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Vilu & Mi, 29 y.o.
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Date: December 28, 2022
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Then I guess only you know how to deal with the hurt that you’re for no reason asking this subreddit to help you deal with when only you can possibly know how to deal with it
You aren't the only one. Understanding what boundaries are would help more.
Boundaries steer process, and process, well processes. Processes can't work without enough of the right things in the right sequence. It's like a song. You need enough of the right sounds in the right amounts in a specific order to make a good song. Process is just the name we give a sequence that makes a result as a whole. A song is a great example of how boundaries on each end of the extremes of too much or not enough, like we see in good music, use limits to make something in the goldilocks zone between them.
Process uses restraint to make something of higher quality. Boundaries correspond to quality, systems theory shows us that, and the work of Salvador Minuchin shows us how to understand systems theory in the context of couples and family.
So that said, you're asking about gifts but you are really asking about clearer boundaries on access to the resource of “high quality reassurance”.
That's a tough resource to seek out with CPTSD, because from my own experience with helping a loved one with it, the intrusive thoughts are feisty and a bit like a tsunami. But every bit helps and like Minuchin says, clear boundaries are way more helpful in relationships most of the time.
The problem is people think of boundaries as just our personal limits, rather than the limits for a process. When you understand what they are, the restraint that creates process to enhance quality that fuels a relationship, it's easier to improve things.
She doesn’t enjoy sex with u bro
I don't what her issue is I mean she has friends on her facebook who comment on her posts. The people on Reddit told me she's just an old lady who needs someone to talk to.
Unless you have proof she’s unfit you cannot keep her from seeing her daughter. Sole legal custody just means you don’t need to consult her about things like schooling and medical decisions. She didn’t relinquish parental rights. Your daughter’s mother likely has a strong case to take you back to court over this given the age difference and the fact that she was practically a child when you had sex with her and got her pregnant. You are correct, your daughter has a mom and a dad, and a stepmother. Your wife has no legal rights over your daughter. It’s wrong of you to keep your daughter from getting to know her mother who did nothing wrong other than let a grown man impregnate her.
I’d assume the moment the popped in a child’s system CPS would have to be called.
If this is how you feel then he’s not your soulmate.
I think there is some fundamental incompatibility.
You have found yourself. You know who you are and you won’t change to make other people happy.
My limited experience with the alternative community is that it is a community of exploration. This is a group of individuals who have not found themselves. They aren’t comfortable in their own skin.
When they see you, someone confident and happy, I think they are just insecure and overwhelmed. I knew several people that thought that I was “overwhelming” and when pressed, it was because I spoke confidently and with conviction.
My suggestion is to just keep being yourself. If a guy runs away, then he is saving you time so you don’t have to spend time figuring out if he is compatible. Eventually, someone will meet you and rather than be overwhelmed, they will be intrigued. That is the one you want to spend your time and emotional energy on.