He is. You will have to decide what you want and are capable of doing.
This is not a single issue. How your family unit will approach your outside family is a real ongoing issue you will face. You need to have the same discussion many people have when their parents are old and sick and need support, now.
Have you considered setting a boundary for his family? If he sets this tone with your family, then he must match this tone with his own. Like, if we aren't willing to help my sick sister, then expect that when your parents age, they will not be welcome to move in with us and their care will need to come fully from their estate.
This is not in a tit for tat way. I would be absolutely furious if someone wanted me to be a full time nurse to their sick parent in 10 or 15 years after refusing to let me take care of my own family. I would be off to divorce court. He may not feel the same way about his own family. If he says he is, get a postnup that spells out this agreement. If he acknowledges he would want something different for his family, open the discussion of what that means and why your family is different. And see if there is a common ground that you can find.
As someone with 3 schizophrenic aunts, if you are in the US, you either take care of your family or they will end up homeless without treatment. I don't know if I could stay with a man who demanded me to leave a sibling to homelessness unless they were violent.
You are welcome so much. You can DM or Reddit chat me if you ever want to talk. I am happy if these suggestions work for you. Best to you. Hugs to you.
We can be as humanising as we want. But let’s all just cut the bullshit and admit that some people are higher class than others? I’m not saying at all that includes me. Maybe I’m on the lower end and that’s why I’m single. But it’s rubbish to say we’re all equal in that way
first off man i feel for you… thats a horrible thing to have had done to you as a child… im glad you got out… ok now is the time to be honest with her… set her down, you obviously like this girl (2 years dating) and she obviously loves you. she was upset bc she thought “tonight is going to be the night” after how good you treated her.
anyway… sit her down, explain that you are very nervous of what she will think of your body, that you have anxiety of showing her your body because as a child you were hurt. Tell her it all works (as i think it does at least) and that you feel ashamed or are worried that you are not perfect for her. Explain to her what was done to you… explain to her your true feelings on her and your relationship… if she loves you, and it sounds like it, then it wont matter if you have scars… she will love you either way.
I know its hard, i know its a scary position to make yourself vulnerable with someone you love and be so uncertain about yourself but it can and most likely will work. tell her you want to please her and want to have experiences with her but you are nervous… take it slow, you guys will get there. she will understand. I wish the best for you both, stay strong my friend and good luck
Behaviour like this starts when people show their true habits and personality in a relationship. Why on earth didn't you live together for 8 years???
Things my ex did after he got comfortable… – started driving whilst watching a movie on his ipad in the car…like as in, while he's behind the steering wheel, car in motion 60 miles per hour. – stopped washing his privates with soap – stopped cutting toe nails – ignoring or putting pets in danger – becoming unemployed
It's an addiction your gf has, most likely not benadryl…and she should speak to a Dr if she's got health concerns which have her on medication for literally years
In the year 2023 you are unsure if you should continue to date someone who is overtly and unapologetically racist? How is this a question? He is not an 'all around good guy'. He is racists, he knows better and so do you. Don't lower your standards. People will judge you forever by the company you keep. Also, being complicit / complacent logically allows people to draw the conclusion that YOU are a racist too.
Get yourself set up and a way out. Then, ghost. leaving an email saying this is the only way I'll communicate. It's extreme, but it's the best way not to get gaslit.
Right? I was just about to say this, welcome to the team lol
He is. You will have to decide what you want and are capable of doing.
This is not a single issue. How your family unit will approach your outside family is a real ongoing issue you will face. You need to have the same discussion many people have when their parents are old and sick and need support, now.
Have you considered setting a boundary for his family? If he sets this tone with your family, then he must match this tone with his own. Like, if we aren't willing to help my sick sister, then expect that when your parents age, they will not be welcome to move in with us and their care will need to come fully from their estate.
This is not in a tit for tat way. I would be absolutely furious if someone wanted me to be a full time nurse to their sick parent in 10 or 15 years after refusing to let me take care of my own family. I would be off to divorce court. He may not feel the same way about his own family. If he says he is, get a postnup that spells out this agreement. If he acknowledges he would want something different for his family, open the discussion of what that means and why your family is different. And see if there is a common ground that you can find.
As someone with 3 schizophrenic aunts, if you are in the US, you either take care of your family or they will end up homeless without treatment. I don't know if I could stay with a man who demanded me to leave a sibling to homelessness unless they were violent.
This guy is old and playing games
You are welcome so much. You can DM or Reddit chat me if you ever want to talk. I am happy if these suggestions work for you. Best to you. Hugs to you.
We can be as humanising as we want. But let’s all just cut the bullshit and admit that some people are higher class than others? I’m not saying at all that includes me. Maybe I’m on the lower end and that’s why I’m single. But it’s rubbish to say we’re all equal in that way
first off man i feel for you… thats a horrible thing to have had done to you as a child… im glad you got out… ok now is the time to be honest with her… set her down, you obviously like this girl (2 years dating) and she obviously loves you. she was upset bc she thought “tonight is going to be the night” after how good you treated her.
anyway… sit her down, explain that you are very nervous of what she will think of your body, that you have anxiety of showing her your body because as a child you were hurt. Tell her it all works (as i think it does at least) and that you feel ashamed or are worried that you are not perfect for her. Explain to her what was done to you… explain to her your true feelings on her and your relationship… if she loves you, and it sounds like it, then it wont matter if you have scars… she will love you either way.
I know its hard, i know its a scary position to make yourself vulnerable with someone you love and be so uncertain about yourself but it can and most likely will work. tell her you want to please her and want to have experiences with her but you are nervous… take it slow, you guys will get there. she will understand. I wish the best for you both, stay strong my friend and good luck
Behaviour like this starts when people show their true habits and personality in a relationship. Why on earth didn't you live together for 8 years???
Things my ex did after he got comfortable… – started driving whilst watching a movie on his ipad in the car…like as in, while he's behind the steering wheel, car in motion 60 miles per hour. – stopped washing his privates with soap – stopped cutting toe nails – ignoring or putting pets in danger – becoming unemployed
It's an addiction your gf has, most likely not benadryl…and she should speak to a Dr if she's got health concerns which have her on medication for literally years
I honestly wouldn't be able to stop laughing. ??
Yeah, pass her up. If she ain't that excited about you, she ain't worth the effort.
Okay I encourage you to go tell some teenagers they don't understand sex jokes
Does she have a spare key at home? Go down there and steal her car and drive it home.
In the year 2023 you are unsure if you should continue to date someone who is overtly and unapologetically racist? How is this a question? He is not an 'all around good guy'. He is racists, he knows better and so do you. Don't lower your standards. People will judge you forever by the company you keep. Also, being complicit / complacent logically allows people to draw the conclusion that YOU are a racist too.
Yeah technically they aren’t married (according to the church) if they never had sex
I don’t condone the aggressive name calling but OP he has a point.
One who two consenting adults are friends with is no one’s business
Two
That’s hypocritical asf
Yes! Stop this. You are just going to get hurt. And use birth control.
I never thought about it being abusive but I can see how it can progress in the future. Thank you for that insight!
Just. Give. Him. Divorce. Papers.
Get yourself set up and a way out. Then, ghost. leaving an email saying this is the only way I'll communicate. It's extreme, but it's the best way not to get gaslit.