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valeeriagarcia chat
Date: November 23, 2022
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valeeriagarcia chat
Think about it this way. If you have done the following; – used Google to search resume sample or format when applying for a job – Search for a resource for your assignments or homework on a search engine – Used grammarly to edit your writing, and so on.
Then you have used an AI powered system to something. I guess the intention in all these scenarios is to get a better version of your final result.
See it as a nice gesture for going all out to get you words that will warm your heart. I wouldn't overthink it.
OP already knows she's a cheater.
That doesn't necessarily mean he's told anyone. If he is trying to reconcile and still be friends it's possible he's spared her the embarrassment of telling everyone.
would you put up a picture of your bare butt for the world to see?
I wouldnt. As such there would be a serious difference between my gf and me. do i want that kinda difference to my partner? no.
Just like me, you are allowed to think/feel the way you do. but be reminded, this is a YOU issue and not a gf issue
Literally how people work
I think your gf's male friend has a crush on your gf but with an odd twist. He gets off on other men fucking her. That's why he sent her the stockings, ostensibly to “help her with her insecurities”. It is not normal to send lingerie to close female friends for them to wear when having sex with other men. He has probably masturbated hard to the thought of your gf enjoying sex with you while wearing the stockings.
What your gf gets from this is obviously the attention and the devotion. Her male friend has no doubt provided her with real value over the years but he has gone too far because what he's doing is interfering with the relationship between you and your gf. In particular, the offer for you to move in to live with him as a trio was very strange. I think he wants to witness your sexual relationship up close. It is not enough for him to donate your gf sexy lingerie to wear while having sex with another man. He wants to hear the action through the walls. That the move almost happened is bizarre.
It seems to me this guy has your gf hooked. She is addicted to the attention and the validation he's supplying her.
Dude you cant “love” someone you havent asked out. Tbh you need to pull yourself together. Give her reasons to “like” you. Then date her and see “IF” you two actually have a connection. Love should take a lot of time and effort to establish. All you have is infatuation and it means nothing at all unless you take things to the next level.
Very insightful, I do care and I don’t know why. I have never been like this with anybody else. Thanks for the words.
Dating is a human construct as well. No one said it’s a requirement to be in a long and happy relationship but you are not fully committed to a person if you’re not married because marriage is quite literally the ultimate commitment you can make to a partner.
i wrote it obviously i read it. lol
Yep.
Being the term is used way too much – this actually Gaslighting. Leave him and cut all contact. Not your fault he chooses to self harm.
With stuff like this, I never ask.
I just transfer the money with the bank message “for X, I insist”.
He wasn't emasculated. He was sexually assaulted.
yeah tbh you can't ruin his christmas like that id be ruined
God this story is always so hard to read
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That’s what we’ve been trying. And yeah, he recognises that the feelings don’t come from a rational place.
If I tell my partner there’s a certain thing I’m not willing to discuss anymore, I expect him to respect me and my choices. If I’ve heard him talk about something plenty of times, I gave him my input and he still won’t stop…. That’s an issue. He can’t respect her boundaries around her own body. She ASKED him and then TOLD him SEVERAL times to quit making comments about her weight, quit discussing her weight. If ANYTHING, he should discuss her mental health and her alcohol consumption. Also, if you’re partying “too often” and drinking “too often” you’re a fucking alcoholic. And alcoholics need HELP. Meaning, doctors, AA, therapy. I am VERY knowledgeable in alcoholics and drug addicts because of my family. I have been through so many of these things with family members and myself. If you can’t understand; good on you. But this post isn’t about her health no matter which way you spin it. It’s about her WEIGHT. Maybe just maybe….op’s girlfriend is trying to do things in her own way & doesn’t want to deal with the criticism of the person who says he loves her. People who have put on some weight always have other people commenting on it and it gets frustrating. It’s not op’s body to sit here and maintain. If his issues with her weight overweigh his love and attraction for her, he should leave her. Not pester her into shit she’s already told him she doesn’t want to speak about. BOUNDARIES.
Just think if the roles were reversed, would you later in life want to date someone the same age as your kid? It's very weird on his part
Girl what did I just read? Like….please tell me thie isn't real and that you're not seriously considering staying with him and having children?!?!
I learned that people come into our lives for a reason. Some of those reasons are to teach us a lesson. Doesn't not mean they aren't important but they don't have to be in your life forever.
You just seen 1st hand how different you both see your own future. He wants children and you don't. That's it. There's no compromise here where anybody is really happy.
And breaking up will hurt too but a lot less than being pregnant.
He got the crush after we started dating
The fact that you can't stop thinking about it, and it's messed your head up, says a lot about you and your character. It says you care about that child. And that's important! He probably views you as a parent. Or maybe just a play friend? Only you know the truth.
After reading your reply to several comments, I see that you felt there was no longer a connection to the mother and that she was avoiding you on purpose. Who knows whether she was just fucking with your head, or maybe she was spending that time with someone else? But the reason doesn't really matter. What really matters is she is using her child to hurt you and manipulate you.
So you need to think about what YOU want.
Do you love this child and want to continue to see him, spend time with him, and have him in your life? If so, there are ways to make that happen. But you'll have to deal with a certain level of contact with the mom, since the child is a minor.
Or do you feel you're not a father to this child, and you want a clean break from both of them? If so, going no contact and blocking her on everything is the way to go. Because this woman will always attempt to manipulate you, if you allow her the chance.
So you have agreed to be child free too?
Let him know you’re going to be as quiet as you can be, but because of the layout of the apartment, you won’t be able to avoid all noise that might wake him up. And offer him some earplugs.
We have a cat and a housemate who makes kitchen noise in the middle of the night. I just close the door if it wakes me up, and the cat can hold it or wake me up.
Have you ever been bitten by a hungry Italian?
Wow. Mom here. This isn’t okay but makes sense that he was your teacher first. You aren’t going to change him. You must know that he’s preaching misogyny at its finest. I’m just going to say this. Do you want your daughter to end up in the marriage your husband describes? Being the girl your husband describes. Do you want your son to end up like your husband? It’s what will happen if you stay. I left my marriage for my kids. I didn’t have the right to raise my boys to treat women as I was being treated. Just my story.
50 times in 6-months seems low for 18-19 year olds. My wife and I have flown past that number since July and we’re in our mid-30’s.
Obviously, I know what fwb is that has nothing to do with the question.
Would you accept “I was drunk and didn’t know what I was doing” from your BF? Part of being in a committed relationship is you don’t put yourself in a position to cheat. If I were you, I’d cut down on drinking in the future.
No. He didn't force you.
I get the same vibes I honestly can’t tell if it’s to say he’s putting in more or he’s not fully committed?? He is a very hard worker and has worked for everything he has. He’s NEVER asked me for money and I’ve never asked him, he’s always been to one to randomly Zelle me and say ($10 to get a red bull have a good day). He pays for our meals most of the time and I also do as well. I mean equally, we both put in money. We have 2 large dogs as well and live together rn. Only rarely has he asked me to buy the food or to give him money. I’ve never had a problem doing that of course.
Other than that our relationship is great! He is definitely a mommas boy!! He’s only been in one relationship and it was for 3 years, then stayed single for 5 years until he met me he was extremely heartbroken with a-lot of insecurities and trust issues himself we’ve gotten passed all that. His mom loves me and spoils me more than him… I just feel like he doesn’t know how to do the whole couple thing tbh. He never had to in the relationship he was in before (weird situation but it’s legit). He never used to compromise but eventually I told him he had to compromise because I was doing it way to often and I wasn’t going to do it anymore. So I will say, he’s come around a lot. We’ve broken up a few times (because of my mental health) but he’s always came back and was there for me even when I was struggling and never judged me. Even when we weren’t together. I have severe health issues (I told myself I’d NEVER EVER let a guy know to many details about it cause it’s not attractive & embarrassing to me) but he’s NEVER been grossed out or anything. He ALWAYS makes sure he carry’s a cath with him everywhere he goes. He’s always making sure I’m making my appointments and getting things that I can’t eat for example I love salt and vinegar chips but I can’t have to much salt so every once in awhile he’ll put a few in a baggie for me, doesn’t salt our food, and has been wanting to start a meal plan for me. I just don’t know what’s going on. But thanks for your feedback!
Terminating parental rights is absolutely a thing in the United States. Parents can petition the courts to remove themselves from their child’s life. Usually it happens when both parents agree it’s in the best interest of the child, if the child is to be adopted by a third person (like a step parent) or if the state feels the parents are unfit. In the above situation, the ips husband has the right to petition the court to terminate his parental rights. Doesn’t mean it’ll be granted, but he has that right.
You probably aged out of his sexual preferences
You're still so young. There's nothing wrong with breaking up, it'll just hurt for a while. Get out sooner than later.
Nah, lack of respect or poor time management
You don't owe her anything. For a Christian, she's behaving very un-Christian like.
I did. I raised these concerns yesterday after HE initiated the conversation in the morning. He left me on read for hours. I asked him if we could talk on the phone about it instead, he said he was busy but “another time we could”. I ended it. He said i am only ending it because i'm not getting my way and its inconvienient to me that he can't talk about it right now. I blocked him and I'm done. Enough of this bs. He roped me into a conversation then twisted it to be about me being unreasonable. Psychotic.
You're overlooking the fact that the two of you have unhealthy patterns of behavior in your relationship. Should you get back together, these patterns would cause the relationship to fall apart yet again.
For example, she can be controlling and manipulative. And you seem to have trouble communicating how you feel with her, and that pushes her away. So even though you love each other, you are unable to make the relationship work.
Note that these relationship patterns are due to personal issues that will affect all of your relationships. So it's really important to concentrate on personal development in order to have healthy relationships in the future.
From your point of view, the most important thing right now is to get back with your girlfriend. But years from now, after you've had other relationships, you'll likely see this situation a lot differently. Hopefully, you'll be able to view this relationship as the motivation you needed to work on yourself.
Was it his first work trip, and how long was it?
Was it his first work trip, and how long was it?
And guess what. That’s perfectly acceptable. Not wanting to be with someone for literally ANY reason is fine.
This idiot cousin wants to “best you”. She is competitive. And she is “off”. (maybe a personality disorder? Bi-polar? idk).
One thing for sure: she is a manipulator. Manipulators want what they want & will say or do anything to get their way.
The good news is that, likely, your family will figure this out sooner or later.
Manipulators are also very clever to get sympathy & to ruin relationships. (They turn people against each other.)
Be nice always. Occasionally see her & don’t have money for lunch either. (Or whatever)
Be cool. In time, most everyone will see what kind of person she is. But they gotta see it for themselves. Trust that she cannot turn this behavior off and eventually no one wants to be involved with her.
And know that manipulative people usually cannot change & they are doomed to a life without true friends.
You, my dear, sound like a high quality, smart person. Yay! Have empathy for this sicko.
Are you married? Would you go see an ex if your spouse was uncomfortable? If you need to go to Reddit to answer that question, there’s something else there.
I honestly would say don't tell him, it's gonna fuck him up and give him insecurities
But you should completely cut it off. Being his friend after cheating on him is just cruel
you're young and now is the time to learn these things. I dont even celebrate my birthdays anymore. I mourn them.
Yeah, that’s the issue with these sites. Some are excellent and responsible. Does not seem like that was the case with what ever city that site featured.
Hey, you sound like a good guy. Rest assured you'll find the spark again and be glad you dodge the bullet that this asshole Danielle is.
by this logic he shouldn’t even go to work; how will she survive on her own??
Jilted suited vibe. Get over it.
Thanks for the reply. I understand I am being selfish. Is saying I will be quiet, wear headphones and isolate myself not a compromise? It's not the most caring thing I could do, but neither is asking me to leave my house. Why am I the one asked if I should live alone if she is the one that wants the space? I'm fine sharing the space, with both of us in it. Not one in one out whenever she needs it.
I think it’d be worth going back now that you’re speaking and seem more settled in.
“you sexually assaulted me multiple times when you know I didn't want you to cum in my mouth. how could you even ASK me to do it again after I've made it a clear boundary AGAIN” hey OP anything else he tries to coerce you to do or does when you tell him not to? don't have to answer that but think about it. doesnt sound like much of a good person.
Stop screaming at us for starters.
so yall arent sexually compatible and it’s blatantly obvious. if he is really into something you flat out refuse to do, and its one of his sexual needs, unless you are ok with someone else sucking him off i see disaster in the longterm.
so do you have to suck him off? no. should he be expected to stay? also no. maybe sit down and talk this out, because anyone can blatantly see that you have such differing sexual tastes as to literally cause relationship issues
I am indeed. He hasn’t met my daughter due to the minimum 6 months waiting period that I require. Namely to protect her from things like this; pure confusion and not a lot of stability in where we’re at or where we’re going. Amongst other things of course.
I mean other than having security on the lookout, I would just A announce it at the lobby of the ceremony, “ladies and gentlemen, please don’t be alarmed but there will be a idiot clown in attendance, do not react to him as he just seeks attention, he is the brides brother, thank you”
i think u might be right, i think it might be a defence mechanism because hes done this in the past when we had arguments over text or over call.
i tried to control my emotions but it was a pretty fresh wound and the situation that i was crying abt happened that morning. i do agree i am an emotionally sensitive person and he is a quiet nonchalant kind of guy. thanks this response helped me see it in a different perspective
If he can't make a decision without his mother at 30, he never will. Is this the future you're looking for?
You don’t have any meaning apart from each other? Is that what you believe, too? Get out before you drown in the despair inflicted on you by this pwBPD.
You absolutely need confidentiality with your therapist. You don’t need to share anything about your therapy with your GF, beyond anything that affects her (updates on your progress and things that affect the relationship, not what you’re talking about specifically). And your GF needs to respect that, that you need that confidentiality for the therapy to work.
Ok I could maybe put up with that for a week or two but not a lifetime. Solution is give it to her. Don’t discuss, get a lawyer and serve her papers. Life is way to short and precious to live like this.
If he’d said they found an existing porn video with someone who resembled the gf, I might’ve believed that. But them tracking down a physical double who was willing to be recorded having a gangbang on short notice in a foreign destination is ludicrous.
Honestly, appearance is such a silly reason to love someone. Everyone will get old and wither away eventually. If he loves who you are and y’all are happy together, and he didn’t say anything specifically rude or disrespectful in these messages, I would take it as a good sign and accept his apology
LOL, break up. WTF are you doing to yourself being mono with a gf with lovers on the side? Have some self love, my dude. You're not the “consolation prize”, you're not even a prize to her, you're just one of her lovers and that's it. But hey, if you want to be “one of her boyfriends”, that's on you because this won't change, it'll just get worse.
girl code! exes are always off limits! but, i would absolutely ask her first because she could be okay with it!
One day this dude is going to straight up finish cleaning the kitchen spotless like she wants it, put away the mop, look around a minute and then go quietly walk into traffic or something.
We are talking about a child here. I know this will be difficult for you and your wife but you have to make the child a priority. This child has no control over her life. You are her father. You give your daughter the best life you possibly can. Everybody needs to suck it up. If you do this your life will be beautiful. That's a promise I make. Make your daughter the hub of the wheel. Don't spoil her, but keep her at the core of your decisions. You are her dad. Do the right thing.
Sit down with your wife and set some rules. Let her know what your boundaries are and ask her for hers. Very important.
When it all kicks off. Be the director. Imagine you’re a movie director. Give instructions and tell your partners want you want to see and do. Lead the interaction.
Massages are great. Lighting matters. Temperature matters. Condoms, lube and toys matter. Toys can be like fourth.
Focus on your wife. It will be exciting to have access to two lovers but don’t get to caught up in the other girl. Focus on your wife, her pleasure. Tell her you love her. Tell her how beautiful she looks. How good it feels to be with her.
When you’re with the other girl, ask your wife what she’s like you to do with her. Giver her some power over your interaction.
Don’t ignore your third but she should feel like she’s adding to something strong and loving as opposed to just being one of three people fucking.
I’d say it’s weird.
The key to relationships is communication. Communicate to him how it makes you feel. If he agrees that it’s weird and says he’ll stop or at least try, he’s a good dude.
If he says you’re paranoid or whatever and blows you off, not a great guy.
Don’t tell reddit. Tell him. Best of luck
Choose the dream.
Honestly, why waste your time on a liar and cheater? There is nobody worth that type of headache.
Holy crap whose cutting onions in here?
OP this is so sweet. You and your husband are clearly in love! I agree with some of the above statements- ask him what HE wants. Maybe he wants to start collecting something, maybe he'd really love a cuddly toy/plushies now and again. Maybe he'd want quality time. Love notes are also a super good idea! Hide them in random places too so he finds them randomly 🙂
My friend once made me a joke jar. She wrote a load of silly jokes on tiny bits of paper, filled the jar, and when I need a laugh I pick one out. They're all bad dad jokes too!
You shared way too much info including about an abortion and still manage to play the victim. Incredible. I hope she dumps you.
Yea. Tell her she stinks.
In my town :
3 college age teens in a pickup coming home from a party. All 3 drunk. Driver going too fast, loses control and crashes into a tree. All 3 killed.
3 families destroyed.
2001, Saturday morning on Labor Day weekend, 14 yr old leaves a note on kitchen chalkboard for his parents that he’s gone on a bike ride. They arrive home to a massive amount of police, fire and rescue presence, a street away from their home. An impaired driver (pills) struck the son doing at least 40 mph and killed him. A beautiful 14 yr old boy, a classmate of my son. Parents destroyed, a brother who lost him and his parents as he knew them; driver was a 20 yr old single mother. She did a year in jail. I imagine this haunts her every day. As it should.
I knew the parents. They just about lost their minds. They did stay together but my heart breaks for them still. I think of their son often. Cannot imagine what it’s like for them.
In the town where we used to live, a 56 yr old grandfather had over 40 DUI’s. Lost his license but continued to drive. He FINALLY got thrown in jail. Only by the grace of god he did not hurt anyone.
Your bf did something heinous. The fact that he didn’t harm himself or anyone else is beside the point. It was beyond irresponsible. If he was going to party with his friends he should have uber-ed there and Uber-ed home. There is no excuse for what he did. In this day and age there are plenty of alternatives for getting oneself home while drunk.
I respect your decision to break it off.
While I understand your hurt and betrayal it seems your reaction is probably why they wanted to break it to you gently vs the way you found out. My mom died and my dad remarried within 2years and while I felt shocked it was also a relief because life was too short to not move on and the thought of him being alone and sad definitely would’ve been worse than any thoughts of betrayal
Friend.
Why are you on here asking this?
This is ridiculous behavior.
He doesn't love you and likely isn't capable of being the man you need long term.
Go find love. And call your Dad.
I am taking accountability I regret my actions and the kiss and I feel bad for both guys but I can't help who I have feelings for or who I find physically attractive
Wait for your husband to get home and sit down to have an adult conversation. Lay out how him doing everything with his appearance before trip and his behaviour on it concerned you. Make it clear to him that you will not allow him to dismiss your concerns and feelings. If he gaslights you or is dismissive I would say you have your answer.
The real question is, how do you feel about him cheating? What would be your next steps? Not ever couple splits so think through your options and let him know. Good luck and I hope you get on well.
Did? You mean still doing? Coz you're still cheating, and are planning to keep doing so. You're a shitty person an he neither of these guys deserve to be inflicted with you.
Clearly you are not mature enough yet if you are still considering this.
Move on.
You don't love her at all. She puts out. That is the only thing you have to say about her. You aren't attracted to her she is just there. This is not how relationships work. You need to experience love and excitement. Your friend is right.
He flirted with the girl before after he did something similar to me. I don’t see anything wrong with showing him how it feels to be disrespected.