There’s no way you DONT KNOW whether or not this is abusive. You know it is! Be honest with yourself. And then TRUST YOURSELF. You aren’t overreacting, this isn’t past trauma issues on your part, you aren’t the problem.
I’m very happily married. If my spouse, even ONE TIME, did half the things you’re describing… I’d either pack my shit – or theirs, out to the curb – and there’d be NO relationship unless and until there was literal months of successful therapy. (And I only say the therapy bit for my own case, due to the abuse-free marriage.) In your case… LEAVE THIS PERSON. He’s abusive, period. Time for some single healing time and therapy for you, to figure out why you keep doing this to yourself.
Leaves to have lunch and returns drunk in different outfit, did she hide the dress and heels in her panties as well
There’s no way you DONT KNOW whether or not this is abusive. You know it is! Be honest with yourself. And then TRUST YOURSELF. You aren’t overreacting, this isn’t past trauma issues on your part, you aren’t the problem.
I’m very happily married. If my spouse, even ONE TIME, did half the things you’re describing… I’d either pack my shit – or theirs, out to the curb – and there’d be NO relationship unless and until there was literal months of successful therapy. (And I only say the therapy bit for my own case, due to the abuse-free marriage.) In your case… LEAVE THIS PERSON. He’s abusive, period. Time for some single healing time and therapy for you, to figure out why you keep doing this to yourself.