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Date: March 28, 2023
Guilt will make you unhappy and less fun to live with. Do your husband the best favour and forgive yourself. He will not enjoy your wallowing & soul searching.
You only want to 'make it up to him' to make yourself feel better about what you did ,which is a little selfish when he has stated doesn't want or need anything from you.
You can't do anything to erase what happened. But life will send you more testing times and afford you the opportunity to be even better than you are now. Looking back will only drag you down.