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Date: October 23, 2022
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Seems like an unhealthy relationship to me. Why’s he going through your phone? You guys just started dating, haven’t even established a healthy relationship yet. And tell him to get over it. Plenty of other things will happen that will piss him off, save it.
Legal advise on reddit?? Bud stop making bad decisions and talk to a lawyer
I think it's pretty clear they both kept this secret on purpose. I'm not saying you need to break up with your wife, obviously, but some form of retribution needs to be added here. This is blatant disrespect.
It’s not about starting over. It’s about learning to love yourself again.
I think it matters if he ran the chatbot a bunch of times and took the best pieces or if he just ran it once and said “yep this looks good” without personalizing it at all or editing it. If it’s the latter I understand you being upset. That’s lazy and kinda shitty. If it’s the former, I feel like it shows him using the tools at his disposal to fill in his skill gaps which is the sign of an intelligent person who cares about creating the best version he can
Well, if you don't want one then don't have one, but don't you ever get lonely or want support when single?
100% agree. As a guy, I’d rather be dead than have this happen to me. At least I’d go out with my dignity.
I'd just throw in the towel your still young you had fun for 2 years minus the cheating. Just let it die, so you can find people who are better for each other.
Keep your conflicted feelings to yourself.
Your thoughts on marriage only actually matter to you and the person you're marrying.
That's not the problem. OP's wife asked what he wanted for his birthday, OP said what he wanted, his wife entirely disregards his wishes and wants to have sex instead.
How is this OP's fault? From what is explained, OP's wife asked for OP's wishes and ignored it.
I get that she did a lot to get the scene up, getting the kid away, getting in the mood and all. But OP didn't ask for that, OP already told her what he wanted.
Don't date again until you've done some work to heal. So sorry, OP. It's not fair to a future partner to not be trusting just because of what your ex did. I have a male best friend (have known for many, many years) and would not accept a man who expected me to leave this friendship. And am also faithful to my partner, who shares the friendship.
That’s how I feel.
Please read the edit and respond with any advice. Thank you!
Communication is a two way street. You're ignoring what she's saying because you don't like her stances, is what i got from your post.
Learn to listen first.
It's his family's wedding, so he can tell her how much to drink and then act like a pissed off toddler when she gets herself another glass of wine?
NOPE She needs to dump him, he is an immature loser.
def written by the same person. both described it as a “novel” experience lol
My ex wife made similar claims once she started cheating. Made up all kinds of things.
She even claimed once that we never really were married, I just made it up. To people that were at our wedding.
I'm on the fence as to how you should feel as well. It's a tough one
imagine being so openly misogynist
Uh no shame in sex work but surely you could find a better client if you wanted it
There's honestly no point in giving advice here related to the question at hand. You're already emotionally cheating on her. You're already hurting her. Just break up with her for both of your sake.
I personally wouldn't trust it. It has been proven time and time again that if you cheat once, you are very likely to do it again. Not saying people can't change, simply saying the chance is small.
I never said OP should force her beliefs. If her bf cares more about watching porn than OP’s feelings, the choice has already been made and they’re incompatible ??♀️
Its his choice to cheat and lead the life he is having now..he is still lusting after women… surely not a good grandfather figure for your family…Im just afraid he will share those women details with your boys…
I would suggest not to contact him too much.
It's a tough call, but a very personal one. It is the nature of many men to commit to one woman, despite being attracted to many. If you are one of these, but can keep your commitment to her despite the other attractions, it can work. But only if she can accept it. Many women can't.
Like others said, don’t make major decisions yet. Don’t buy things as a “unit”. Don’t get a house or have him co-sign on a car cause your credit sucks or whatever the case may be. It’s too soon to tether yourself to someone. Now, that being said, I told my now girlfriend I loved her after knowing her for about a week. It definitely caught her off guard but idk I went though a lot by myself for a while and was really happy to finally meet someone. It took her a little while longer to reciprocate those feelings but she came around. It’s been five years and right now she’s asleep next to me. People’s experiences are different, people feel different. This is a hard question because I feel like people have this standard in their mind of what love is and how long it should take to fall in love with someone and they butt in your comment section with their ideas. It’s okay to feel anyway about love for yourself but you can’t down someone for falling in love quickly especially when it’s both people in the couple. So I’m sure most people say it’s too fast but that’s because THEYRE uncomfortable with the idea of falling in love that fast or allowing themselves to be vulnerable that fast. To me personally I don’t see an issue with loving someone quickly. The issue lies in what love makes you do. This person is new in your life but you feel like you love them and that’s okay, but don’t start spending all of your money on them, don’t give them grandpas old ring or whatever sentimental family items you have (for me it’s a very old ring that belonged to my great grandmother). Don’t start paying their bills or buying their groceries. Love them but allow some room for yourself so if you get hurt, at least you don’t get important things stolen or your car impounded. I just realized how long this is I’m so sorry but I’m sending it anyway, I put too much time into this to delete it.
Are you kidding me now? A lie is a lie and it is manipulation. His gf is just egoistic, she didn't tell him so that he didn't do the same with other women. If there is a lie there is always manipulation then why lie in the first place???
You care far too much about this, and after reading your replies, it seems to come from a place of envy – you've been with your partner for four years and not married, so why should they get married?
My brother got married after only a couple of years, I was concerned it was a big step but ultimately I was happy for him and I certainly wasn't concerned enough to take to Reddit to get outside validation.
Lots of jumping to conclusions. Your post reeks of jealousy. Perhaps she wants to plan something for you and needs his help to do it?
I'm just saying let's not overreact
Wow
“No throwaway because I'm too lazy and I genuinely don't care.”
Proceeds to write a long paragraph with no breaks to show how much she doesn't care.
Without even reading this I can tell that you're at least half the problem and probably need some sort of individual counseling.
TBH, everyone feels self conscious on dates when starting out with a new interest. You shouldn’t worry about anything, just go have fun. Confidence is an amazing trait that people migrate to. Don’t ever be worried about how people see you, if they don’t like you it’s there mistake and loss.
Everyone’s skin is dry in the winter. Be proud of what god gave you, so your Jeans are snug, and are revealing your assets, front and back, own it. You got this, enjoy your date. Don’t worry about anything, but having a good time enjoying time spent with someone your on a date with, and wants to be with you.
No, most guys are not like that. Of my siblings, my brother is much tidier than my adhd ass. I'm not gross, but I'm not meticulous either. And a lot of other guys I know are the same.
It's also fucking amazing your advice is to essentially do MORE work as if this is her fault and her problem. I feel badly for any partner you have. What a tool.
Major red flags. It’s projection and I believe he may have a history of violence himself. I wouldn’t be surprised if he has a restraining order or two in his background. I once jokingly threw a pair of socks at my ex husband. He accused me of violence. ? He brought it up multiple times, and a couple years later he started telling me he wanted to hit me / kick my teeth in. These people tell on themselves with their accusations.
At the very least, even if he doesn’t have a propensity for violence (which I doubt bc he’s already started restraining you) he isn’t very emotionally stable.
You've been spamming this post since yesterday. It's okay. You're very much overthinking it. Log off, drink some water, and watch some Netflix or something to take your mind off it.
First thing don’t do it , second thing, don’t do it , 3rd thing if you have to do it , concentrate on your wife n not the 3rd wheel , or you will never hear the end of it
Can you recreate the group chat and just ask them why he would want to keep you away? Tell them everything that happened and ask. It's awkward for you and very embarrassing for him but it's more important that you get answers at this point. Your marriage is in serious jeopardy.
I haven't gone through something similar aside from pregnancy. At around the last month I became fairly anxious about things in general. I triple checked locks, faucets, the water tank, the heater, was the oven on or the microwave door ajar? In regular times those things may irritate me but even when our hot water tank blew I was reasonably calm. Everybody talks about the nesting phase like it's this fun burst of energy you get to prepare your space… it turned me into a nut job safety inspector.
Why don’t he ask his fiancée what she thinks of it? That’ll settle the debate. If he’s too afraid to ask it’s because he knows he’s in the wrong and is just trying to justify his actions.
Ugh. For real.
Father's can get PPD too! Maybe worth exploring with your doctor or a therapist?
You're going through a huge adjustment. You're 19, but you have way more responsibilities than most 19 year olds do. It's okay to grieve for the life you've lost, it's okay to grieve your late teens/20s, they are 100% different from those your age without kids and you won't be able to do the things you thought you could or keep up with them. It's rough. It's rough at any age (parenthood is hard) but your brain isn't even fully developed yet and now you're responsible for another developing brain – feel however you need to feel.
You seem to have your priorities straight, so don't forget to also take care of yourself