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Date: November 24, 2022
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I don’t know I didn’t ask a lot because I was in shock. I just told him I was faithful and repeated “he’s yours” again and again. It was awful and I’ll get other details later it’s still processing now really.
thank you!
Thanks for your comment. How do i note the difference in the future? He seemed also confussed when i was hurt
It's like me liking everything about my fiancé but I have leg fetish, a long one. And she have a short legs.
It can't be change, so just stick with your lies man. Cause sometimes the truth hurt.
If you keep comparing how his past relationship was to how his current one is then you will be resentful/jealous even if you stay with him for 20 years. This is really a self esteem problem on your end, and if you feed into it then it can cause problems not only in this relationship but with every other one. Chances are that the people you get with were probably with someone else at that point, but remember, every relationship ends for a reason. You need to stop romanticizing his previous relationship in your head, it was probably riddled with problems and issues that you never got to see.
Ummm…. I wouldn’t give up so fast.
So I sort of do the same thing with friends. I literally met one of my friends because she was sobbing alone in the side of the building and I came over to speak with her and ask if she’s okay and gave her emotional support.
The thing is, she’s engulfed in her friend’s circumstances. All she can think about is what her friend went through and how traumatic the experience was.
What she’s doing now is internalizing her friend’s feelings and processing them as “what if bf does the same?” Completely disregarding the fact that you’re nothing like her friend’s ex because she’s in “protect my friend at all costs” mode.
What I would suggest you do before throwing the relationship away completely is to take your gf away just for a little bit from her friend.
Go out to her favorite fast food place or go out and get a pizza together.
The point is that you two go out together alone somewhere and have a talk with her in the car or somewhere where you can sit down and be in public or private together.
Mention how you’re feeling and how you feel like you want to give up on the relationship as she’s unhealthily implying you’re abusive when you’ve done nothing like her best friend’s ex.
Ask her what you’ve done that is just like what her friend’s ex did.
Do i tell you what to wear?
Do I raise my voice at you during an argument?
Do i throw things or slam my hands in things when we fight?
Have I ever hit you?
Have you ever not felt safe being with me?
Ask her these questions and if she says no to all of them then ask her again why do you think after all this time and after I have never displayed abusive behavior do you think I need to do anything to make sure I’m safe to be with? People who love each other don’t ask for background checks and especially after 5 years together.
I understand that you’re concerned for your friend, but I’m not your friend’s ex and you know that. I love you, but I’m not comfortable with the idea that I have to do leg work to show you I’m not abusive when I’ve been showing you. This is my boundary and I’m willing to end this relationship if you honestly feel that I will hurt you in the future because I don’t want to be the reason you can’t trust me anymore.
Something along those lines. The importance is that you take her physically away from her friend to get her emotions in order and more focused on you.
Did he show any physical affection when you met his parents. Line was he holding your hand or putting his arm around you? Giving you a kiss?
Every relationship is great while you’re wearing blinders.
You keep saying you have an incredibly close bond, but do you really? Your girlfriend is claiming that she felt bad enough about the relationship that she opened up to a colleague about her problems. And from there developed it into an emotional affair (at least). And you didn’t notice anything? Didn’t notice her on her phone more? Didn’t notice her pulling away?
Couples therapy might be a good place for you to start unraveling your feelings. A good therapist will help you be able to communicate with each other better, help you understand why your girlfriend allowed herself to get into an emotional affair in the first place, and why she didn’t talk to you about the problems in her relationship. Or find out why you didn’t listen to her when she did, if she tried.
Yeah, dump him. He's insane.
Run for the hills brother