Trust me, dude is going to poop himself with the happy.
If you want to add in little things, that's fine. But I would really suggest that they be less/not material. A hand made card, personalized. Maybe a little wallet sized drawing if you like doing that kind of thing. The silly little love coupons. Stuff that's about expressing the love you have more than the things themselves.
But yeah, in terms of purchased gifts, you nailed it already. It's something he wouldn't buy for himself, something he's excited about and eager for.
But! Hide what it is. Put it in a second box, or give it a partial wrap and then tape things to the outside to change the dimensions/shape, and wrap it pretty then.
Engaging in sexual activity in front of a child IS child sexual abuse. I’m reading more of your comments and my heart is breaking for you and your son, and I am so in awe of your strength. You are kicking ass! I wish my own mother had been strong enough to protect me like this!
DO NOT sell your house. Someone would have to pay me 10x the value at this point to get me to sell my house with my 2.3% interest rate and if you have anything close to that it would be the dumbest thing you could do right now.
Like you said, you haven't been together that long and if you break up you are the one who would be royally screwed.
Good question, and I don’t know honestly. I’m stuck between not really loving him and telling myself to just wait and hoping I eventually will. Thanks for your reply.
At this point, based on her actions, I would definitely say he needs to put some space between them. I will give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he’s just trying to be nice to her and isn’t cheating, but he HAS broken a boundary you set. Furthermore, he knows this girl wants more than a friendship. Because of this, he needs to separate from the friendship (at least for now) and try to allow her some time to get over him and move on. Maybe one day, when she no longer has romantic feelings for him, they can be friends again.. But for now you need to tell him it’s time to take a break from this friendship, if not then you need to break up with him. This current dynamic is not fair to you.
Tell him how you feel, openly and honestly. It's not about making him feel bad, it's about making yourself heard. The conversation will bring the tension to the surface and it will be hard, but if your relationship is going to survive this, he needs to see how you feel.
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below.
Most of the context is in the title. A little bit more information. We have been on and off again over the years and in one of these on and off phases, that Ex in particular has been at the core of very complicated situations. We have been in a love triangle for a while, but since we got back together 6 months ago she told me that she was completely over that guy and that she didn't have any contacts with him anymore. That is why I am so upset to discover that she went out and had a beer with him last weekend.
She not only not told me about it, but she sexted him afterwards (even though he lives in another city, so meeting him again soon is not really in the cards).
She argues that I should be trusting her when she tells me there's nothing more to it than two old firends catching up, but the lies and the fact that I had previously stated unambigously that I cannot bear with the fact that this guy specifically is a part of her life, makes me feel like she doesn't care about my boundaries and that I cannot trust her.
I love her very much, but I feel betrayed and I don't know if I am in the wrong for feeling that way and if I should be giving her the benefit of the doubt and just be moving forward.
If him and his friend got a dick piercing and showed each other, I’d be pretty concerned
Little boy, there is zero evidence to indicate that she cheated. You invented this assumption and grew it into a delusion.
Trust me, dude is going to poop himself with the happy.
If you want to add in little things, that's fine. But I would really suggest that they be less/not material. A hand made card, personalized. Maybe a little wallet sized drawing if you like doing that kind of thing. The silly little love coupons. Stuff that's about expressing the love you have more than the things themselves.
But yeah, in terms of purchased gifts, you nailed it already. It's something he wouldn't buy for himself, something he's excited about and eager for.
But! Hide what it is. Put it in a second box, or give it a partial wrap and then tape things to the outside to change the dimensions/shape, and wrap it pretty then.
Engaging in sexual activity in front of a child IS child sexual abuse. I’m reading more of your comments and my heart is breaking for you and your son, and I am so in awe of your strength. You are kicking ass! I wish my own mother had been strong enough to protect me like this!
DO NOT sell your house. Someone would have to pay me 10x the value at this point to get me to sell my house with my 2.3% interest rate and if you have anything close to that it would be the dumbest thing you could do right now.
Like you said, you haven't been together that long and if you break up you are the one who would be royally screwed.
Nicely said. And your preferences don’t always have to make sense. Bringing it up in arguments would get tiresome.
You’re with a 25 year old……
Good question, and I don’t know honestly. I’m stuck between not really loving him and telling myself to just wait and hoping I eventually will. Thanks for your reply.
At this point, based on her actions, I would definitely say he needs to put some space between them. I will give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he’s just trying to be nice to her and isn’t cheating, but he HAS broken a boundary you set. Furthermore, he knows this girl wants more than a friendship. Because of this, he needs to separate from the friendship (at least for now) and try to allow her some time to get over him and move on. Maybe one day, when she no longer has romantic feelings for him, they can be friends again.. But for now you need to tell him it’s time to take a break from this friendship, if not then you need to break up with him. This current dynamic is not fair to you.
You lack the full context of the contents of the text messages we have exchanged. But your opinion is of course yours to share.
Tell him how you feel, openly and honestly. It's not about making him feel bad, it's about making yourself heard. The conversation will bring the tension to the surface and it will be hard, but if your relationship is going to survive this, he needs to see how you feel.
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below.
Most of the context is in the title. A little bit more information. We have been on and off again over the years and in one of these on and off phases, that Ex in particular has been at the core of very complicated situations. We have been in a love triangle for a while, but since we got back together 6 months ago she told me that she was completely over that guy and that she didn't have any contacts with him anymore. That is why I am so upset to discover that she went out and had a beer with him last weekend.
She not only not told me about it, but she sexted him afterwards (even though he lives in another city, so meeting him again soon is not really in the cards).
She argues that I should be trusting her when she tells me there's nothing more to it than two old firends catching up, but the lies and the fact that I had previously stated unambigously that I cannot bear with the fact that this guy specifically is a part of her life, makes me feel like she doesn't care about my boundaries and that I cannot trust her.
I love her very much, but I feel betrayed and I don't know if I am in the wrong for feeling that way and if I should be giving her the benefit of the doubt and just be moving forward.
Help please.