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TheFoxAndTheWolf, 31 y.o.
Location: Nevada, United States
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Online Live Sex Chat rooms TheFoxAndTheWolf
Date: October 29, 2022
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I agree. I have an issue with relapsing, i'm being manipulated to come back to him and his words get to me. But that has to stop.
I'm trying my best not to see what he's doing, not talking, deleting him. And also improving myself that I am amazing.
Who tf brings someone they just met to the Bahamas lol you’re brave brother you should leave her she was shit talking you and what they say to their friends is the truth forget this broad and move on it ain’t worth it
Hello, I have Bipolar 1 Disorder and have struggled with hypersexuality that contributed to (but not caused) me straying from my marriage.
My perspective is that it's all a bunch of bullshit. Full stop. And that's coming from someone who's been there.
Yes, hypersexuality is a real thing. You feel like your genitals are powered by jet fuel and you can't possibly just turn it off; you have to wait until you eventually run out of gas. This hypersexuality combined with the increased self confidence, reduced inhibitions, and poor impulse control can absolutely contribute to poor decision making that can hurt our loved ones, because it's easier (in our minds, and this thought process is not based in reality) to justify those choices in the heat of the moment.
But none of this justifies following through with that toxic cocktail of events. I'll admit, I tried to justify my actions to my husband for a long time in the same way that your husband is trying to justify them to you now. That's how I know it's all a farce. Hypersexuality be damned. I hurt my husband because I made the choice to ride the wave when I should have been made the choice to stay in the sand. And taking ownership of our choices is the first major step in facilitating healing.
The second major step is to develop a game plan to break the cycle to insure that these choices aren't made again. This is extremely important because of how easy it is to want to make these choices a subsequent time. When the brain spirals into mania or hypomania, the neural pathways for these events are reinforced. It becomes the path of least resistance over time. That's why people say that untreated bipolar gets worse over time. The brain will (in the absence of the game plan) pick this path over and over again.
What does a good game plan look like? Individual results do vary but generally a combination of medication management and therapy is the gold standard. Proper medication can help take the edge off of hypomania and mania. Therapy can help process triggers and work through the storm, so to speak. I may also recommend couple's therapy for the both of you as well, if you two reach an impasse in your collective healing journey.
As for my own journey, I do still experience hypersexuality from time to time; often it is the first symptom I develop when I become hypomanic and it's the last one to leave. But the meds do help with that “powered by a motor” feeling, so the physical craving is not as strong as it used to be but it is still present. But now, instead of seeking validation from the company of others, I do things like take saucy selfies for him, or jump his bones with an increased frequency. (I do still need to be careful as to not unintentionally injure myself. Not even carpet burn is compelling enough to stop in the heat of the moment.) Therapy has helped me a great deal to. It gives me the space to mull through the problematic thoughts that contributed to me making those decisions, so that I don't make them again. Some of these thoughts include feeling like I settled down too soon, or feeling like I'm unhappy with my husband for not paying attention to me so I'll give my attention to someone else who may appreciate it more. Now I can see that those above thoughts are not true even in the heat of the hypomania and even if they were, it isn't an excuse to do hurtful things.
I have hope that your husband can get better, but he has to take the lead and do better to be better. I can't speculate on the state of your relationship too much though. Only you can decide if these events are a deal breaker, and you would be well within your right if you did. But I can absolutely guarantee that this is not a problem that will get better on its own. Your husband has to fully take ownership of his shitty and entitled mentality, make proper amends with you, and show you with his actions that he is sorry by developing and sticking to a conscious and intentional plan to do the right thing even when his judgment is clouded.
Good luck to you both.
Honestly youre making a mountain out of a molehill. Your bf turned them down and said they were taken. He did the right thing and now youre looking to twist it into something bad.
I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels this way, but…. That's damn nasty!!
This is even worse than her being attracted to him. She is doing this just for the boost of ego and the sense of power and will dump him if he falls for her.
How is she still your friend?
I’ll add to this, we met when I was 18, completely drunk and couldn’t remember much of the night. He was 24. I gave him a condom (we where at my house) and it was a one night stand. He said to me (according to him) that he said to me half way through “btw I won’t finish because I can’t with a condom” and I made a backhanded comment of “well no one forced you” (again I cannot remember this conversation) but he just took the condom off. After it was always “well other girls didn’t make me” and tbh I felt he’d leave me if I said he had to. Furthermore, I texted my friend in the morning seeing the condom on the floor saying “at least we wore protection” which evidently not the case. More my point is, that if he had always been ok with condoms, this may have been prevented and even if he had caught it with a condom I would have more of the thought process of “this was inevitable and is what it is”. It’s more the aspect that he just did what he wanted to do (which does increase the risks) and it’s now taken my last games and potentially job away from me
I've always felt great initially after breaking up with someone, it's the adrelanine, sometimes there's a crash later on. So don't be alarmed if things seem to take a turn at some point. It's normal when you're processing. But enjoy the high, hope it lasts!
How is his relationship with his mother?
You do you,
But I've just realised how delightfully relaxing this sounds.