew he wouldnt.
He showed his colours hours before .
Guy is a waste of space
DIL I’d death and green onion get it right .
But there are men that get it too like Such Yam.
If you are going to be a guy that’s as weak as water in a group and you know if your gf or for that matter any girl you are walking with you won’t support if she gets assaulted sexually or otherwise then don’t walk in crowds . He lied as well saying he would support her and then had her in that environment when he knew he wouldnt.
He showed his colours hours before .
Guy is a waste of space
DIL I’d death and green onion get it right .
But there are men that get it too like Such Yam.
If you are going to be a guy that’s as weak as water in a group and you know if your gf or for that matter any girl you are walking with you won’t support if she gets assaulted sexually or otherwise then don’t walk in crowds . He lied as well saying he would support her and then had her in that environment when he knew he wouldnt.
He showed his colours hours before .
Guy is a waste of space
I think if she had sincerely apologized after you left, I would chalk it up to emotions running high because of her friend. However, the fact that she doubled down on it is inexcusable.
Does not sound like she is mental stable enough for the relationship you want. That she can transfer so much onto you, is scary. It would be normal to have a bit of anxiety about you based on what happened to her friend. But in a normal person, it would be passing, and she would be anchored by your relationship. She is controlled by emotions and fears, that is not someone you want in your life.
I think a lot of people could be correct that you are the side-chick
However, I want to raise another possibility. I think for whatever reason he is ashamed of you. (Not saying you are worth being ashamed of, it’s an him problem).
Either you aren’t his ideal, or you guys are different backgrounds, or some other bullshit, he’s ashamed. So I’ve got to ask why would you be with someone who treats you this way.
You deserve better. You deserve someone who will either make you a priority or at the least isn’t ashamed to be with you.
You handle it the way you would if your doctor gave YOU that diagnosis. You ask people who have it, the doctor for what to expect. You recognize it's not just the person with the illness but also someone who is their care giver that's likely to need a therapist.
And if you're male, you recognize a burning desire to be a parent was always always always going to require someone else to do it for you.
If he gave her his number & is talking about his hobby, don’t be naive, he’s on tinder for sure.
You get to change the rules until they work for you
Your friend sounds exhausting
What she gives to her other partners but doesn’t give you is a REALLY bad move on her part. I’d tell her other partners so they’re aware of what’s going on.
Podcasts. All the little peen energy of internet cowboys, but with the tiny audience and personal stakes of a dinner party.
So. Uh. Read the room. You can't afford to lose her as Subscriber~
This is great advice, thank you so much.
Definitely it was tacky and it could potentially have put OPs schooling and career at risk. Fortunately for her manager heard the whole conversation, but it could easily have gone wrong. That was entirely wrong of N's mom.
Yeah you wanting to be screwed by that many guys at the same time ended your marriage I bet he’ll be giving you divorce papers soon
Thank you so much for taking time to give me advice and sharing your experiences. It means a lot to me! I’ve actually been meaning to start the process to get a therapist and I am really hoping it helps. To be honest I’m a bit scared about breaking up, and if that is the best solution, I am not sure that right now is the time. I guess time will tell. Again, thank you for your advice. Especially because it was so positive and much more uplifting than I expected, which I’m grateful for. To be honest I was expecting the comments to be more negative and smack me into reality, but this comment makes me more optimistic about the future. Thank you so much!
I've heard plenty about them while it's happening ??♀️ and then watched the inevitable shit storm that came with them.
He sleeps a lot more & I don’t sleep very much at all. We have 2 bedrooms now but I’m not sure how often I really want to be going into the other room
Or she's never had an orgasm so she really doesn't see the big deal
…first off stop calling him your boyfriend. That’s a dangerous psycho ex boyfriend you have there.
Second I would alert every family member you have, every friend and neighbor, and the police of what he said. Make sure everyone and anyone knows that he threatened your life. Honestly there are places that he could be arrested for saying shit like that – could be considered a terroristic threat, class 6 felony where I am, for example.
Third- get the fuck out! Leave, never come back. Restraining order, get a gun, get a big ol’ dick-biting dog, etc. (maybe this is too dramatic, but idk, better safe than sorry with religious nut jobs)
Man Reddit is so toxic, you come asking for advice and you get put down for your beliefs, and then you get told that your ex husband didn’t actually cheat on you but is the victim of SA (by people who know neither of you and are making assumptions based on wordings). Sucks big time, sorry for you!
About your post, the only sound thing the others are saying is that you definitely shouldn’t stay with this guy if he’s pressuring you to have sex. Best of luck next time 🙁
I'm going to pretend I'm in her place. I moved in with a man I barely know, have a child with him, we have to learn about each other and how to co-parent. I'm now without family support and living with a man who could kick me out at any time.
She might want to contribute half so if you do kick her out (not saying you will) she's used to not having that money already. She might be really fucking uncomfortable right now my dude. She did everything alone (not your fault) and now is in this weird nuclear family situation. Give her time. Get to know each other. Offer support.
Signed, a woman with 2 kids and prior to her marriage, was in a scary situation herself with the first kid.
You know you might want to be more humble about what sex and forming sexual comparability is like when you’ve literally never had it
I’m on birth control.
Ew. Unless this is agreed upon by both parties, it's uncouth and juvenile. Find someone with a higher emotional maturity level than a potato
Lmao I am so sorry, I did not notice I went on for that long.
I think it’s worth considering whether it makes sense to be in this relationship if it hinges on being convenient for him. Your needs are important. It’s disturbing to hear that you have taught yourself to ignore them.
Thank you for validating my feelings on that. I feel so disrespected. I don’t want to end the relationship over this.
DO NOT buy a home with someone you're not married to. Ever. No exceptions. It will be the biggest financial mistake of your entire life.
Tell him no thanks. That he should buy whatever he wants and you’ll be staying in your place where you’re comfortable and can afford it.
Please tell me you don’t already live together.
You should go to therapy
I was in a similar situation with my ex. It got to the point where it was super disruptive. There is an app that is strictly used for communication between parents which can then be used in court if need be. I'm not saying you should go that route (court) just yet but no reason they can't communicate on the app. Maybe if he's aware it may be monitored one day he will cut back on the stupidness…what state are you in? I'm in NY and I swear by the app. You can send pics/video, set up a schedule for communication etc..It's called appclose. It's #1 co-parenting app allegedly. Anyways just a thought. If you need to vent feel free to DM me. I know it's not easy
Sex is not a requirement in a relationship.
Lol wut. So a romance movie, cheating? People enjoy romance movies based on the exact same principle.
Why because I have never known or heard of adult brothers and sisters sharing a bed. Is it common amongst people you know in your life? It’s an odd situation to read about especially when there was the option of a couch. I’m not saying the husband acted appropriately, he clearly over reacted, but I can understand seeing it as odd or being uncomfortable about it.
“I'll never let anyone limit me” is, uh, an interesting attitude to have in a marriage. Considering another person's feelings is a core part of any serious relationship. All this is to say that your expectations are totally reasonable, and his are bananapants wild.
On top of that, it sounds like he has a very unhealthy relationship with alcohol that's probably contributing to his behavior. But that's not something you can fix for him.
Nope. She didn’t need a place to stay…too coincidental, he never told you ahead of time. He knew you were unavailable for the night so he called her…it’s the way he is making you believe they are the same…very different. He’s cheating and your helping a friend.
He proposed to go from 3 to 2, yes. My mental illness causes me to express affection in, sometimes, unhealthy ways
He has also made it clear repeatedly that he will ALWAYS pick her over you. When you have any kind of conflict with her he will NEVER take your side no matter how right you are. He clearly knew what dress she planned to wear and never once thought “she's going to upset my daughter on her big day so I need to tell her to change or not come” he just went along with it because she is the only one that matters to him. He gave you the ultimatum, both or none, so let him deal with the consequences of being a shitty father.
Pft. I just got an IUD and before she even touched my cervix she said it was sensitive. That was the first time I've nearly passed out from pain. I cramped for a week straight. IB Profin everyday. Just got to have sex last night. It was fucking awful. If I have to take it out I will never put one in again
Would donating it be a better option? It doesn’t feel right to me to throw gifts in the trash
By that I mean an animal in the wild. Untouched by man.
It's unclear how much time you and this (way too old for you) guy actually spent IRL before him inviting you into his home (as a mere guest it would seem). So he should have been forewarned about your weight and his opportunity to complain about it would have been before he lured you into his clutches. But the reason a M30 would be involved with a teenage girl is precisely to mold her into his ideal of the perfect partner. So it makes sense that he'd now be using this “negging” to get you to drop the weight and become more his “type”. All anyone can say is that it won't stop there. The whole point of coercive control is to dissociate a partner from their social support network. If your family is still willing to take you in that would be the best move. He's never going to see you as an equal partner and the longer you stay there the more your self esteem will suffer. Breaking you down to where you don't believe you deserve any better is textbook behavior for someone like him.
English is not my native language. Thus the use of “power”. He said he wanted to be able to decide more things. In my language this translates to one wanting more power.
CLOMP AROUND. I love that and I’m gonna steal it.
Fuck that, guarantee he will still be doing both those things, he just doesn't want you doing it.
Sounds like you need to break up with your family too. I know easier said than done for most people but I’d be like kay bye enjoy your new son and one less daughter!