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Date: October 11, 2022
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Look into Wellbutrin/Bupropion. It’s an SNRI & is known to actually increase libido. I switched from Zoloft (SSRI) because of anhedonia & weight gain. Wasn’t dating at the time so I didn’t care about low libido, until I realized I cared that I didn’t care (if that makes sense). Major improvement for me. On the flip side, regarding considering leaving: I divorced due to a dead bedroom (among other things). Sex and intimacy is an important part of most relationships. And while frequency changes throughout a relationship, that’s ok, but only as long as both partners are ok with the frequency. If you’re not happy, you’re not happy. It’s no one’s fault, but it is what it is.
You need to call the police and report him for domestic abuse and have him removed, if you don’t the kids will tak at school and you will lose them both
You don’t get to go and change your stated morals just because they became inconvenient.
You said a body count is a sin. Now that I pointed out that means you all if the sudden your definition of a sin changes.
I have personally done this after meeting a woman I was truly interested in because I wanted to have all my focus on seeing where things went with her can always create another account
bait
I wouldn’t care too much,
Just put on your big boi pants and get over it tbh
“Who she hung out with once after telling me she was at her mothers”. Bro they slept together, there's no 2 ways about it lmao. She can lie all she wants, but I've been down this road 1 too many times.
Bruh you a hypocrite
Call your local planned parenthood and get help.
I’ve been trying, I’m actually starting a gym membership just so I can get out more and get a hobby and I’ve been picking up extra shifts so I can socialize more with my co workers but I’m still stuck on him. I’m trying to move on but I love him so much deep down and I always try to hide it
Run, don't walk away. Never look back. Closure is BS. You don't need to tell him anything.
“Sorry sis, i'm not allowed to talk to you. The age difference makes it creepy.”
It would be easier to tell you how it can go right.
Spoiler alert, it can't.
What's the cost on those?
If you can’t afford it and he’s unwilling to contribute then stop booking hotels.
Him having a tantrum about it is a big red flag.
Yea your right im more just nervous how he will react i think
Diagnosis and treatment for ADHD isn't magic and any medication he might take will only help him pay attention to or to keep thinking about something longer as ADHD is an executive dysfunction where there is a lack of dopamine that would normally help a person to do that. That's it, and it will be up to your BF to fill in the rest of the blanks – but at least he will be able to. Any coping mechanisms that he has developed, fear of failure (can manifest as endless procrastination), or rejection sensitive dysphoria (“imploding relationships on purpose is better then them failing because of me”) could all still remain for a long time. It could also take a long time for him to come around, if he is going to.
Having said that, I personally did a complete 180 from starting in a similar place to your BF. I can't say what effect you being there for him during all of this will have. I had just gotten divorced and also not in my home country so the only people I had were my kids, and thankfully I decided I would do the best I could for them which probably helped motivate me to fill in the blanks I'd mentioned above. I also did see a therapist initially to help me cope with the divorce, but she really helped with a lot of other stuff including things related to coming to terms with what I was lacking from a lifetime of untreated ADHD.
Good luck to you and your BF, OP.
They’re still together
I could never be in a relationship with someone who acts like he does. Acting like a toddler and taking it out on you (aggressively or passive aggressively) are not ok.
It sounds like you need to be in therapy, not a relationship. If your mental health is affecting your relationship or work then you need help.
I think her presents are fine, but it's because you spend so much, that it isn't fair. You need to talk about a gift budget. If she wants to have a budget of 50 dollars, for example, that's fine and a very reasonable budget. But then you should also stick to that budget. And the lists she makes should include gifts within that budget. If you decide to go over it, that's up to you. Also, make a list yourself, so she knows what she can give you.
Record the abuse. Gather a bunch of recordings. Ask her when she's not abusing you what she intends to do to stop the abuse. If nothing I'd file for divorce.
Marital counseling I believe is not viable we are divorced, what I’m hoping for is us starting anew, I am not delusional that it will be him and me just jumping straight back to how it was
even in that scenario, he cheats so not worth staying anyways
These guys playing video games and it being more important than their SO it was f***ing chess????and then continues to use a harsh tone with her thennnnnnn dismisses her concerns – “it’s not a big deal to me” ?? “I don’t like my spouse” lol
Your girlfriend sounds like a moron. Sorry OP but she's positively mental. Have fun at the game!
That she'll run off with the male waxer after he tells her what an amazing pussy she has? Not sure what you're concern is.
If you can’t let what he did in the past go, then either get therapy or break up, cuz if you are getting upset about things he did before you set that boundary, there’s nothing he can do about it. And news flash, teenage boys will look at that stuff, hell, they did when you had to get a physical magazine. I think you’d be hard pressed to find someone who has never looked at that sort of content. Furthermore, have you ever looked at that sort of stuff, and if you have wouldn’t that be rather hypocritical?
she was honest, lying would have been worse. it’s not up to her to handle your emotions.
When it comes to a child and possible grooming, I wouldn't care. I'd take the risk in order to protect my own child.
…..not sure either of you are mature enough for a relationship.
She definitely isn’t.
If you want to continue with it, then you should put boundaries in place.
So sit her down, tell her that you both need to talk about how you each are acting in this relationship, and work out how you can proceed, making sure that both of you are respecting yourselves, each other, and the relationship.
Start with basic respect (like not hanging up on one another), then add ones about not putting “fees” on things that you should be doing in a relationship. One of her boundaries to you should be that a joke is only funny if both parties are laughing. So you need to think before you stick your feet in your mouth with ill-conceived jokes.
In your post history, youre looking for a sugardaddy, why are you sending a 21yrold money and nudes?
In your post history, youre looking for a sugardaddy, why are you sending a 21yrold money and nudes?
No you are not being harsh. He so fixating on tennis that his protizing it. Like it's fine to want to be healthy but there needs to be balance. Because what he doing is actually mentally unhealthy by not caring about the people around him.
It’s his family primarily, but 5 years in and they’re like my family too. So I want to go, even if it’s like the last time. Just for me to have closure with them.
Yes I agree but do you also think so with lsd and weed? Those are not addictive
Wow, he was caught red-handed. What other indication do you need to dump his sorry ass?
On the other hand, he may have been forever scarred from cheating due to this instance, lol. But you can't be the one to test that theory. Help him out if you wish to – not financially. Just for moral support, and make it clear that you guys are broken up.
You got me good! You seem very scholarly in addition to being warm and rational. No doubt you're in a fulfilling relationship and have had many varied and deep life experiences. You are the perfect person to be the arbiter of reddtiors life choices!
Simple, lock your doors. She wants to see what you’re up to that’s on her. Then plan your break
it’s true from his perspective.
I would probably tell him if i had some decent proof, I wouldn't want that on my conscious besides he deserves the truth. If he doesn't know his happiness is ignorance
That was surprisingly mature.
I think he’s trying to move in. Just say no to hobosexuals. 37 yo man living with his brother. Absolutely not.
I don’t think you should be marrying him if you’re not sexually attracted to him. You two don’t sound sexually compatible.
Sex and sexual compatibility is very important in a (non asexual) relationship. Waiting until after you’re already in a life long commitment to test those waters is, for lack of a better word, dumb and extremely outdated.
If you’re not a sexual person, that’s fine. But figure out your sexuality and find a partner who is cool with that prior to getting married.
LMAO WHY?? Are you googly eyeing her vajayjay when you're dining out?
And he locked her in with a baby.
But again he could be doing 10 other things secretly. Why specifically does this bother you? What he does shouldn't affect your insecurity, it's great you learned to let your guard down but really it sounds like you never worked on it. It would be best for you to work on yourself and your insecurity independent of what another person does.
You can see sex as the basement of a house.
It's not necessary and you can build a house without a basement but then you'll live your whole time feeling something is missing and how it would be great to have basement. Then the house gets older and the maintenance requisite get higher, and why should you invest your time and money in a house without a fucking basement. Up until you just can't live there anymore because what the fuck there's supposed to be a basement here : I want to have a basement, all the neighbors have a basement and they do so much fun stuff down there.
So yeah sex is not the most important thing in a relationship but when it's missing and you are a sexual person yourself it will taint everything.
So no one's at fault you just are either 2 different people or at different places in your life and are either no compatible or have a bad timing.
Thank you
If he has a good sense of humor, ask him out on a target date, pick up some sheets and toilet paper and have him pay for both ? shit literally happens, so if you like him somewhat, then be chill about it
Omg please stop…get a hold of yourself…don't let some girl destroy your soul…pick yourself up and dust yourself off…she wasn't the one…she was there for a lesson to be learned…find out what the lesson was and move on…you are still young…you will find the right one…give it time…sending positive vibes and hugs and damn I wish I can bring you some chicken soup for the soul… stay positive my reddit stranger friend.
You know how this ends
Stop living in this limbo. Let him know that it's been too long, it's over. Maybe just spend some time on yourself instead of floating from sort of relationship to sort of relationship.
OP, just step away from this kind of family. They have issues OP.
They need huge therapy. You do not want to be in the middle if this.
Just walk away. You are a normal human you do not need this.
It’s not unreasonable if you can find somebody to be that way with you. But most grown adults want an intimate full on sexual relationship. And I doubt that this man is going to hang out very much longer for this. And it is unreasonable to expect him to go without it when he wants it. I wish you the best and I hope you find somebody that fits your needs more.
You 100% don't spit in the face of someone you love,or even like. It would take hatred and disgust to elicit that response from me.
Your gf is showing you how she truly feels. Believe her. You deserve so much better.
From your post it isn’t clear that he was the one who actually removed you from the group discussion. Perhaps someone who out ranks him in this group didn’t want you there for some reason and he went along with it rather than ostracizing himself from the group. He might not know why they don’t want you there. Group dynamics can be difficult especially with old friends. He needs to do a better job of explaining what happened and you both need to discuss how to handle it going forward. A lot of people want to jump to some pretty wild conclusions here and they may not be wrong, but with old friends this may not be such an injustice as it seems.
I met him while I was in college, and we’ve been together for 3 years now.
OP, how did you find out?
Yes and no. She just seems down about how she looks. While it does manifest in the bedroom with a lower sex drive. I also understand that there is a lot going on with hormones and caring for an infant that messes with that. I know that with time that will correct itself. Im more referring to her attitude about how she looks. Being hard on herself for not bouncing back physically as fast as she did with our first child. If that makes sense.