Yeah, this is extremely manipulative behavior and the biggest of red flags. She lied sand gaslit you, her family, her friends, and ALL THE GUYS SHE WAS CHEATING ON YOU WITH. Breakup, get tested, go on with your life. Better on your own than with a manipulative cheater.
I think coming to her and letting her know you're feeling insecure isn't a terrible idea provided it's communicated well, and would definitely be more productive than just trying to shove your feelings down and ignore them. It's perfectly valid to ask for reassurances that they're all just platonic friends, that she still also enjoys spending time with you, etc. I think it would just be important to be clear that you know it's your problem that you need to work on. That way you're communicating your feelings to her without making it her own issue to solve.
It also could maybe help to talk to/get to know a few of them. I think having separate friend groups can be good for couples, but spending time playing games with her and them together on occasion can help you feel more secure because you'd have an idea of who they are instead of just having her spend time with people who are complete strangers to you.
I don't think he deserves to be with you so that is a no for an ultimatum.
Think about it… if he is like this when is about music and he is 27 years old (quite immature), how do you think it's gonna be when it's something more important or serious?
Always have principles and defend them. You deserve to be loved.
Because why am I gonna tell all of reddit every personal detail? No one wants to read all that. I’m not here to argue but I was a loner after my mom died of cancer and had no one and was working and living in apartment then my bf at the time wasn’t abusive until after I lived with him. He’s the one who insisted I stay home and relax and work on my mental health
This is a terrible idea and the end is near. Take it from someone who dabbled with the idea of polyamory. It just doesn't work for most people. It's going to get messy and most likely lead to you breaking up, but the cat is out of the bag now. Can't take it back.
Genuinely curious as to what you mean by this — I’m much older than her and I see it exactly the same way.
My wife would concur.
So what ended up happening, OP?
But seriously, I wanted to teach them not to put up with bullshit, but just wasn’t ready to leave because I didn’t think very good guys existed
Well you're teaching them that you need a man to be happy, and staying too long in a shitty relationship is better than being single.
Yeah, this is extremely manipulative behavior and the biggest of red flags. She lied sand gaslit you, her family, her friends, and ALL THE GUYS SHE WAS CHEATING ON YOU WITH. Breakup, get tested, go on with your life. Better on your own than with a manipulative cheater.
I think coming to her and letting her know you're feeling insecure isn't a terrible idea provided it's communicated well, and would definitely be more productive than just trying to shove your feelings down and ignore them. It's perfectly valid to ask for reassurances that they're all just platonic friends, that she still also enjoys spending time with you, etc. I think it would just be important to be clear that you know it's your problem that you need to work on. That way you're communicating your feelings to her without making it her own issue to solve.
It also could maybe help to talk to/get to know a few of them. I think having separate friend groups can be good for couples, but spending time playing games with her and them together on occasion can help you feel more secure because you'd have an idea of who they are instead of just having her spend time with people who are complete strangers to you.
I don't think he deserves to be with you so that is a no for an ultimatum.
Think about it… if he is like this when is about music and he is 27 years old (quite immature), how do you think it's gonna be when it's something more important or serious?
Always have principles and defend them. You deserve to be loved.
Because why am I gonna tell all of reddit every personal detail? No one wants to read all that. I’m not here to argue but I was a loner after my mom died of cancer and had no one and was working and living in apartment then my bf at the time wasn’t abusive until after I lived with him. He’s the one who insisted I stay home and relax and work on my mental health
Minus well (if you get it you get it) ????
This is a terrible idea and the end is near. Take it from someone who dabbled with the idea of polyamory. It just doesn't work for most people. It's going to get messy and most likely lead to you breaking up, but the cat is out of the bag now. Can't take it back.