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deepthroad [490 tokens remaining]
Date: February 13, 2023
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If you've smoked before, such as week ago, your clothes and a anything that was around the cigarettes will smell. Clothes. Shoes. Jewellery. Hair ties. Everything.
You're going to need to wash shit, multiple times. Cigarettes and nicotine stain and leave residue.
I thought that it could've been my car too. That's the car that I only go in, so it did smell like smoke because I never smoke in our car. Took my car to get it deep cleaned, but it didn't work (car smells great, she can't sense the smell in my car, but can still sense the smell on me). Really interesting how noses work during pregnancy. It's honestly impressive how she can smell the sense of vanilla. Sad, but impressive.
That would only be true if there weren't readily available comments that don't outright call it what it.
If calling out a blind spot in rape culture makes uncomfortable, maybe reevaluate yourself.
Alot of people have a hard time saying that men can be raped by women but this was rape plain and simple
What game am I playing?
i think if you're unhappy, then there needs to be a really honest discussion. Perhaps you can research locations that would be similar to where you're living now but are closer to your family.
I'm not an outdoorsy type so I unfortunately do not have any reccs for you to look into, however.
Nope. He has placed an unhealthy boundary on your relationship. One you have not agreed to, but are being punished because you “broke his trust”? How?
You never said you would not go to clubs. You did nothing but hang with your friends in said club.
The reason it's unhealthy is because it is stemming from unresolved hurt from previous relationship. It is not ok to bring distrust from previous relationships and place it on you.
You have done nothing wrong. His asking (telling) and then reaction is not normal or healthy. Your friends are right. This is his issue, he needs to fix (therapy) not use it to control you.
This sounds a lot like victim blaming to me.
Not my intention.
Why is it wrong to trust that your friends wouldn't harm you? These aren't random people she invited over, she said it was a few close friends.
People do fucked up shit. I've seen so many stories. A few months ago there was a story in the news where a girl and her friends went on a trip to Mexico. One of the girls ended up dying and she didn't even know that her friends wanted her dead. They beat her up while she was naked and recorded it and laughed.
It's not OPs fault if someone else abused her trust.
You're absolutely correct, but for me, I've seen too much shit happen. Trusting people is hard.
That's what I would do. I wouldn't want to get tied up with him and his drama
she might just not be that into you anymore? Not a great thing to hear, but it is a possibility. IF she's pulling away, it also could be work/life stress. How's everything else in her life going?
There’s no telling what he’s told her. But it’s definitely not what he’s telling YOU he told her. Sounds like a way for him to keep her from filing for child support. If they’re going to be together “soon…any day now shnookums…”
My friends and I were out having drinks and I called him cause I was thinking about him. My friend said the cliche “come back to bed” joke in the background. He completely blew up on me over the phone and the next day when we talked about it I assured him that it was simply just a stupid joke. He took it as me defending him which I kind of was but nonetheless I apologized for my guy friends joking around
… the time to bring it up sensitively would have been a year ago, not while you're planning your wedding.
Tell them they don't have to keep up the act that you are ok with their partnership. I think it's a really nice gesture, honestly.
You’re both young. Step up and break it off with your bf. Save him from long term suffering
I’m sure she’ll give you some twisted story “it was a dare!” Or “we were playing a game it didn’t mean anything” so the correct thing is to say no sorry that’s crossing a boundary with my partner. Not a game I want to play because I respect him. Not that hard. Best of luck to your friend, don’t let him get walked over on this one! You’re good friends for staying with him
If marriage was really important to me, I would break up with them.
Would you care if she gave someone else a lap dance? Because that’s what I asked. You can have your own boundaries. But not wanting your partner to be sexually gratified by others isn’t puritanical.
Yeah, don't please.
Yes this is textbook trickle truthing. She lied repeatedly, and changed her story each time when confronted. Now you know lies will be a pattern in any future relationship.
It’s only a win because there’s a severe disconnect in sexual compatibility. Some guys just find a very difficult time coping with a woman’s sexual past. And that’s fine. He’s not the first guy and he won’t be the last.
I will also say MMF and MFF are two different styles of threesomes. Sex is all about power and control. MMF and MFF have two different power/control structures.
That is how it is in the US so that was immediately a red flag to me.
Thank you for your advice. I think I just needed to hear it from someone else. My family thinks I should work on it for my daughter…
She is still hooked on her ex. Let her go.
“I have lots of followers on insta.”
That's why.
Yep. In a relationship the goal is to resolve the problem together FOR YOUR RELATIONSHIP. Not to be right over your partner. Not to win the argument.
And absolutely not to be one of those people who espouses how logical they.
So he likes you so much that he has to look at someone else's pic while having sex with you? WTactualF, you can't be serious?
Your demand is way out of line. You want to delete his life history. FB is the de facto photo album for many of us now. Would you be okay with him demanding that you burn all your baby photos because you're with him now, not your mom? The C word is ugly but honestly your request is a screaming-red-flag breakup-worthy offense, so you got off easy. Sorry, that's the truth.
How could she be the one for you and deny you your humanity? Your emotions? Your needs? You do not need to teach her how to see you as a human deserving of love as you are. You are worthy of love even if not ESPECIALLY when you’re emotional.
He was living by himself in this apartment for two years. I understand that, and I’ve been offering to help/ spend less time together. I was just caught off guard/ am hurt because I feel he was lying when telling me he was fine with the situation. I don’t trust him to tell me if he ever feels like this again until it spills over
Dam wtf?? Does he normally throw shit around?
I was actually going to suggest the opposite. I was going to suggest a trial separation to give each other some distance and decide what either of you want out of this relationship or even if you still want to be in it. Some time reflecting might do some good. I know long distance can be very stressful and I do wish you both the best.
double standard + high crazy jealousy reaction = BIG RED FLAG.
She might be projecting. tell her off whenever she starts to verbally abusing you. Take back control of the relationship. & tell her to stop talking & following other men. If she is not doing it then tell her your ultimatum.
what she is doing to you is not love, thats abuse.
God, just imagine the trauma for the daughter having to see her friend/dad's gf at school, and inevitably beginning the subject of teen gossip because your dad's screwing a classmate. He probably ruined her senior year.
And the wife, woo boy I can't imagine the damage done to her relationship with her parents. I hope her alimony pays for therapy.
Fully break up with her and block her number. I have stress from reading only half of what you’ve written; how you lived that and still love her is beyond my comprehension.
She will have to handle her own self. She can get help for her anxiety and depression. You get to move on and have an independent, happy life without her extreme clinginess. You’re not responsible for her mental stability. Don’t let her guilt you into thinking that you are. I wish you well.
If you are going to be living together I don't know why he needs to buy his own apartment now? It doesn't make sense. It kinda tells me he's afraid of fully committing and needs an easy out. Same with the stretched timeline. Even if you agree with his timeline there is nothing to say he won't try to extend it again…
If my spouse was acting this unhinged and insecure then he’d no longer be my spouse. This is a ridiculous level of insecurity. You don’t get to control who your partner interacts with. She needs to leave. Insecurity like this is a black hole. Nothing she ever does will be enough. She’ll wake up one day with no friends and no life and it still won’t be enough for you. The issue here is you and only you can address it.
Hmm. If it's based only on that text, I would say no he's not stringing you along, he's an adult who got tired and didn't end up getting together with you? That seems pretty innocuous.
Please break up with this piece of shit.
My daughter had chronic anemia, the pill was medically necessary.
You're trying reeeeally hard to justify this
Yes the internet mocking him… I guess he doesnt care about it. 19 is adult. Yes, it would be better if she would be with a 19 years old guy and they would have a family and stay together for 70 years but she can make her own decisions.
This hypetethical girl most likely wont find a lifelong partner in her early 20s anyway so why not spend some time with a 55 year old succesful man, why would it be better to hang out with a 22 year old dude?
Why are you turning him down if you don't even know him? Give him a chance. Go on a double date with H and C…. Live and laugh and see if you can love and if not then at least you made a friend.
Bruh he did this 20 years ago and she knew about his porn career. He was open about it so I don‘t see a reason „to flush him down the toilet“.
Look op I'm going to be real with you there is no fixing this it's been 3 years you've been with her and she has not changed she's never going to change. And everything you've written down all I'm seeing is that you've done all the work in this relationship she won't do anything bro she's happy with what you guys got going on she doesn't care she don't care about you she only thinks of what she wants.
What it sounds like to me you have this thing called sunk cost fallacy basically you spend so much time that now you don't want to feel like you've wasted all that time so you keep trying and trying on a relationship that won't work because the other person won't change it takes two to fix a relationship you can do everything in your power but bro at the end of the day if she's not doing anything there's nothing you can do.
It's time for you to put yourself first except that this is over there's no coming back from this and move on I know it's scary and sad that you have to give up on someone you've been with for the past three and a half years but it's time to move forward why would you want to stay with somebody who don't care about you and your emotion but only what they can get out of it come on it's time to move on bro you got this.
Where did OP go? No response to the valid point made.
If you're confused it's probably because she is. There are less complicated women out there.
Divorce can't be that much more expensive than therapy, can it? Much higher success rate, too.
Do you realise how stupid you sound.
Look up how staying in a sh#t relationship is more damaging to them and thier future relationships then anything. You setting your child up for a life time of shitty toxic relationships, Because you saying you don't want to share your child??? Jesus.
You can put it in right on custody agreement that neither is allowed a partner around the child for at least 18months and that's a serious relationship not on and off, not fwb a serious relationship.
You can also put that either party has to meet said partner after the 18 months before the child in introduced.
And give him every other weekend visits plus am additional day during the week to spend a few hours with child.