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Date: September 27, 2022
It's weird to keep pictures of someone you are no longer in a relationship with. ESPECIALLY after you enter a different relationship.
Man this is a good one OP, just be blunt don’t bang around the bush you will just be so more harm by banging around the bush, just be straight forward and blunt. Gets the word and how you feel across real fast. Don’t se why you removed points from this person.
You need to sit him down and say you won’t pay for anything anymore so he needs to cut his moms access to his card or just do things with you that don’t cost money. His mom taking his card is not your problem, he needs to set serious boundaries with his mom and you need to set boundaries as well with your money. Tell him that from now on he cannot rely on you or your money, what if you had an emergency and you give them money and get screwed yourself? You can’t keep allowing them to do this to you. His mom obviously paid bills when he was younger. My bet is he does this to control him, he needs to change his account password and maybe even get a new bank card issued
Question, why did you proceed to marry this guy despite the red flags he had shown even before you got married? I saw your previous post, you already felt like he was acting fishy and there's a possibility that he had cheated, lied and kept things from you and most of all didn't care about you (when he left you at the hotel and didn't give you an update and he already said it himself). So why did you still proceed with the marriage when there was already a clear sign for you to think things through? It was an opportunity to get out tbh. Also, the post that you made about vaginas no longer being tight after giving birth. Why is there a need for him to say that if he truly “didn't care” which is utter bullshit if you ask me. Your husband is an asshole and you really need to divorce him even before the baby is born. You and the baby deserve much better than this.
Why are you dating someone who assaults you?
Hey. I am actually former navy and my husband is also formerly in the service in a different branch.
I understand a lot about this as we got married while enlisted and I also understand the culture of this in the military as well for this reason.
Here's the thing with our marriages 9/10 of them fail. We do exactly what you're thinking here and end up divorced a year later.
Long distance relationships can last. My husband and I were stationed apart for over 2 years. There is no reason that it can't work and you're so young, why not go that route first, make some memories, have some experiences. If your relationship can withstand that, then you know this is who you're meant to marry.
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I completely understand where you’re coming from. My husband has no interest in my hobbies but wants me to participate in his. I let him do his activities alone now and I do mine alone. ?♀️ it isn’t perfect but it works for us.
Thank you!
OP is hypercritical and grumpy, with a short fuse.
Wife is privy to this and tries to maintain an even tone as she doesn’t want to set OP off about inconsequential things. Also, wife sounds maybe genuinely curious about the applicability of thyme vs sage.
OP is hypercritical and grumpy, having had his short fuse lit. He accuses wife of not respecting him and for not being “genuine.” He runs to Reddit for validation and receives none. He cries in a corner, alone, before realizing his faults and buying wife a bouquet of beautiful, fragrant sage and apologizes for being a crazy muppet who thinks it would be better to have “direct communication” but undoubtedly would be furious and snap back at his wife should she actually implement what he considers “direct communication” (i.e., “Hey, I see you’re cooking dinner. Use thyme instead. Yeah, because I said so.”)
We haven’t been able to meet in person because he lives on the other side of the country. I’m going to be visiting him in the summer but can’t atm because he says he wants to focus on finishing his degree.
My advice is to proceed with the divorce and let her be. You have clearly caused irreparable harm to this relationship, which is a relationship no longer. She has asked for a divorce and is now with someone else. You should continue therapy and work on yourself.
So… you’re an introvert
Break up with her. The way you talk about her is disgraceful and she deserves better.
He isn't doing anything wrong. It sounds as if he is following a judge's order. He has told his attorney that he finds this objectionable and hopefully it will be brought up to the judge. Until then he has to comply. If he were to refuse, it could affect the custody arrangement in place. He really can't risk it.
If you find this too much to deal with then break up. No one can make that determination for you.
She is older than you are and should know better. There is no reason you should put up with this. You are being abused and you need to get out now. It’s hard to untangle lives after two years, but you need to move out or make her move, depending on whose place it is. Since she has only been out of work a few months, let her know you are not paying her bills any longer and she has to get a job. The only way to stop this is to stand up for yourself and stop allowing her to treat you this way. You are a grown man and she is not your mother. Only you can decide to stop being her victim.
That’s what I thought.
Yeah if this were me, I’d leave. I’ve let my partner know that if we’re a few years down the line and he still doesn’t know he wants to marry me, then why are we together? Not that we’d have to get married at that point, but he would have to know I’m the one. If that makes sense.
6 years is more than long enough for him to know. And if he’s talking about deal breakers this long into the relationship, why didn’t he end it long before now?
FIRST love, dear. First loves aren't meant to be our LAST loves. You're 21. I know you orobably feel grown af already but I assure you, you've got a FUCKTON more life and living and growing ahead of you.
And part of that growth is learning to walk away from partners that aren't compatible with your life goals. Some people that we date are only in our lives briefly bc they don't mesh with what we have planned for ourselves.
Your bf wants a SAHM/housewife popping out kids ASAP. If that's not what YOU want then that means he's not the one.
Pressuring your partner isn't love. Pushing at your partner is manipulation. Dismissing your partner's wants and life goals in order to get your dream at the expense of theirs is abusive.
Is that really where you want to be? One 'accidental' pregnancy will derail your entire future and a bf too selfish to care bc he'll have what he wants.
Learn from my fail: Married 10 years, together 16, divorced at 38. All because he was my first loooove and I didn't want to looooose him. Turned out that all he actually cared about was having a bio kid when HE wanted to. Don't be me that didn't find a truly supportive partner until I was 40. You deserve that NOW and your bf doesn't sound like he fits that description at all.
Enjoy your youth. Become an amazing nurse. Find a partner that is proud of you for all your hard work. Not some little boy with dreams of having you barefoot and pregnant so he has power over you.
No, you won't be able “prove” anything. And honestly, you don't have to.
His insecurity and trust issues are not your responsibility. He needs to recognize that he has a problem and take steps to fix it. But the fact that he's 33 years old and still this insecure makes me think he'll never take those steps.
As someone who dated a very insecure person in the past, I can tell you with absolute certainty that you'll be doing this whole routine for the rest of your life if you stay.
Is that the kind of future you want?
It's okay to regret a termination. It's okay to grieve the loss. You don't have to be happy you terminated a pregnancy. If it's not the right time in your life, it's just not the right time.
This is just trauma bonding. Your life won’t get better even if you do decide to cheat. Definitely consider therapy. None of this is ok.
You are blaming someone else for a decision you made not to follow your own 'knowledge'? And surely you are 100% aware that hitting ice can happen anywhere, not just because you went a different way? You sound insufferable.
My boyfriend and I were not each others first choices. We met in college, were friends and both dated other people. I wasn’t attracted to him at all back then. But the more I got to know him, the more I saw what a wonderful person and friend he was. I saw the way he treated other people, family, friends (including me), even animals. It changed the way I saw him. After years of failed online dating, I realized this brilliant, funny, calm introverted scientist was who I had been looking for all along. It caught me by surprise. He is the love of my life and if I could go back and do it again, I’d do it the same. Feelings change. Try not to overthink this!
This. There are so many versions of this, we should just clone/ressurect Joseph Campbell so he can write “The Rebound/Side-Piece with a Thousand Faces” at this point.
This dude knows he should walk away and sounds like he's known for 7 months.
You may of heard of the phrase “pushing shit uphill”?
Well sorry OP but you are pushing shit uphill.
Maybe find a girlfriend that is more respectful towards you. A girlfriend that accept you for who and what you are and is appreciative of the money that you do provide for her. Maybe find a girlfriend that is respectful of you and your relationship and what you do provide.
Seriously? I have septic. We have used them. Not to be dumb but what do they do clog? Not degrade?
Would you invite her partner if she were in a hetero relationship?
I'm not against your advice really….but keeping a deal breaker secret because you “wanted a fair chance at a relationship” is a very shitty thing to do. And if 18 was a deal breaker then op deserved the right to not get emotionally invested in a relationship before finding out.
Like okay, in this instance, it's 2 years. OP clearly wants to keep dating her and that's fine. But what she did was shitty and you seem to be excusing it because she really wanted to date him. That's not a good reason to lie to your love interest.
She loved the drama and didn’t want to have a mature relationship lol
Most definitely need to control the narrative