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No, you shouldn’t. Your husband’s best friend is more loyal to your husband than he is to you. There’s no scenario in which this guy will tell you “Oh, yeah, I totally know your husband has been cheating on you and I’ve been cool with it, but now that you’ve asked me a direct question, let me tell you everything.”
Your problem is with your husband, not his friend, so you must solve the problem with your husband. The only third party you should be pulling in is a couples counselor.
No abusers don’t change. They escalate.
If she cannot have the happy ever after she will take everything she can.
Ex wives killing their children in Murder-Suicide cases start with emotionally manipulative and abusive narcissistic wives who refuse to take responsibility for their abuse.
You can live through the abuse.
Your children cannot. It will forever scar them and affect the way their brain forms. They will never get their lives before trauma back. That’s childhood PTSD.
You would be an enabler in their abuse to leave them with their abusive mother.
Nope, calling her a doormat who just allows stuff like this is victim blaming.
For someone to be openly this controlling, it isn’t going to be a first instance. And if it is, terrifying full bore. He’s been exerting this control for quite a while, I have no doubt. OP speaks of this in comments.
Yes, it's super common among crazy people.
The way to make her stop for good is to break up and do it now. You have told her to stop and she laughs at you. Do you really want a girlfriend who thinks it’s funny when she hurts you? She is immature and doesn’t care about your feelings. No matter what other things are good in this relationship, this erases all of that. Even if she didn’t physically hurt you, laughing at anything that distresses you is abuse. You can do better.
You are not ghosting her, Ghosting means disappearing. you are responding slower than she likes. Which is kind of bullshit as no one should be tethered to their phone.
Like another poster said is she hinting at moving in together?
She is so lucky to have been freed tbh
Bro you do not want a kid with this woman.
Neither of you are even remotely ready/capable of having a kid.
Best case scenario is she terminates.
You have no idea what the fuck you're getting into.
This is going to abso-fucking-lutely destroy your entire life
How long have you been dating? If it's something he's always done, maybe he was enjoying the attention as a single guy, now they have that dynamic and he doesn't know how to change it.
Pull a Georgia and drop by looking hot as hell and bring him a post workout meal or something? I wouldn't like it either. You could get an intro and be like “how's high school?” ?? Thank a bye to your boo, I love you babe xxxx but look good and have plans with girlfriends after
I'm pretty sure this is fetish content, and these are the kind of replies OP is after.
Someone thinks they don't live in a glass house.
Yikes.
Highlighting an issue with my partner over my compromised sexual health and skin condition, due to lack of understanding & action, is not at all hysterical or dramatic. Gaslighter calling the kettle black. No one brought up abuse but you, you might be projecting. Comparing your illness to my skin condition is a weird “who has it worse” olympics I'm not subscribing to. Your bar of having your needs met, in my eyes, is in hell. I could never. We have different standards & lifestyles, so your input frankly isn’t helpful to me. But you continue enjoying the bare minimum love.
he is allowed to, just not lie about it
This is a great reason.
I mean, for your wellbeing, I agree with your decision.
But personally I would have really ripped into him first. You don't have to be angry, just keep your composure and find what makes him insecure (not hard) then drive him absolutely up the wall, and stop taking the retaliation personally of course. I think we should be as kind as possible, but I do reserve an exception for those who blatantly abuse kindness and hold significant power over others. Mistreating him would either make him ill at his age or make him stop and cower, which is just as well. It's up to you but I don't find it a moral failing to mistreat abusers if there is no other option to protect their targets e.g. your gf.
Lady, looks like you are having a middle life crises.
Don’t do anything stupid because of fantasies of “if”, it’s only a matter of time to destroy everything and notice what you ruined for nothing or how worthless it was.
As a grown up recognize for what it is, and do your part to fix this. Before you do something you can’t fix…
No not everyone would read their partner's diary without permission.
Just telling on yourself- you're as bad as OP hon.
“I plan to talk to him again about this…” Bad Plan.
You've talked about it enough. He knows how you feel about it. He doesn't care.
“…and want this behavior to stop” Talking will not change the behavior.
What will?:
Walking (in the other direction) might.
Stopping (and removing yourself from a disrespectful situation) might.
Leaving (as others have suggested) might.
If he can't guarantee a minimal level of consistent respectful behavior, why stay in this relationship? Sunk cost fallacy perhaps?
Yeah, 11yrs in a marriage with a partner I thought loved me, only to find out she was bored and had FOMO of single life. Ended up serving her papers and am now happily divorced.
It was hard, because I had sunk all that time into that person. It was hard for my to not use sunk cost fallacy to rationalize staying and trying to keep things together.
Be with someone you deserve.
Get furniture sliders. They sell kinds for carpet and wood floors. I'm a woman and move almost all the furniture in our house since getting them. My husband has only had to help me when we had to move a couch into another room and lift it.
I’m sorry that’s ridiculous. It’d be ‘hard to come back from’ your partner getting too drunk on a holiday? She didn’t cheat on him or steal his money, she had too much to drink and needed to be taken home. It happens and, for the majority of people, it’s something to laugh about later and learn from.
Who wanted the open relationship?
I mean it's possible she got it ages ago and hasn't had any flair up. It's very common. I think if she has a flare up get her to take the tablets and don't have sex.
HPV has a lot of negative connotations and I can see why someone who hasn't had a flair up might want to keep it secret.
Your best bet is just to talk to her about it, find out why she didn't tell you, but just as an fyi soooo many people have it.
Oh come on. You can do much better than this guy. The next time he accuses you of cheating on him, cut him lose.
Get out there an find someone more compatible.
Are you sure he actually told her that? She might be lying to get you to dump him….
After all her lying/gaslighting I would set up a hidden camera. She's at the very least having an emotional affair. And an EA + proximity often leads to a physical affair.
Would recommend both of you read Not Just Friends by Shirley Glass.