I can relate though…something about emotional intimacy makes me crave physical intimacy…sometimes in less than appropriate situations.
These are my recommendations:
1) meet in public and during daylight. Avoiding seeing her in private will reduce the chance of you escalating things sexually.
2) don’t see her at night when your willpower is low
3) attention redeployment – when you find yourself wanting to turn things physical – focus on other things. For example, point out different features of her body language – her expressions etc. to bettter read her over time
4) be willing to take breaks. If you find yourself getting to heated just excuse yourself and go do something distracting. For example go to the washroom – and splash yourself with what. Play a game on your phone. Something immersive
5) focus on exhaling deeply – it will help you relax
6) plan your together time or structure it so that there are more activity focused things and not unstructured down time
7) avoid porn or other artificial stimulation because that can increase libido in some people. It also conditions you to want sexual contact as soon as you’re aroused
We weren't having sex, we were being intimate though, 3rd base type stuff. That's the reason she asked me “what are we” but it wasn't a few days before that these things were going on
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below.
I was visiting my girlfriend at her parents' house while she was home from university. We were playing a board game when her younger sister (13) tells the room of ~10 people that my girlfriend had a drunken rant about men measuring there members and also the size of my penis. I was very taken back that her whole family was aware of this and very embarrassed too. My girlfriend knows I'm not comfortable being so open with people other than her on this topic. I find it especially strange that this was a conversation with her family (however I'm aware that they are very open). She leaves the room to go upstairs as she was upset at her sister for mentioning it, however, she was the person to tell her family in the first place. I was sat in the kitchen with the rest of the family feeling very uncomfortable before eventually going to find her. She was crying, assuming I was going to be mad at her. I didn't want to make her feel worse, but it did make me upset that she would break my trust like this. Advice?
Yeah, communication is key, and I think that's a smart thing to do before going head first into a relationship in any circumstance. Make sure you're on the same page, have the same expectations for your relationship etc.
I'm sure if you had any specific questions or concerns relating to the age gap or toxic traits that might be common, someone would be more than happy to offer some advice and share their experiences.
Otherwise, I think it should be treated like any other relationship, you know? I wish you the best with whatever you decide do!
But for real at this age you’re not even considered step siblings. They may just be looking for comfort and move on to other people eventually. Just let them have this little bit of happiness No is sleeping with anyone blood related
Finances are the second leading cause of divorce in the US. You should really sit down with a financial advisor and a lawyer. You should both agree on what joint assets will be and what won't. Will you receive half of any future inheritance she receives? Will she contribute half for the upkeep of these properties? In case of divorce, how will finances be separated? What will be left to future children? There are a lot of issues you should talk about and agree on prior to marriage. If she is downright refusing to discuss this with anyone, i would not go ahead with the marriage. These are very important things to agree on. Don't put anything in eachothers name until after the wedding.
“You know, I just realised that even though we work together and all, I still don't actually know your name!” Although this only works if you work somewhere the servers don't have name badges on…
Also can we just point out that she was drunk, Hugh on ecstasy and the brother decided to hook up with her. Dude, you just don't have sex with anyone intoxicated and/ or on drugs. You just don't. You make out but then you stop because that person is in on frame of mind to consent probably. Which sort of validated OPs description of his brother as a garbage human.
Girl what? Leave……
I can relate though…something about emotional intimacy makes me crave physical intimacy…sometimes in less than appropriate situations.
These are my recommendations:
1) meet in public and during daylight. Avoiding seeing her in private will reduce the chance of you escalating things sexually.
2) don’t see her at night when your willpower is low
3) attention redeployment – when you find yourself wanting to turn things physical – focus on other things. For example, point out different features of her body language – her expressions etc. to bettter read her over time
4) be willing to take breaks. If you find yourself getting to heated just excuse yourself and go do something distracting. For example go to the washroom – and splash yourself with what. Play a game on your phone. Something immersive
5) focus on exhaling deeply – it will help you relax
6) plan your together time or structure it so that there are more activity focused things and not unstructured down time
7) avoid porn or other artificial stimulation because that can increase libido in some people. It also conditions you to want sexual contact as soon as you’re aroused
We weren't having sex, we were being intimate though, 3rd base type stuff. That's the reason she asked me “what are we” but it wasn't a few days before that these things were going on
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below.
I was visiting my girlfriend at her parents' house while she was home from university. We were playing a board game when her younger sister (13) tells the room of ~10 people that my girlfriend had a drunken rant about men measuring there members and also the size of my penis. I was very taken back that her whole family was aware of this and very embarrassed too. My girlfriend knows I'm not comfortable being so open with people other than her on this topic. I find it especially strange that this was a conversation with her family (however I'm aware that they are very open). She leaves the room to go upstairs as she was upset at her sister for mentioning it, however, she was the person to tell her family in the first place. I was sat in the kitchen with the rest of the family feeling very uncomfortable before eventually going to find her. She was crying, assuming I was going to be mad at her. I didn't want to make her feel worse, but it did make me upset that she would break my trust like this. Advice?
Yeah, communication is key, and I think that's a smart thing to do before going head first into a relationship in any circumstance. Make sure you're on the same page, have the same expectations for your relationship etc.
I did a quick search and found r/AgeGap and r/AgeGapRelationship
I'm sure if you had any specific questions or concerns relating to the age gap or toxic traits that might be common, someone would be more than happy to offer some advice and share their experiences.
Otherwise, I think it should be treated like any other relationship, you know? I wish you the best with whatever you decide do!
What about the kid?
She could have been pregnant before the sa.
He wants your forgiveness so that he can recover from abusing you. This is all about him. He could care less about you.
What are you doing step-bro?
But for real at this age you’re not even considered step siblings. They may just be looking for comfort and move on to other people eventually. Just let them have this little bit of happiness No is sleeping with anyone blood related
Finances are the second leading cause of divorce in the US. You should really sit down with a financial advisor and a lawyer. You should both agree on what joint assets will be and what won't. Will you receive half of any future inheritance she receives? Will she contribute half for the upkeep of these properties? In case of divorce, how will finances be separated? What will be left to future children? There are a lot of issues you should talk about and agree on prior to marriage. If she is downright refusing to discuss this with anyone, i would not go ahead with the marriage. These are very important things to agree on. Don't put anything in eachothers name until after the wedding.
“You know, I just realised that even though we work together and all, I still don't actually know your name!” Although this only works if you work somewhere the servers don't have name badges on…
Also can we just point out that she was drunk, Hugh on ecstasy and the brother decided to hook up with her. Dude, you just don't have sex with anyone intoxicated and/ or on drugs. You just don't. You make out but then you stop because that person is in on frame of mind to consent probably. Which sort of validated OPs description of his brother as a garbage human.