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It’s her gf’s job to keep him away from this conflict. But she’s only 23 so i doubt she’ll be able to that. I think this relationship is doomed 🙁
Yeah, this hurts. You need to move on whether she reaches out to you or not. The mail in the coffin is that she borrowed money from you to go on a date with another guy. Her lie was too big, and don’t let her pretend this is your fault.
You dont have to lie. Just say “I don't care, they're good enough for me” and maybe fo for a motorboat to make her laugh a little.
No need to lie, just reassure her a little. It's not difficult.
Give us some examples, not just your interpretation
I’ve read all the comments but I’m going to respond to this one since it’s the top one. Overall, I think I’ve been underestimating the situation because I have a history of anger issues, jumping to conclusions, and being irrational. I’ve tried to change that about myself.
The only thing I will disagree with is someone saying I should keep my children from my wife. Yes, she’s creepy for having a crush on this girl who she thought was 20, but it’s taking it too far to say she’s a danger to her 3yr old daughter. I am so overprotective when it comes to my kids and I analyze all their interactions with adults, because my biggest fear is someone hurting them. My wife has always had age appropriate relationships, crushes, etc. I know this not only because she told me, but because trust issues early on in our relationship had led me to go through her phone or computer without her knowledge. I’m not proud of that btw.
Other than that, I really have nothing to add except I’m relieved that I wasn’t overreacting. I was blaming myself because I had been “withholding” affection for a while before that happened and I thought it led my wife to desperation so she just wanted someone’s attention. Either way, there is no saving this marriage, for many reasons. I appreciate everyone’s feedback even if harsh, because it’s the reality I needed to find the confidence to end this.