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Date: November 1, 2022
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That's not true either though, I am uncomfortable dancnig. That in no way means I find it inappropriate if people dance.
Cool story bro, needs more dragons.
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RED FLAG LADY!
I believe he would stand up for me, but I don’t think his parents are doing anything intentionally. I just need to find ways to become comfortable with it I guess. Culture shock maybe?
You're not and ultimately it is up to you and how much it really does mean to you. I just wouldn't like my partner completely dismissing and yelling at me for having a different opinion.
She also helped me here and there and is nice to be around, but she doesn't spent money (like a few grands) on me as close to what I have spent. That makes me doubt my own judgement because isn't it normatice for guys to spend more? But how much more I'm not sure.
Tell him how you feel. You are being taken for granted. When will there be a date night again? When do you get to have a meal together, watch a movie, share experiences with each other? Ask him if it worth it to lose a relationship because he only comes home to sleep? Tell him that he is working himself to death and for what? No amount of money is going to buy back the lost time. Then ask how he is going to fix it.
If he doesn't present you with a plan or time frame in which this will change, then tell him you are done. You have needs and they are not being met. Nor will they ever be met by someone that chooses to work rather than be with you. At that point he will have made his choice. Then you must decide what is best for you.
Minor Update: It's been a few days and Dad's wife hasn't even extended a thank you to me directly. She sent something to the GF but not to me at all. So, yeah – that sucks and is precisely one of the reasons I'm uncomfortable with it. If she hadn't included my name, I wouldn't feel kinda slighted now like I do. It is kind of nuts.
Please consider talking this thru with a therapist. It can be hard to reconcile that someone we love is in fact abusive, I've been there. It took me years from my first realization to fully accepting the reality and therapy was key in making that change. She never pressured me to do anything, just helped me process my feelings, find my own truth then figure out what I wanted to do and come up with a plan. Having a supportive person in my life who I could be open with was truly lifechanging. I wish you all the best.
No, you should not have told her at the party, but you do need to tell her.