It's not just for the heck of it though? It's because she's unable to support herself and he wants and is able to help.
lie around and don’t do anything
Honestly yes, she could be a better guest and I wouldn't like her not helping with chores etc. That's not really your business though, that again is something her host (which again, is not you) decides whether or not they're ok with.
And do you know that she will 'lie around and do nothing' when she gets to the point where she can apply for jobs? No, you don't
I think you just need to figure out what you want and don't want in a partner. I was with someone who couldn't be sober basically ever and to be honest it did cause problems that led to a breakup. Mostly because it went from weed, to weed+alcohol then eventually eventually sprinkled in cocaine use also. I can tell it's bothering you obviously but the question is is it a deal breaker for you? Explore yourself and find out.
If you’re showing her a reddit post for an issue in your relationship because you’re trying to convince her of your POV-you’re taking relationship advice.
Nah, don't let him blow smoke up your ass. If he can have platonic female friends, you can have male platonic friends and his boundary on the issue is bullshit and controlling (a description I barely ever agree on in these threads) because, if he was such an amazing judge of character he wouldn't even have the crutch of being cheated on… more than once… to lean against.
I dont know if it's shameful to get divorced in an arranged marriage, but fuck man. If it's living in shame or not living all. Please please think of your family. Not this witch who will be the death of you, but your blood family. L don't let her ruin all your lives.
I thought that you just had to be attracted to each other and friends. Friends already like each other's qualities so I don't understand what else there has to be.
His logic is weird. He watches porn, but I assume he wouldn't make it himself. Why would you listening to porn indicate you would be the kind of girl that make it then?
I'm curious, does he have a porn addiction? I was in a deadbedroom relationship and every time I brought up the issue, he was totally dismissive, like you said your bf is. Eventually, he came out as having an addiction(I had no idea. I knew he watched it but not as often as he did) and that he has massive anxiety around the idea of having sex, but it was weird how he avoided real sex but was also obsessed with it(not just with porn, in general). He explained why, but I won't go into it here because it's likely your bf's issue is different, but it was linked to shame.
It's weird that your bf lied to your friend about himself watching porn too. That's not something that bros usually lie about, if anything they brag. It sounds like he has a lot of personal shame and unhealthy hang ups about sex and is projecting that on you. He's pointing a finger at you and wanking with the other. Maybe him knowing you're interested in sex scares him because sex brings up anxiety or other negative feelings, so he feels the need to control you in order to manage those feelings?
If you do want to continue this relationship, I'd suggest starting an open and judgement-free conversation and asking about this. But please start with making it crystal clear that you will not tolerate anymore slurs. The next time it happens, you're out the door(always follow through). It sounds like he needs help, but at the same time, it's his responsibility to get himself help and build a healthier relationship with sexuality, not yours. Especially if he is lashing out and calling you names. Hopefully putting it out there for him to think about pushes him in the right direction though.
You dump him. Next question?
This is just sad, grow a pair.
I can guarantee he masturbates when you’re not around. You can do the same.
Please don't have a child with this person, it's divorce time.
Neither make your own views
just for the heck of it
It's not just for the heck of it though? It's because she's unable to support herself and he wants and is able to help.
lie around and don’t do anything
Honestly yes, she could be a better guest and I wouldn't like her not helping with chores etc. That's not really your business though, that again is something her host (which again, is not you) decides whether or not they're ok with.
And do you know that she will 'lie around and do nothing' when she gets to the point where she can apply for jobs? No, you don't
I think you just need to figure out what you want and don't want in a partner. I was with someone who couldn't be sober basically ever and to be honest it did cause problems that led to a breakup. Mostly because it went from weed, to weed+alcohol then eventually eventually sprinkled in cocaine use also. I can tell it's bothering you obviously but the question is is it a deal breaker for you? Explore yourself and find out.
If you’re showing her a reddit post for an issue in your relationship because you’re trying to convince her of your POV-you’re taking relationship advice.
Nah, don't let him blow smoke up your ass. If he can have platonic female friends, you can have male platonic friends and his boundary on the issue is bullshit and controlling (a description I barely ever agree on in these threads) because, if he was such an amazing judge of character he wouldn't even have the crutch of being cheated on… more than once… to lean against.
Agreed, you should absolutely get pizza for them tomorrow. Do not wait.
I dont know if it's shameful to get divorced in an arranged marriage, but fuck man. If it's living in shame or not living all. Please please think of your family. Not this witch who will be the death of you, but your blood family. L don't let her ruin all your lives.
I thought that you just had to be attracted to each other and friends. Friends already like each other's qualities so I don't understand what else there has to be.
His logic is weird. He watches porn, but I assume he wouldn't make it himself. Why would you listening to porn indicate you would be the kind of girl that make it then?
I'm curious, does he have a porn addiction? I was in a deadbedroom relationship and every time I brought up the issue, he was totally dismissive, like you said your bf is. Eventually, he came out as having an addiction(I had no idea. I knew he watched it but not as often as he did) and that he has massive anxiety around the idea of having sex, but it was weird how he avoided real sex but was also obsessed with it(not just with porn, in general). He explained why, but I won't go into it here because it's likely your bf's issue is different, but it was linked to shame.
It's weird that your bf lied to your friend about himself watching porn too. That's not something that bros usually lie about, if anything they brag. It sounds like he has a lot of personal shame and unhealthy hang ups about sex and is projecting that on you. He's pointing a finger at you and wanking with the other. Maybe him knowing you're interested in sex scares him because sex brings up anxiety or other negative feelings, so he feels the need to control you in order to manage those feelings?
If you do want to continue this relationship, I'd suggest starting an open and judgement-free conversation and asking about this. But please start with making it crystal clear that you will not tolerate anymore slurs. The next time it happens, you're out the door(always follow through). It sounds like he needs help, but at the same time, it's his responsibility to get himself help and build a healthier relationship with sexuality, not yours. Especially if he is lashing out and calling you names. Hopefully putting it out there for him to think about pushes him in the right direction though.
ok thank you for your input 🙂
It's easy to see why she chose you.
You're gullible and manipulate yourself.
What are you doing here?