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Date: October 30, 2022
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Absolutely not. The con list is massive. Co-Parenting is the way to go.
100% this!
Yes lol seriously, it's completely harmless. Sabotaging a batch is like…really weirdly manipulative too.
Just see if you can approach him about more quality time together, if you can manage that and still have trouble with his hobby then it wasn't meant to be!
Just ignore him.
He is to old for you. Dump him.
Meh if I was his daughter I’d do the same lol why would a 40 year old man be with someone who’s brain isn’t fully developed? Is he okay?
red flag city
i recognize the difference. thanks for this advice. i’ve been emotionally independent for a long time. i think i’m a very strong person but this story has a lot more dynamics that i can’t even explain. i’ll try my best to be strong with this.
Every man has a thing for strippers. It takes an especially dumb man to raw dog a stripper, though.
Hi OP, it sounds like what’s bothering you isn’t this individual instance but instead the pattern of helpless behavior. Have you talked to him previously about establishing greater independence?
If you really think she wants a car you need to tell her that isn’t going to happen ASAP!!
I’ve read a lot of good advice here already, and I’ve read some of your comments too.
One thing that I’ve had a really hard time accepting: we can’t make anyone do or say anything. We can’t make them understand, and we certainly can’t make them think the same way we do.
I get that you love this person, and you just know that if this one thing changed, it would be okay. I’m really sorry, but it sounds like this guy is full on incompetent and I don’t think that will change. He’s not getting it- can you imagine him having to take care of children, or you if you were sick of injured? If he can’t remember to take the trash out and needs to be nagged for his only other chore, he’s not going to be a good partner in the long term.
I’m 22 and over partying. I’m focused on my relationship, my career, and my future in general. That’s completely okay if you aren’t, too! But you have absolutely no right to control your friends life, that’s not being a very good friend at all and I’m not surprised he cut you off
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Why are you with a 32 year old MAN-CHILD??? He is too selfish and doesn't care about you. You have so much going on for you OP, why waste your younger years with this old LOSER???
I never told him about that actually. I thought that it was because it's his personality so I didn't bring it up but I'm thinking about it now. I have told him other things in the past (that is predictable based on his personality) that bothers me and he listened and tries to change. I am afraid of telling him too many things because it would sound like I am criticizing him for the way he is.
This is an abusive relationship with someone who is a social parasite. The fact that he's unemployed and only cares about sleeping all day, eating food in your dime, and rooting around with you put of horny boredom, say volumes about the one-sided power dynamic in your relationship.
Your boyfriend is a manipulator and a bully. Of course you don't want to have sex with somone who is selfish, insensitive, doesn't care or respect you, and isn't concerned about common social norms. Of course you don't want to have sex with somone who threatens breakup to manipulate your fears of abandonment, when he doesn't get what he wants.
Step 1) break the lease and move out.
I strongly recommend you not tell your soon to be ex-boyfriend about your moving plans. Talk to your landlord. Lose the deposit if you need to. Pay an extra fee of you need to. It's a small price to pay to remove a slimy emotional bloodsucking leech.
Step 2) once you've moved out, read the book “Codependent No More” by Melody Beattie.
This is pure Seinfeld plot line GOLD.
I’m really sorry you’re going through this, and at the same time I am giggling my ass off. Like a reddit post hasn’t made me laugh this hard in a while.
It might be too early in the relationship to be able to recover from an embarrassing blunder like this. If she had been able to laugh it off as a wtf moment, which we all have, it woulda been your sign to marry her. As it is, I think your best bet is to wait, see if she can get over it, and if she can’t… laugh at yourself, shake it off, and move on.
Search penectomy. Warning, it’s a really, really tough read.
Spoiler: He and his fiancé end up as great as you possibly could if you have to deal with that. His profile update from a year ago had a lot of hope.
If it's so cut and dry, so innocent and she's so correct in every one of her actions, she'll have no problem telling her husband. So I'm curious, why is every comment suggesting the opposite?
Well, should she tell you or not? You're obviously a very important person in her life and she may not be looking for a “response” from you. So she's just telling you since you are the person closest to her. Else, you'd want her telling someone else.
OP claims her husband is a good man then goes on to describe a monster.
Walk away and find peace!! Go sleep on a friend's couch and get a divorce lawyer!!
On the one hand, ‘he doth protest to much’ on the other hand you have made up your mind, and you did imply something happened, and it probably doesn’t matter at the moment, and definitely not when you asked your question to him, what he said or did.
How trustworthy and respectful has your husband been in the past? Has there been anything to give you pause, even though it ended up being nothing?
If yes, then cameras, or forgetting something after you leave to come back and catch whatever is happening – you need more proof before you do anything permanent.
If no then talk to him about it, tell him that you just want to know what is happening, did he notice her going anywhere near the bedrooms etc.
The gambit of possibilities runs from she went in there to just be nosy through to full on carnal adventures happening in there. But the smell alone of her perfume is not quite enough to make a firm decision on.
Are you in NB, too? Holy shit last night was brutal! -46!
It's a lot more humane to start around their armpits and then move onto the stomach once the initial iciness has worn off.
I’ve prayed for decades. I’m open to fellow human feedback too. I’m likely older than you and at a point I want any useful advice I can get without judgement of the person giving it.
Stop cleaning up after them and deal with the mess or leave. It's not your job to clean up after your housemates. It's not your job to teach them how to clean. It's not your job to nag them to do it. They don't care and they don't care how it impacts you. If you clean, there is no incentive for them to do it.
Let’s focus on him being incredibly frustrated and doing something dumb rather than the fact you were arguing and verbally attacking him so much he felt the need to
Both of you need a timeout
Date teenagers, get teenage behavior.
Some men typically will sit on divorce papers and not immediately file them unless they’ve been done extremely dirty (such as cheating). If he wanted to be done, he would have paid for them instead of leaving the onus on her.
So you have think to yourself if this is what you want to keep dealing with. He’s not going to sign anytime soon, and you shouldn’t have to nag someone to do what they need to do if they were truly “done”.
you’re right. it’s just so tough it’s not like it’s only a month long relationship!
The way I see it:
Definitely cut back in what you tell your friends. Sure, although I don't tell my friends personal things like this about my partner or even a fling, I understand trying to have “locker room talk”. I don't necessarily agree, but it is what it is and men and women do it and it's generally accepted.
Understand that the relationship might take a turn. Not saying he's gonna call off the relationship, but it can take awhile to recover or it actually might never. Not saying you should've lied to him, but men have been persuaded that penis size is almost everything their whole life and sadly, it's not much we can do about it. Sure, the sex is great, but mentioning his size in that context makes it feel like it's unappealing to you or that you wished it was bigger to have greater sex. If the sex is good, why worry about size? You enjoy it. Isn't that enough? You basically told him you're on “team size” , but his “motion of the ocean” is good. Would hate for him to say that your vagina isn't particularly the best, but he still cums.
Give him his space. Apologize, but if he's not ready to talk, there's not much you can do. He's not going to give you a full hearted response until he's ready. Reassure him as best as you can, but if I'm being honest, this is definitely a low blow to him.
I wish you the best. Your friend might have changed your relationship for the worst because of her rambling.
Whatever these weird mind games are, this person isn't your friend and it's time to let her go. Yes, she's been in your life for long, but people change. She clearly did.
I haven’t tried specific trauma therapy. Just.. normal I guess? Lol I was unaware there were types
So you found out she mocked you and her response is “you violated my privacy and it was a long time ago?
I guess you can add disrespect to the list of unlikeable traits in your wife. I mean, what the hell kind of response is that? “Yeah, I mocked your dick size to my friends but you weren't supposed to know and it was long ago.”
That's some straight up bullshit.
Sometimes, people unfortunately fall in love with their friends. Perhaps, he’ll seek out friendship with you again once he’s sorted out his feelings.
It really is mate. You don’t want to lose yourself at the bottom of a bottle. It won’t change the reality and will only delay your recovery. Sounds like you have some good friends around you. Lean on them for support, not the alcohol.
The best advice you can get when dealing with men is that they don't respond to hints or signals. Just say outright what you want.
You're right that you're overthinking. If it's possible for you to get therapy, I think that's a good idea. You can talk about this with her, but you would have to be very purposeful in talking about your own trust issues without leading the conversation towards complaining about her ex again. Do you have close friends or family members you can talk this out with, too? I think you should think about what exactly you're worried about and why. Try to unpack where these trust issues come from.
It's not uncommon for people to be friends/friendly with their exes, although this can be done in more or less healthy ways. You were a bit vague about the texting situation, It sounds like her ex is initiating conversations and she's responding with distant politeness. Why is that a problem with her? As for the younger brother, this kid was in her life for 4 years. I think it makes sense that she'd be friendly with and care about him, even if things didn't work out with her ex.
All that gossip would have been quieted by them simply stating that the father of the bride had to leave because his wife had an emergency. Gossip is not a good excuse to make you feel bad. It's a terrible excuse and you definitely shouldn't feel bad about a bunch of gossips. I mean do you even know those gossips? Stop giving in to them guilt tripping you.
He definitely needs therapy to react like that to you allowing your own brother to stay over is not normal or good. He reacted like you allowed some strange man off the streets to stay at your house.
Couples therapy. She is still hurt and I don't think you have done enough to rebuild trust. Of course its not the same you hurt her terribly and its going to take some time to rebuild that feeling and trust.
Once in a while or every month on the month forever?
Personally I don’t see a problem using a professional, probably safer than just going to a bar, getting wasted and going back with someone you just met but seriously why have you got an escort saved in your contacts when you have a gf, that’s gonna take some explaining.
Your father brought a lot of suffering to the women he was married to. However, I believe that the only one truly affected is your mother. Mary got what she deserved, this is karma for the cheater's partner. And all the other girls? They are old enough to be responsible for their actions, and it is their business to be seduced (with their full consent!) and then abandoned by your father. I think your father's sex life should be the least of your worries. I don't think that an open confrontation with him will be constructive. After all, he didn't have anything inappropriate in relation to you personally? It's easier to throw him out of life and have minimal contact with him.Your mother needs your support, you have a brother. Let your father live his life, because you can't change him anymore.
Find a date to take with you. Problem solved.