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Its normal for food service. As long as it isn't effecting her ability to do her job. Id be surprised if her boss didn't have a pen themselves.
Tell him he either gets therapy, or you’re out.
You clearly are very passionate about this, and as a woman with ADHD and hypersensitivity and a therapist, I hope more infos about women with autism becomes known to the population. However, OP’s knowledge doesn’t matter here for a few reason. 1) they are not compatible. She doesn’t care for him as a person, doesn’t enjoy spending time with him: she doesn’t like the same food as he does, doesn’t like his musical taste, doesn’t like his art, etc. OP says that she reacts to music/art with blank stare so she doesn’t care. OP is an artist and she doesn’t care about his art. 2) she’s an adult. As such, she needs to communicate her needs and wants to OP. Autism or not, he can’t guess. She doesn’t do that, or not fully. I’m not saying that she’s at fault, just that their limitation in communication makes them incompatible. 3) OP doesn’t understand her. OP needs reciprocity which she doesn’t give him. She doesn’t need to change for him, and vice versa. But her way of acting is not compatible with OP’s need and OP’s way of acting is not compatible with hers.
He went to the police instead of using his own hands to put that man in the ground where he belongs. I don’t know if therapy can fix that kind of weakness
Therapy. It’s actually really helpful! I’m not being glib. Your recognize that this is a YOU problem and you’re (very thankfully) not asking for advice on how to confront your gf or make her to understand your point of view, the way you tackle it is self help.
Depends on if you want to get answers, or have moved on.
If you want answers, then agree to meet up, somewhere public and you take someone with you.
If not, tell him that the time for him to explain his actions was 5 years ago, and you would prefer him to not contact you again.
If he'll leave you for that, he'll probably leave you anyway. You have to decide for yourself.
Haha I meant with hair all over the place. I always make sure it's washed and clean and she has assured me she doesn't mind. I believe her because she'll do it spontaneously sometimes, but like I said it's sad she can't see it's the same way for me
I'm sorry, but what he is saying is 'I don't trust you and believe you will cheat on and lie to me'. She's saying it's pretty hurtful he feels that way. Two different things.
I do agree that this is something that can break a relationship
You trying to apologize is essentially a parallel to how you've let her treat you for the duration of your marriage, and I imagine relationship. To be clear, I'm entirely on your side here, so I apologize for coming off as mean. But I want you to realize this reality, and I'll get into detail as I go.
Before I do, I think more context is important. Did you agree to this dynamic prior to getting married? That she's be the sole earner, while you take care of all her needs and keep up the house? That's the assumption I'm going to make, but obviously correct me if I'm wrong.
If that's the case, income earned is both of yours, because you're essentially getting “paid” to do all of these things. If she's going to keep telling you she earns all the money, she's telling you that she has a free caretaker and maid. All the money she earns is hers, and you're lucky to be at her beck and call. The benefit of you doing so is that you get to exist in her presence, and if you spend money, you might as well be stealing it.
Now, to be fair, if you're spending recklessly, this is a different story that you've been dishonest about. I guess you'll have to let us know. Next, you need to stop saying that it IS her money; it's not. You don't work in order to support her. She needs you to not work. That's a dynamic you both created for the marriage as a whole. Also, depending on where you live, whether the house is in your name or not, it's considered marital property.
She then starts it up again. Why exactly is this happening? There has to be missing context here. As for her threatening divorce, again, depending on where you live, she's likely going to be in for a rude awakening. If you're realistically concerned with this threat, talk to an attorney immediately, if for nothing else but a free consultation to understand your rights.
To address you not knowing what to do, this really just seems like a god awful relationship. Outside of living in the house and her providing for you financially (since again, that's what you both agreed to), as a partner, what's good about her?