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Hornytexan4u, 40 y.o.
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Date: November 27, 2022
As long as it's not all the time, or it's causing you to treat them in a way that's toxic or abusive, then absolutely no, a little reassurance is fine. And as long as you're putting in an effort to learn how to gain confidence, that's even better. I'm hesitant to date men who have issues with insecurity because in my experience, it starts out with me reassuring them but it ends in them controlling me (or verbally abusing me to keep my own self esteem low).
Don't look for a woman to fix you. Look for a woman that inspires you to fix yourself. You should never depend on your partner for your mental well being.
Two absent parents. Go figure.
TBH neither you or your gf sounds really ready for marriage yet. She is kind of immature to have pushed you to propose when you're not ready. And you are kind of immature to even consider proposing 1) out of pressure, 2) on the same trip where her sister is about to get engaged.
Dude, this sounds like manipulation, I've been there, just run!! The sooner you notice the sooner you'll be able to escape the loop As for the trip, either go with the intention of meeting someone new while she is hosting you or don't go at all
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My girlfriend knows my main. I’m hoping she doesn’t see this post because it’s obviously very specific.
My girlfriend and I have been together for five years now and we live together in an apartment. Up until now I thought we had a great relationship. We rarely argue, we both have good careers, and we love each other’s families.
Well, recently my girlfriend’s best friend (26F) got out of an abusive relationship. She was with the guy for a year. My girlfriend and her best friend (we’ll call her Susan) used to talk about how amazing and wonderful he was and how we’d be “couple friends.”
Well in the past few months the guy really showed his true colors. He tried to tell Susan what she could wear, who she could talk to. Things came to a head when he put his hands on her during a fight. He’s now being charged with assault and me and my girlfriend have had Susan staying with us so she can feel safe since she doesn’t have any family in the city.
Well, recently my girlfriend has been sleeping in the guest bedroom with Susan. Which is obviously fine with me because Susan probably needs the comfort. But now my girlfriend is telling me she wants me to get a background check to prove I don’t have a history of abuse/other crimes and she also wants me to go to therapy to be “screened” for future abusive behavior.
I was shocked. I thought she was joking. But she’s 100% serious. I really did think it was crazy at first but now that I’ve had time to sit on it I’m actually devastated that she would think I’m capable of being abusive. In her words, “Susan didn’t know that (ex-boyfriend) was abusive until they were already dating for a year, I just want to be sure.”
My girlfriend has known me for six years and we’ve been together for five. I feel like that’s long enough to know someone.
Either way, I packed up my stuff and left the apartment because I feel like my girlfriend just accused me of being one of the worst things a man can be. I’m currently staying with my parents. My girlfriend has called and told me she doesn’t truly think I’m an abuser but is still pursuing the background check to be 100% sure. She also wants me to go to therapy. This time she said it like “everyone should go to therapy!” but originally she definitely said she wanted me to get “screened” for abusive behaviors.
I’m thinking of breaking up with her over this. I feel horrible. I feel worse than I have in a long time. My mom and dad are both shocked by her reaction, but apparently (according to her) her parents think this is all a good idea.
I just don’t know what to do.
The guards are letting her know a man is the building is asking questions about her. It was not their place to tell him information about her living situation. That would be inappropriate. You’re going to complain because they tried to give your GF a heads up. You need to work on your insecurities.
he is travelling for work for a month for the first time since the relationship
You sure it's not just fears from separation? You didn't have a problem for 3 years.