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CUM SHOW [449 tokens remaining]
Date: November 25, 2022
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My family was of the uptight Christian variety. We weren't even allowed to watch the Smurfs (child of the 80s).
My uncles however, were all a bit rough around the edges. So I learned a lot about real life from my uncles. Stuff that would have make my ultra-conservative parents shit a brick.
While it didn't happen, had one of my uncles shared his old PlayBoy's (or similiar) with me, that would have been on-brand and, to my modern sensibilities, harmless.
However I feel that sharing porn in today's world is VERY different.
Your 13 year old has easy access to infinite porn (and despite what you may want to believe about your innocent ray of sunshine, I'm pretty sure he looks at it on the regular).
There's just no reason for Uncle to share porn.
Because of that it feels creepy.
Grooming is a word thrown around a lot today (mostly by people who love institutionalized grooming and indoctrination–but it's okay when they do it), so I hesitate to use that word…
But… this feels like it might be grooming behavior.
It might also be an uncle trying to be the cool adult. So before you lose all perspective I would recommend talking to your brother. Get his side. Then go from there.
Our culture thinks everyone is a pedo nowadays. It would suck if you ruined relationships over a misunderstanding.
We met again on an anonymous app. With very few details I immediately knew it was her, after she messaged to help me with something. Met up a day or two later. Been together ever since.
Hi, as someone who went thru EXACTLY the same thing-a perfect man with consistent love-it took me a while to find Borderline personality symptoms here. Yours sounds(not diagnosing) like a quiet bpd. To put it simply-they idolize, then them split(blame you, can be internal), then discard you. Read on it. But remember-it is really and fully not you. It is mental illness.
Thank you. Sending ♥️ to you.
moral judgement
The only thing it sounds like you still need to talk about is the distance and boundaries to put between you. You probably need both some time apart to get over the breakup, and you definitively could do without the drunk calls.
If you're not ready, you're not ready. It sounds like she's in a rush because she is on visa here. Obviously that shouldn't make you feel pressured if you aren't ready, but hopefully she will wait.
What would moving in after 1.5 years of dating do? Would that make you more comfortable to get married sooner?
Have you two discussed your future, finances, and kids yet?
“giving in” is counter to “enjoying.”
perhaps the comment means
if you are Smart enough to go to law school why can’t you figure out that this guy is jacking you around?
what would you do if a client wanted a divorce and describe the husband as the man in the relationship with you, what would your advice be?
So basically, they didn't empathize with their son and move him schools “of course” and just ignored his anguish about it. Sad.
Do not break girl code! It is wrong to make a pass at someone in a relationship no matter what. Crushes at your age come and go but friends can more easily stick around! try to put it out of your mind and it will go away eventually.
If you like Bob go for it! Do what makes you happy
Hugs. I hope you know how strong you are.
Call the police and let them handle it. You block him and do not have any contact with him again.
I'm pretty much an open book with my partner, but I do hide how little I eat. Which I know gets to him, I'm trying to work on it….. But it's hard :/
I don't for a minute believe a psychiatrist recommend that.
Those people are idiots, to put it mildly.
You know what’s a whole hell of a lot worse for an infant than stress in utero? Premature delivery, a potentially life-defining eye infection, and pneumonia because the baby caught chlamydia coming out of the birth canal.
Fuck this insane loser. Wtf is wrong with you that you would even consider marriage with this twat? Seriously and why are you bringing up long past medical procedures on the 2nd date? That's bizarre. Yeah you need to spend some time being nice to yourself until you get used to proper treatment by other people because this bullshit isn't it.
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Because communication is an important part of a healthy relationship. I don’t know why Reddit and other places tell women to immediately dump the guy over every thing.
I think it’s just because they hate men and just take joy in causing a man some bit of suffering, not because it’s actually the best solution.
Oh right. Yeah that may have been joking but kind or ride, especially when op's mom was there.
You need to look at all of this as a whole.
You are telling yourself that the alcohol played a part and that she has since 'cut back.' But she shouldn't be drinking at all with her medication, she behaved badly enough that her own sister asked her to leave town and go back home and if she truly felt remorse, guilt or shame for what she's done, she would not be drinking at all. Which tells you where your relationship falls in her priority hierarchy. It falls somewhere under 'drinking' even though it damaged her relationship with you, damaged her relationship with her older sister and possibly damaged her relationship with her younger sister.
her bestfriend is an enemy of your relationship. She hangs out with someone who encourages her to lie and care only about herself. At least her sisters appear to be decent people who don't condone what she did and are trying to convince her to come clean. How would you ever be okay with her going out partying and drinking with her best friend?
Your relationship is long distance so it will be next to impossible for her to build trust again. Especially considering she is still actively hiding this from you for her own benefit. She wants to get away with it and not have any consequences. If that weren't true, you would already know about this. She won't even self-impose the consequence of no longer drinking. She essentially has just that one consequence but mitigates even that by only 'cutting down.' Don't you think if she truly felt awful about what happened she would have self-imposed all kinds of consequences? Don't you when you feel awful about something you've done? You do everything you can to correct it and make sure it can never happen again. You certainly don't say “Yeah, what I did was awful buuuut, give up drinking completely?? Is that reeeeeally necessary?? What if I just cut down a bit?”
You are really early into this relationship and this is a massive breach to overcome,particularly when you have an unwilling partner. This is too much to work through for a long-distance, short-term dating scenario. If this were a financial investing situation, this stock just plummeted and it's clearly going to take quite awhile for it to recover, if it even does. Do you get out now or do you invest even more money?
Your post history has different ages from just a few days ago. Is this a real post?
BAHAHAH sorry for the spelling mistake
If he never makes the food, he’s not going to know how.
I don’t think beating him up over something that you’re choosing to do for him is a good way to go about this.
It be hard for me because I never want her to feel like her problems aren’t being seen or heard because I’m always here for here if she ever wants to open up but it’s also hard because of everything I’m dealing with and it is never a time I can let out the things I’m dealing with because I know that would put more pressure on her shoulders so it’s like being stuck being a rock and a hard place
Get out you’re not safe! Leave before it gets worse because it definitely will. His boldness is terrifying
Once you give someone something you have to make peace with it. You should ever give with the expectation of receiving something back.
Next time.. let them pick the gift, or listen when they say the like things and make a note. Don’t just guess what people want.
This is the case for a lot of people, especially guys, and is mostly culturally motivated. I don't think this is something you should lose sleep over nor does it mean he loves you less or anything like that. A lot of traditional people always jokingly treat engagement/marriage as the end of “fun”, some people just take the joke too far and even start believing it's true. As long as he doesn't hold misogynistic beliefs you should be fine.
Nah, the awful part is that I found out cuz he gave me herpes (unlike the STD he gave me, that I can't be rid of) and how do I know neither of us had it before? We been living together for a year at the point I found out 🙂 but hey! At least now I'm haunted for life by a reminder of him every time it's unseasonably cold ??. Ya I might be a bit bitter..
Kind of, I asked him to call me more, etc (he said he would) but nothing has really changed. I don’t want to be confrontational or anything but I just don’t know what to say or do
I suggest you read: Not Just Friends by Dr Shirley Glass
Its based on research (not some strangers opinion) of couples that unintentionally experienced infidelity from “just a friend “.
The book will enable you to talk constructively and intelligently about how to appropriately manage friendships.
Currently she's failing. She's an
I know it’s cruel, but I don’t know if she can handle the death of someone else she loves and I don’t want her to hurt herself
You need to do what's best for YOUR health. Period.
I was like you once, and my world changed once I fully detoxed from BC. It takes a huge toll on your body and takes SO long for your hormones and menstrual cycle to reset itself.
If he doesn't respect your decision then you have to put your foot down and not give him any action. Why should he expect you to sacrifice your long-term health if he can't do something as simple as using a condom ? Definitely not cool.
If he doesn't respect you or your body enough to wrap his tool or get snipped (which neither are as detrimental as BC) then perhaps he's not “the one” for you.
Birth control pills are NOT the only choice for birth control for women. I also know of a lot of women who have problems with the birth control pill, and here's something interesting about the pill: it literally changes the type of men many women are attracted to. Interesting, huh? Anyway, I digress.
There are many options. For men, the only three that I know about are surgery (most likely permanent, it is NOT meant to be reversed and reversal is far from certain), condoms (which have varying degrees of unpleasantness, depending on the person), and abstinence (which is the most certain, but y'know…). Only discussing surgery for the guy or condoms is kind of excluding a lot of options. It is no more fair to put it all on the guy than it is to put it all on the gal.
Also, from personal, direct, experience, I can think of three people in my own life who were adamantly against having biological children at age 23 and changed their minds, having PLANNED children, before age 30. So surgery is probably not a great idea at this age. The brain isn't even done maturing until later than this.
So, all of that leaves other, newer, options for birth control. And there is a BIG list, but they all seem to be used by the woman since the “male pill” is still in development (I think…?). The only one of those that I am very familiar with is the Mirena IUD, which seemed to be well thought of by the women I know who used them.
It doesn't sound like talking is his strong suit. I don't think you'll get anywhere with him by trying to talk about your issues. I mean you could try, but something tells me you already have.
If you want something different from your relationship, try doing something different that you haven't tried before. Whether that's therapy (solo or together), leaving, a break, stopping giving so much etc. Try to do something differently. Doing more I'd the same will just bring you more of the same. Expecting him to change without making changes yourself is wishful thinking.
She broke up with you to pursue the boy.
Move on, sorry.
Imagine a guard doing his job. Would you have preferred he NOT tell her??
She‘s not doing this for you, she‘s doing it for herself. She wants to claim your tattoo as reference to your wedding in the future, because she is jealous it exists with reference to someone else. Huge red flag and definetely no overreaction on your part.
My wife is always welcome she comes to dinner with us whenever i go or she goes on herself. My wife gets whatever she wants I don’t understand why she’s acting like that
Then he is either delusional or intentionally trying to get as much as he can at your expense. In either case, it doesn't sound like a good relationship to be in.
Let me give you a contrasting example.
My wife and I married while I was still in college. She had a full-time job in the lab where she used to work as an undergrad, and was making good money; I had a part-time student job. As a result, when we rented an apartment, she ended up paying the rent and utilities because she had the bulk of the income. Either of us would pay for gas or groceries when we were doing those things, or if we occasionally went out together for lunch or dinner.
When I was going to graduate, we decided to move to another state. She moved first (I had to finish classes), and so ended up renting a place, and getting all utilities in her name again. When I got there, we had all our furniture together again, and we each had good computer jobs.
But it wasn't long before I realized that she was making a lunch at home, while I was eating at the cafeteria or going out with coworkers. While our income was about the same, she had all the expenses. (We had separate finances at that time.)
So we sat down and worked it out this way: We merged our checking accounts, and had our direct deposit go into the checking account, and paid all bills from there. It was our money now, not hers and mine. So we had household income and expenses, and could budget for things like getting lunch. We were also able to work down our debt, and bought a house a few years later.
There is a sharing technique for things like food: If two people are splitting an item, one person cuts, but the other person gets first choice of the pieces. There's no benefit to an unfair cutting of the pieces.
What you describe with your boyfriend is someone who wants to cut and who wants to have first choice of the results. He's setting the financial limits (no house under $300k and such), without regard to the financial impact on you. A person you have a lifelong commitment with is someone you should care about, not someone you try to financially beggar so you get what you want.
If you don't feel safe with him, stop seeing him.
You are using “their” in this sense to refer to a series 1s and 0s on a computer. If you consider that a sentient being capable of doing anything other than organizing words based on a math formula, then you are not only insecure you are also nuts.
Part of our job as parents is to demonstrate healthy relationships for our kids to model. Even if you’re not fighting, kids pick up on tension and lack of intimacy outside of the bedroom. Being in that kind of environment can cause kids to have higher rates of anxiety disorders and other mental health issues.
And smoking in the house is not healthy for your child. Hell, around here, you could lose custody of the child for exposing them to drugs like that.
I think you should consult a therapist. think you should make an exit plan—get a job, investigate childcare options, and move out. Move back with your parents if you must. Women’s shelters often have a lot of resources that can help—like making an exit plan, a safety plan, job placement, childcare, etc.
I’
Your advice is fine if he had a one night stand, not an entire year long affair with a teenager.
Well, this certainly does sound complicated, all things considered.
2nd EDIT: I texted her how it’s over
You are the man OP. Stay strong and stay healthy.
Take her off that pedestal and discard.
What kind of a poor guy sees a vag pic from his girl and talks about her vagina like this whether it is hers or not? How can one talk about a vagina like this and not be an AH?
I can't pretend that I understand your problem. I really don't mind which one of my names my girlfriend chooses to call me but hey I got my own things that other people don't understand.
So, the question is, is this a deal-breaker for you? If yes, then let him know that he might not be able to understand it but it's a big deal to you and you won't change your mind about it. Let him know that it may not be fun to call you the name you want but that's what you prefer to be called any way and there's just no other option. Just say this is one of the few things that will seem to not have much explanation but need to be understood by him.
Similar things happen in many relationships so if he likes you, he'll soon start calling you your preferred title.
How can I keep myself sane while waiting?
Thank you!! 🙂
To me cheating is cheating, but I might give someone a second chance if I believe it wouldn’t happen again. It being a girl is almost worse because she has so many friends who like to go out, and of course if you stay together it’s important that you regain your trust for those times she’s at friends houses and drinking is involved. Personally I’d ask her to stop being friends with Amanda completely. Hopefully her friends like her enough to agree to hold gatherings without Amanda at least half the time. The other thing I strongly suggest would be no more than 2-3 drinks in a night. And you might as well agree to the same limit (maybe 3-4 if you are a big guy who holds liquor very well), so that you don’t revenge cheat one drunken night.
Tell him straight up to stop.
“I don't appreciate these kinds of statements from you. Please stop.”
If he continues, tell him to stop again.
If he doesn't stop, simply cut contact. If he comes over to hang with your mom? Go somewhere else. Do not let him be in your presence. If he starts talking? Walk away without a word.