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Languages: en,es
Birth Date: 1983-10-04
Body Type: bodyTypeCurvy
Ethnicity: ethnicityLatino
Hair color: hairColorBlonde
Eyes color: eyeColorBrown
Subculture: subcultureHousewives
Date: November 5, 2022
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Yep…..actually a pretty common male condition.
You are “riding the fence” as a way of keeping your mating options open.
Yes, she loved it. This is my fear as well with looking at other diamonds after she already had her mind set on one. I fear it will be a feeling of not being good enough everytime she would look at the ring and not seeing the diamond she originally liked.
Oh god really? This is a constant thing?
That’s the thing… I don’t want to let him go. I just wish there was something I could do, say, or show him that he can trust me.
I don’t understand why you think if your in a relationship you get to have Privacy. Would you be ok with your partner hiding ?? If you are, than your not ready for a committed relationship.
in addition to saying they’re just friends!! huge yikes
Eleventy
Or better yet, just move out when he's not around. Then tell him your breaking up
You declined his offer to take you to ER the night before, so I don't think this is about him not caring about you. Work can be pretty important. Was an uber not an option here?
Oh. That has to due with consent still? I thought people meant another thing when they used “consent”
Well, I think if you can't be in a relationship without sex, you shouldn't be in a relationship with an asexual.
Y'all having a baby that you're both gonna love and sacrifice yourselves for. That's enough in common right there. Build off of that.
Update me
I live in the US. I'm not sure how it seems like slavery and trafficking though. Our plan was to move out in January once we've saved enough money but I make minimum wage and his job search has been ongoing since we started dating. Without any money to provide for ourselves let alone rent he can't exactly move out on the get go.
I love this answer. I can respect the perspective hear. I'm hear to learn. This does enlighten me. She does not ask me to come visit, but she does enjoy when I come in. (Her words). I do tip her, it doesn't seem to matter? And, from previous conversations, if I don't visit it seems to make her feel I'm not committed as much.
I’m glad he apologized, but did he say why he said it? Is this way out of character, or does he often say things that make you feel small?
Nope. The mental agitation at the thought of banging them should quickly turn us to other thoughts, because it’s just as predatory and immoral as banging a child. Almost as immoral as banging your own child, some might argue.
Delete, block, and send a statement about how you do not want or asked to these photos.
Tell your parents
For the streets
This sounds like out of control binge drinking to me.
Would you consider not drinking going forward?
Sounds like she wanted to remain friends to keep tabs on you. Yikes.
Those are romantic gestures, and he has been making them for months.
I am skeptical of this guy. Why is he making romantic advances on a 20-year-old?
How did you guys even meet?
You’re way too young to be dealing with major relationship struggles. I wish I had known that when I was your age.
It would be nice it he would have been able to communicate this.
In this case I would tell him – hey you didnt have to go behind my back, we could have done it together.
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The only problem with waterpicks is that they don't strengthen the gums the way floss and interdental brushes do
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I think we are pretty malleable throughout our lives, especially when it comes to things like skills and behaviours. Principles and values only work when we hang on to them when they are most needed, but it is also worth reflecting on them and perhaps revising them as we learn and grow. The principles we are raised with might not be the ones we want to guide our adult lives, even though they were formative.
In the case here – the way you prize your memory isn't a principle or value. It's a – largely unearned – skill. It's not who you are, it doesn't need to guide your conduct, how you treat others, how you determine right and wrong. But it's like being a good public speaker – cool skill to have, sometimes useful, but on its own it's morally neutral. You can use it for good or to harm.
Go speak w a therapist who specializes in betrayal trauma and stop hanging out with her. She isn't even telling you the real truth about why she left. What she has done to her family is not ok.
Joking & teasing is bullying & it’s hurtful as we can see here . Daughters are more likely to take care of you in your old age . Now you will be blessed work two . Do not burn any bridges about having more children. In other words – neither of you should get any tubes tied any time soon because you may change your mind later .
They never said there’s anything wrong with being patient. Obviously we weren’t in the bedroom but it was fully consensual before he started and he said the problem was not frequently asking if she was okay during sex???
It’s okay that that’s how they have sex, that’s their business. It’s also okay if they’re not a great match and it’s still okay that she needs professional help. Trauma is something that plays a part in multiple aspects of her life, I imagine. She doesn’t seem to communicate well and I think they said eggshells with negative connotations around it but it’s not totally wrong.
Some people need eggshells around them and that’s okay, some people aren’t ready to navigate through them and that’s okay. You’re under every comment defending her which is nice and all, but it’s not like OP is some monster who doesn’t care about his poor, perfect girlfriend. They’re both grown adults and they’re not communicating and it’s a pretty mutual fuck up here tbh.
You've conditioned yourself big time here. It's totally unreasonable to expect sex from your partner every night and equally so you should easily be able to go days at a time without bashing the bishop. You say you need to be well rested but getting up at 2am to go stare at a screen is way more detrimental than satisfying an unhealthy, compulsive need to get your rocks off. You're in need of a major lifestyle overhaul.
Yeah that’s cheating
Hey, thanks for your answer, I am still hesitating about confronting or not coz I know that what I did wasn't a good thing either, and I usually hate the sneaky stuff, but I will surely talk to him.
Don’t send nudes. I don’t want you up here later saying someone is threatening to leak your nudes. Also, maybe seek some therapy for your insecurities. Your boyfriend actually sounds like a decent guy.
I know it's easier said than done, but try not to direct your anger at the therapist. For starters, you have no proof her therapist actually told her to do that, and conveniently enough you will never be able to uncover that because of confidentiality laws. But whether her therapist actually told her to lie or not is besides the point.
Your gf is almost 30. She's a grown ass woman. The reason she didn't tell you is because she didn't want to. Not because someone told her not to.
Yeah that’s a big one huh
She made her choice when you told her that you were uncomfortable. Quit trying to hold on to her and move on. It’s not a break but a break up. One of you keeps the dog and the other moves on.
Do what you must to get rid of the problem an switch to 3 month depo shot.
? lol
You say “I was about to go back” like you have the option of not going back. Maybe take that option, if you like the country you're in more, or something.
There really isn't much to tell you; you are now broken up and have decisions to make. Unless you share with us what you feel your all of your options are, we can't help as much to help you pick from among those options. So figuring out what your options are should be your first step, I suppose.
I feel options which include you not living with this guy anymore are likely to be your best options, but depending on a lot of variables it's possible staying there is better than your alternatives. Again, too much is lacking to really offer informed advice.
He’s a little crazy when it comes to me but who isn’t like that towards their partners ? He thinks of me like an angel sent by god and he doesn’t even believe in god
Can two people who grow in a different direction still be together.
Calm down.
And he's not your boyfriend. You can do better than this.
If you know you are young and dumb, you need to take that into account. By which i mean, take some time for yourself and just be still. Neither of these guys is relationship material. You have a bad “picker”, and it sounds like you have an issue just being single. Which is exactly why that's what you need to do. Give it a year or two with no dating. Focus on your child and building a career, maybe get into therapy if you can.
And keep in mind that a guy that much older than you is just older, not more mature, or he wouldn't go for someone so young.
so its true wat ur husband say.. ur being a drama queen.. making issues out of nothing..
he never even say he going to leave u or something like tat.
if u want to know then ask a direct question instead of fishing for answers which only u want to hear and get upset when its the wrong answer…
Marry her off to an aging royal from an obscure European barony to strengthen your own armies, then declare war on France. She’ll be thrilled, right up until she dies in childbirth.
Next time you see her run up and say pull my finger, then look deep in her eyes and fart as loud as you can, chicks dig it
Oh gosh. I would be out of this relationship so fast. Just from being ordered what to do…
Exactly!
Note to self: GF not cool. Hide it better.
That’s your decision but it sounds as if this isn’t working for you. If it isn’t then you move on. You’ve already tried to repair it but she’s not participating in the effort.
The lap dance by itself would not be a problem for me, (though ideally there would be a conversation about boundaries before the bachelor party) but when combined with a) initial dishonesty, b) not making you feel attractive or appreciated, c) controlling your spending, d) the hypocrisy of criticizing your spending after paying for a “lap dance”, and e) whatever happened in addition to the lap dance that cost $450, there are so many red flags.
It doesn't matter if it's projection or not really. Being controlling like this is worse than cheating
Out of curiosity: Why did you marry Charlie? There must have been reasons you wanted to be with him in the first place, beyond cuddles. Has only become forgetful about big events recently or has that always been a thing?
I write romance books and those guys in the books are designed to be as many women’s perfect man as possible. It’s pretty easy to do when the guy you are writing isn’t real, doesn’t have any real hang-ups, any real bad days, etc. It is also easy, when you are writing about the beginning of a relationship when everything is awesome and exciting.
You really need to pin down what is you essentially watching a James Bond film and deciding you need more excitement in your life and what are genuine long-term problems. Your husband’s lack of communication for example sounds like a real problem. Not dancing in the rain does not.
I agree with you here. Given the nature of your relationship in terms of communication, it seems you haven't exactly been negligent in terms of reaching out to see how she's doing. This is strictly about phone calls, which the two of you rarely have.
Separately, for your benefit I want to point out that you're focusing entirely on how you personally use the phone, essentially defending yourself. The thing is, you don't need to. The phone works two ways. Does she call you? Has she ever before brought up that she'd like to have more phone calls? If not, then her saying this now is completely unfair, regardless of the fact that she's sick. Anecdotally (and I know everyone is different), when I'm sick the last thing I want to do is sit on the phone.
You're right in that she's unfair to decide you haven't met her expectations if you've never been made aware of what those expectations are. There are of course expectations that would generally be inherently known in any relationship without needing them to be spelled out. But that's not the situation here. If you didn't reach out to her at all, I'd be entirely on her side. But her getting upset about you not calling when you never call each other? That's unreasonable.
Maybe her being sick could be used as an excuse and she's legitimately acting out because she feels like shit. That still wouldn't make it ok, but if it were a one off and she ended up apologizing, I'm sure it would be easy to move on. But you then say it's a pattern, so maybe this should be the straw that broke the camel's back for you. You can certainly sit down and have a talk about this to see if there's a resolution to be had. If she continues to hold a grudge, then at that point you have a decision to make. Good luck.
This is insane to me. Not every person is the same. Some people are heavy sleepers and could sleep through a literal tornado. Some people are light sleepers and could wake up from a child eating a potato chip 4 rooms away. Yes, it's bullshit your husband won't find another solution, but its also bullshit that you bitch about it instead of helping him find a solution. He can sleep in a different room, you can wear ear plugs, you could just go back to sleep when he leaves, he can have less alarms, he can a watch that will vibrate on his wrist, he can go to bed earlier and wake up at 4.
Like this is so fucked up and so American it actually finished and frustrates me. If an ALARM gets you this triggered your marriage is already over. He's not being “rude” or “inconsiderate” like others have said. I'm guess he wakes up at 5 to go to work and works what? 10-12 hour days at some shit grind job so he can pay the bills? Oh Lord have mercy on his soul this man is living a responsible adult life.
Just get a divorce and take 17% of his paychecks. When the baby comes he'll be forced to pay for that hospital bill too so there you go. Free income, all the sleep you could ever want
I'm not looking for any reason to get angry. I'm posting this to get some advice to see it from a 3rd party point of view and apply that point of view to get a better understanding of the situation. I didn't ask to meet any of these people bec my ex is extremely manipulative. If I were to message her and say, “Hey, I know you're dating someone, and before they meet the kids, I'd like to meet them.” She would screenshot that and post it all over social media and tell everyone that I'm all in her business and drag my name through the dirt even more than she already did. There's a lot more to the story outside of this. But I promise I'm not angry about it. I'm just trying to understand things alittle more
So then be honest come clean and deal with the consequences.
You continuing to lie is from the same root as you looking in her phone. Fear. Stop letting it control you.
Take responsibility for your own life
I’m not trying to step into the kids life as a parent right now because I know my place. We’ve talked about that bc she brought it up and I agree 100%. I guess I worded it wrong. I’m trying to ask if there’s little things I can do that would help, like looking at things from a single parents perspective. Also I’m sorry, but this relationship growing this way was both mutual between us, so I’m not asking for advice on that.
Im sorry the conversation didn’t go the way you were hoping it would. But it’s okay, you have a new life and a new family now, there is nothing you can do to change what’s happened so just focus on what you do have.
Well what does that tell you. It reminds me about a joke that was said in a speech about me on 30th year birthday.
“AC has been searching for a gf for 14 years. The problem is that he wants the perfect woman. When we asked him if he has found her – he said yes. We asked him why he is not in a relationship then and he answered – she was looking for a perfect man!”
I think you need to have a conversation with your son first. Just how is your wife with him when you are not around?
I'm not happy for her that she now out of the blue wants to resume contact with a racist she told me she cut ties with before we were ever even engaged
It's not out of the blue; it's very likely tied to becoming a mother herself and the complicated feelings that come with that, including re-evaluating your familial relationships.
It's difficult to truly cut ties with family, even for people who are victims of abuse. It's possible she thinks “Maybe if I show him what he's missing, he'll reconsider.”
Obviously, that doesn't mean your son should be subjected to a trial-and-error of figuring that out, but you need to take her seriously here and, together, come up with boundaries and ground rules for interacting with her dad. The more you stand in the way of her sharing her child with her dad, the more you become “the problem”; that's not what you want.
I'd suggest maybe counseling to help sort out your concerns and her conflicted feelings here and coming up with a plan that protects your children and helps navigate potentially being in touch with her father.
And she is still going on the cruise?
Why is he still hanging out with his ex and her family?
Please don't value the opinion of someone who is treating you like a piece of property.
I proposed because I knew that she was the perfect person to me and I love her with all of my being.
I don’t know why someone would marry someone they didn’t feel that way about. Marrying someone represents a lifetime commitment to a person and your feelings should be at that level.. yours do not seem that way.
Or OP is a huge piece of shit that hid the kids from their father. See, i can jump to assumptions with no proof too.
Parenthood is a very fundamental right.
I feel terrible for my bf. He was so upset that nothing went the way he envisioned, both because of weather/photographer not being present and the Sally situation. I knew he'd want a do over because its also his special engagement day. We talked about it a bunch and he cared more about how I felt than having this be our date, so he extended an apology and told me he'd propose to me with the real ring at a better date and asked me how I'd like to have been proposed to. I told him I wanted something simple and now Gina and him are scheming something up with mutual friends that were included in the original proposal plan (but were not involved in the birthday situation) while Sally gets on better terms with him. Maybe I'm a pushover, but I care about Sally. It's been an incredibly rough year for all of us, especially her and I know she'll eventually see reason but wow did it hurt. We haven't talked alone about how I feel, just about the situation so I'll have a discussion with her and take it from there.
He said he tried talking about it “a little.” So to me it seems like he didn't explain his feelings fully, and subsequently she didn't hear how he feels fully.
I didn't say that his feelings should be dismissed.