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stripdance [333 tokens remaining]
Date: September 30, 2022
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WeekendPussy
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Perhaps what you really need is some time to think. Give yourself permission to go on vacation. Or just stay with a friend and give yourself time to not deal with him for a minute. You can tell him it's a vacation or that it was a last minute thing that came up. That'll give you time to figure out what to say to him.
Then you'll have time to confront the hard facts while you think, without having to deal with the stabbing pain of knowing he's lying to you every time you look at him while you process all this. That way you don't have to say anything to him right now while you process. Nor will he be suspicious.
Then you can decide how to deal with it.
Unfortunately, you know you'll have to tell him so he can get himself treated. And you also know this is the beginning of the end of your relationship. Just because you didn't see it coming doesn't mean it's not true. Your relationship will never be the same again and you know that.
You love him. We've all been there, loving someone who doesn't deserve our time. But take it from those of us who have already gone through this hell. The longer you stay the worse it'll be for you in the end. Because you can already see that this relationship will end, that's why you're saying you're not ready to break up with him, because you know it's coming. But then at the very end of it all, you'll judge yourself for every day you stayed past finding all of this out. We don't have to judge you. I'm not. I understand how hard it can be.
But trust me when I tell you, one day, you'll look back and you'll judge yourself three times as harshly as anyone here ever would. That's one of the hardest parts of really healing. As hard as it is to find the strength to let go. Part of you knows you're only hurting yourself in the long run.
You poor darling. Take care of your health and give yourself space from him to take care of your mental health while you process. I'm sorry you're going through all of this.
You handle it by getting rid of the man.
If he can't be consistent and is hours and hours late at the ripe age of 31, that's because he doesn't care about being on time for you. He's showing you how he is and what you can expect.
Leave the dude for someone who can be consistent and respect their commitments along with your time.
(I always let him choose because I know he’ll be late)
Stop doing this. Do not enable other people's bad behaviour. Moving forward with other men you date, don't just accommodate these major flaws. 10 minutes late or something is annoying, but it's vastly different than consistently being HOURS late for no reason other than he doesn't care to be on time for you and stick to his word.
Doubt he'd be so open about it if it was a fetish. Nah, he just knows how guys can be and doesn't want to think of his daughter being subjected to it.
So you're irresponsible with your health AND playing mind games. At 30. Gotcha. Girl, what are you doing? Tell him you want to see him before you disappear for 3 months.
You don't get to “approve” of someone using their money on a human being they created. That's ridiculous.
That’s why I’m asking for opinions from different people based on their experiences
and that is legitimate, and I don't think anyone is expecting OP to not spend that time with her family.. But how can it be done so that he ALSO feels less anxiety when they visit.
My family is a VERY loud, rather brash family from NJ, our arguments are actually super thoughtful and polite, but if you don't listen to what we're saying, they SOUND like we're calling each other every name in the book.. It's just us, we get loud and very animated… My ex was EXHAUSTED by it… But they rarely visited, so I could have just said “well, you have to deal with me wanting to discuss world political issues with my family, LOUDLY, because its my home and we like to argue…”
But that would be rude to my ex, so I would move us on the deck or distract the conversation when we were starting one of our “we will fix the world” debates, because I knew he hated dealing with it.
My parents still visited occasionally, but I loved him, and respected that certain things about these people (that I love about them, and that I share – we really love to debate STUPID details of huge topics) were hard for him to put up with in his home… So I saved it for times when he wasn't around… I got my family, but he didn't have to feel like his home was turning into what felt (to him) like a war zone.
(seriously, these are the most polite conversations, they just get REALLY loud and VERY animated, and the disagreements were on the most ridiculously miniscule nuances of whatever we are debating)
Look, people here are telling you that relationship is not a tit-for-tat game.
You want a “fair” service – call a prostitute.
If you're spending money and count exactly how much you spent in order to demand the exact same from your partner instead if it being from your heart, stick to a fwb or whatever paying transactional relationships you want.
Thank you so much
If he doesn’t stand up for you, he doesn’t love you. Or maybe he does, but you come in second place or worse.
You deserve someone who puts you first. This man isn’t it.
Cut this relationship off. Tell him that you realize he was making a mean spirited joke to intentionally hurt you and make you insecure, and that guess what—-it worked. So now you feel like you need a fresh start with someone that treats you like you deserve to be treated.
Regardless, point still stands
By allowing him to abuse the dog you are also abusing the dog. Girl get out while u can
I had to stop reading because you’re letting her dictate your co parenting! This isn’t about her it’s about having a healthy coparenting! She has issues she needs to work on & you’re making it clear that you’d chose her over you!
What is done is done but it’s still time to change. For that you need to work on yourself and to start clean around you by leaving that person you cheat with. You can’t start anything healthy with a person like her and she will always remind you your worst part. Accepte that with your ex girlfriend it’s done but you can show her respect by not throwing at her face your affair. Then you Work on yourself by go to therapy like that you understand why did that and why you auto sabotage that relationship knowing how much you loved her. You will have to stop using the excuse of the alcohol because you knew what you where doing. Accept you responsibility ,do things step by step to know yourself ,heal and be able to be a better person.