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Room for online sex video chat ZimaPaterson
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Birth Date: 1989-02-01
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Date: October 14, 2022
You're being downvotwd because people don't like the attitude you have.
You came to reddit instead of just asking the guy because on some level you know that showing off your own insecurities is a bad look.
Guy was probably a lil embarrassed you caught him with his less than braggable dinner solutions..
I did not shower with my kids. My wife showered with both of them.
“It is not my comfort level” was my response. It is how my family was. I could be naked in front of my kids when they were young. And bathe them. Doing both at the same time was just not in my comfort one.
To be fair 8400 text over ten months breaks down to 27ish text a day both ways, so 10-15 sent and the same received approximately. I have friends that's are chicks that I really hit that number with daily and have never been anything more then friends updating each other about families, lives, kids etc
Your husband is a gaslighting arsehole. Commit to a divorce lawyer.
Nah, I get it. I miss having a work place bestie. Those sorts of things just help the working day!
Plan b doesn’t destroy your system, it might make your period irregular temporarily, but that’s about it. I’ve taken plan b more than once in the past and my reproductive system was fine. I’m 30 weeks pregnant now & have a healthy baby, but I’m with someone that genuinely wants to be in my life and my son’s life. You’re very young, and being a parent, especially a single mom is not easy. You’re not stupid for wanting to keep the baby if you end up becoming pregnant, but you gotta ask yourself if you’re willing to go through the pregnancy alone. If you’re on birth control tho then you really have nothing to worry about as long as you’re taking it as directed. Like everyone else stated being intoxicated also doesn’t have any effect on it. I would smoke bud heavily & drink occasionally when I was on birth control & never got pregnant. Just tell them you’re on birth control, and use protection from now on
How do I help him through this rough time?
Leave him alone, Tell him you're there for him if he needs it and leave him be. Men do not solve their problems by “opening up” they typically solve them by sitting in their man caves and figuring it out piece by piece in solitude.
How can I make sure that my emotional needs are being met while his are too?
Understand that his emotional needs aren't met in the same manner as your's. This is such a common problem, men assume women operate similar to themselves and women are confused men dont resolve their issues the same way they do. We're different and the quicker we understand that the quicker we can avoid these miscommunications.
I don’t think it’s stupid but I think you could go on dating apps and find that organically ?
Exactly. OP would have heard about this already. In any case if she’s in a committed relationship why would she need a condom?
if i had the same problem before she was pregnant whats the difference? when she delivers the baby the problem will still be the same. so be in a unhappy relationship just because shes pregnant and ignore my feelings and needs completely? gotcha.
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below.
My (21)M and my girlfriend (20)F started dating in Senior year of high school. I had just gotten out of a “relationship” with a girl that had a very high sex drive. All of my girlfriends in the past had sex drives, but I had ended them all before having sex because of a combination of not being ready and wanting my first time to be special.
My current girlfriend is asexual. I swung the opposite way with it. In the beginning, we agree that even kissing would probably not happen, but I was still there for it because I loved her.
We kissed a few weeks later, and almost fucked one night a few months later. We were doing everything but sex pretty regularly going onto six months. At this point I had also decided that having sex was important to me in this relationship. I communicated this with mixed results.
The reason for the holdup is the fact that my girlfriend has religious trauma from growing up in the cult of Christianity. She feels this sense of terror and impending doom around sex. I understand this, and it’s why I’ve been doing everything that I can to help and support for her the last 3 years.
At the six month mark, we were at the point where she was telling me that it would be any week. There were several times that we got close but when I checked to make sure she was really ready, she wasn’t.
This continued until about the 9 month mark, when she went on birth control. This absolutely kissed her sex drive to the point that she will be comfortable without sexy time for months if I do not initiate. Even when I constantly initiate we peak a at every 2-4 days.
This continued for over two years now. We have gone backwards on progress, and now when I bring up the conversation it usually quickly ends with no resolution and me comforting her.
I personally feel like she doesn’t find me attractive anymore. Over two years of initiating and supporting has left me drained. I have negative emotions towards sex now and I find it difficult to feel attractive. I honestly feel like I am sexually assaulting her when I initiate. When I brought these concerns up, she broke down in tears and I ended up apologizing.
Tonight we talked about getting engaged. We have talked many many times about this but tonight was the first time that I told her that I was waiting to propose until after we start having sex.
Now she thinks that I only want sex. She has started folding my laundry on her own initiative (which I appreciate) and is saying that she is a wife on girlfriend salary.
The breakup of expenses are 90% me and 10% her. I do all of the cleaning and half of the cooking. She does the laundry.
Honestly I just feel so deflated. Loosing this argument won’t help the relationship. Typically I capitulate to keep the peace. I look like such an asshole in this relationship, but I’ve been completely supportive for over three years.
She wants to get engaged before we move in together, because she wants me to commit first. She stays at my apartment 5 nights a week.
Fire your advise away.
Aw man I sure hope it isn't the type of relationship where she's getting dragged along by a fuck boi in a relationship that he don't care about
Sounds like you resent her honestly, are you sure you can keep this up for life?
If you feel under appreciated then it’ll ruin you eventually, so really ask yourself if this is for you.
Talk to her, clearly define each others roles. If you can't have a conversation like that, you shouldn't be together in any capacity other than as separated parents to the child. Otherwise you're going to confuse the fuck out of the kid and make their life awkward and anxiety inducing
You told her, what you think about her actions. She doesn’t seem to wanna stop. You can’t really do anything else.
And frankly, as much as her actions suck, it’s none of your business. Let her fuck up on her own, and stay out of it
Finding awesome cuff links is hard work. Most of the ones I found were at best meh.
The monogrammed ones are some of the best you could hope for though. Unfortunately, the demand for them is just not there. And you do say they are nice. So she definitely put some effort into finding them.
It is weird she had “her initial” on them instead of yours. But then again this might be due to the limited supply of really good cuff links. So it might’ve been the best she could find.
However why cuff links? Does she have a thing for men and cuff link’d shirts? Do you like them?
How likely is she to be distasteful and inelegant in her manners? Unless you know her to be generally thoughtless in matters similar to this one, it’s highly doubtful she’d keep a gift from over a year ago to regift to you.
You leave without telling him. You get together anything important and either leave when he’s not home or call the police for an escort. Don’t talk to him about it just go. This is a situation where it’s on to ghost
Too traumatic for the children to have their mother abandon them.
This is the absolute WORST place on the internet for relationship advice. Divorce advice? Hell yeah! “She cheated? Sorry bruh, the relationship is a complete wash. Time to start strategically categorizing every aspect of your relationship and preparing for the imminent divorce!” These people are all projecting their own insecurities.
The majority of these people giving “advice” have never spent 5 years loving someone through all the growing pains; 10 years loving someone through kids, exhaustion and stress; 20 years with middle age, weight gain, and complacency; 30, 40, 50 years. Marriage comes with all the good and the bad that comes with being a human. You owe it to the kids to figure this the fuck out. Talking to a lawyer should be the last of your fucking worries. CAN YOU SAVE THE FAMILY UNIT? Or is it unreconcilable. ONS? Once? Get counciling, build trust, raise your fucking kids.
Life is hard. People make mistakes. You have children to think about.
I communicate this way and my wife is autistic and it drives her INSANE. I’m working very hard on not doing it because treating her like that is hurtful.
I didn’t specify what I wanted to try. I just thought doing something new might be a bit exciting
You can change that by working on yourself. Not being jealous or actually being happy for them. Finding things to do on your own and so forth. It comes with time and you have time.
True i am pretty high, and thank U for advice
Bro the fuckin test literally says how far along she is ?
honestly best advice so far
My parents have been married for almost 57 years. For 33 of those years, Mom out earned Dad. By quite a lot. It has never made a difference in their marriage.
I have been a SAHM for five years. Now that the small human is in school fulltime, I am going back to work. Any job I take will earn more than my SO. It does not matter to me at all. I don't love this man for what he earns. I love him because he has supported me, not just financially, but in every possible way, for the entire eight years we've been together.
I doubt that your girlfriend cares that she makes more than you. If she does care, then maybe she's not the one for you.
Why are you staying with him? He sounds fundamentally cruel and selfish. Is there something that makes up for this? You're not a brood sow – you're a person, only you get to decide what to do with your body. The only advice I feel conformable giving you is to separate and divorce. What he's doing is abuse.
Be careful when you go to leave. He sounds like he’s a bit mentally off and it’s unclear how he will react etc.
My boyfriend doesn’t touch me sexually ever when I’m sick and instead he’s getting medicine etc anything he can do to help.
What did your boyfriend do to help you when sick? It sounds like nothing. I would seriously reconsider this relationship because you deserve better.
If you had been together, even still on break, I'd have viewed the kiss as cheating, but you weren't. Not together = not cheating.
Rape obviously isn't cheating in any case.
I’d like to have SEX but I’m SCARED of the dark, can we leave the minion night light on?
Because I love her beside that. She has a fantastic personality, we are really compatible. We travelled across South America together and had an amazing time.
Not trying to bait anyone
I was 31f with twins, and the division of labour was also greatly skewed. That said, my partner was not in the slightest bit concerned, and 2 years after their birth, we were divorced.
I don’t have advice, but I do have insight:
(1) PPD can lasts many years after the birth of children, and mine lasted until around age 6, when I really started to feel like myself again.
(2) Antianxiety meds may or may not help. Being told to constantly go on them did not help. Being told I was crazy (though maybe slightly warranted) did not help. And being distant from my partner did not help.
(3) making a point to spend time together (not just date nights, and quality time with actual conversation) would have saved my marriage.
(4) Your wife is going to be a mom machine for a few years. Just keep reassuring her that she is beautiful, desired, cherished – that will keep her buoyant enough to get through the hardest years.
(5) with twins, they become more hands off with rearing around age 4. When kids become really annoying with the incessant chatter and need for attention, twins kind of do their own thing. She will have a lot more time compared to her peers rearing singles.
(6) Don’t “give” her time to do things. Instead, suggest that she takes time for her because she’s been working so hard, totally forgot to take her breaks and down time to rejuvenate. Don’t ask her to hand over control of task, but gently remind her that’s it’s your turn to tap in.
The fact that you are concerned about this matter bodes very well for your continued partnership. Keep connecting. Enjoy the chaos while it lasts. One day, you two will be much older, a few pounds heavier, and the house will be far too quiet. Be present.
Haha I am in therapy actually and I have very much stated this way of thinking is not healthy and I don’t like it at all!
It isn’t something I am both proud nor promoting at all, nor is it something I would ever act upon or share with the real world, as I am very aware it is not rational thinking.
It is just jealousy and sadness. Being able to express that and take accountability for that is if anything a healthy thing imo
Why does it even matter? So strange how many people in this thread are focused on that.
Because he aint horny enough
No, he's just an asshole.
He doesn't love you. You're a nanny and housemaid at best in his eyes.
Stop being his ATM or his mom. He's not “starting to be feminine”. He's using you for the money and to make you do every little thing for him.
Set some clear boundaries.
Glad you have it all figured out though. Thank you.
I'm not the person youre talking to but come on, it's an advice sub, you literally asked us for advice, getting snarky because someone thought they had good advice to give you is a bit extra.
Yes. You couldn’t go six months without violating her privacy. This relationship never stood a chance.
Not saying looking was wrong or whatever. But no healthy relationship would require you to do that. This isn’t gonna get better.
Thank you
This. My girl and I can both inhabit both roles, and sometimes there’s just no roles at all. Sometimes she’s a pleasure domme, and sometimes she’s a pillow princess. I think OP is a little overly concerned with roles here, personally, but also, she is entitled to her turn offs just as much as he is entitled to his kinks. If she finds it feminine and emasculating (or more importantly, that it not something she is comfortable with) then that is what it is.
That said, I would encourage her the same way you are, to simply keep an open mind and have a conversation with him about it. See where it goes.
Don't ghost people if they're not abusive and you're not in danger, that will just encourage them to try to get in contact with you.
Adding on to say I am not looking to get into a discussion. This triggered me and I’m looking to move on with my day and forget about this shit take. The best thing you can do in my opinion is delete your comment and learn from your mistakes.
I’m talking about the girlfriend of the so-called best friend. She had to go looking for her boyfriend, who had sneaked away from the party to get into bed with OP.
OP trying to transfer some of the blame to best friend’s girlfriend for failing to wake the two of them up is utter nonsense. Snapping a picture for evidence, sending it to OP’s now-ex, and breaking up was entirely correct.
And she said she’s not making those faces or sounds on purpose because she thinks that’s what you’d like?
You cheated on your girlfriend of five years.
You knocked up the woman you cheated on.
She miscarried.
NOW You are feeling all kinds of guilt and remorse.
You, because you are guilt ridden and FINALLY have remorse, you want to get in touch with your ex, the woman you had been in a relationship for FIVE YEARS, to “explain”?
How selfish and self centered, Op.
You are wanting to do this to make YOURSELF feel better.
Leave her alone, already.
I can objectively say this is a bad idea on all sides
If you're unhappy with your relationship then you need to end your relationship regardless of this other guy.
You can then make decisions from there.
Hey, bro. So it sounds like you are insecure, and that is okay to admit. But it's also something to work on. Well, I'm guessing it's insecurity based on the context you've provided.
What you should do is ask yourself and figure out why you feel this way. A majority of the time it's trust issues. You don't trust her and that's something you can work on.
Is the friend a guy or a girl? Is your girl bi? Are they drinking privately or at a bar? Give us more context.
Remember. If she was going to cheat on you she would. The drinks wouldn't really make a difference.
So follow up using the proper legal channels. Get some documentation so you can protect the kid. Complaining to strangers on the internet about your poor choice of baby daddy isn’t gonna help.
I think it’s a false equivalency and they’re platonic friends. Why does it matter if she’s bi or not? This is her best friend. Do you trust her or not?
This is a couples therapy stat situation. You guys are not hearing each other.
Remind him you guys are on the same team not enemies.
You tell him dead in his face he raped you & you leave. There’s no way in HELL he thought that was okay. He is using your weakness against you & using you, you’re worth more.
What sort of lawyer suggests destroying evidence on a public forum?
Good for you honey get tested asap, I'd send him a quick text before I blocked him for good.
Your mother will be coming to look after your dog as I am 100% done with you.
“I saw everything how you been hooking up with other women and prostitutes, I am absolutely disgusted with you, Do not try and contact me as you are being blocked, if you attempt to come near me or my apartment I will inform thr police. You have fu#ked it, gave up a good loving woman for a cheap thrill. I will move on and find better, while you'll always be a sad lonely man who seeks validation from other women”
Then block him everywhere. Tell his mom to come look after his dog, say you can't tell her at min why but he dome something you can come back from, and to also make sure he stays away from you when he gets back.
Good luck honey what a POS he is
Yikes …. Make sure you establish your boundaries so you don't end up in a situation you regret. Will you do anal etc? You don't want to have to make split second decisions in the moment. I'm actually kinda worried for you. 2 older men tag teaming a young woman with no sexual experience sounds like a very bad idea. Maybe try experimenting with sex one on one first
He had promised me that he would, but now I feel he us not making effort. And I just think he lacks the minimum commin sense to not do it infront of me. And he was acting like he DGAF. He wss trying to dismiss my emotions.
Is he getting too comfortable displeasing me ? He says it is my fault that I ruin things when he comes to visit me.
While i do agree, she is specifically asking about the female friends he currently hangs with. If there was something there before, she has every right to know about that, seeing as he may be hiding the true intent of their friendships or the “why” on them hanging out. I think its fair of her to want to know that the people hes currently buddy buddy with, are JUST friends, especially if they are in a strictly monogamous relationship.
I agree, it makes me feel like im not that important to him. But then again i dont know if im being realistic in expecting to be prioritized first so soon considering its long distance and his first relationship!
The bigger issue I see here is that you cannot come to your partner with something huge like this because you think they will react extremely negatively and not comfort you. This is extremely unhealthy. You need to be able to discuss these things with him and for him to respond with civility respect and compassion. He needs to work on himself because he has now created an environment for you where you are too scared to talk to him about “stressful” issues. That has to change.